DAMAGED

17.

I walk into the dining room to find everyone waiting for me. They look up when I enter and pull out a chair to sit on.

Nick doesn't waste any time. He goes straight for the question I wish I could avoid.

"What happened, Isabelle?"

I look up at him. The expression on his face says it all. He was worried sick, but why? Why do they even care?

"Nothing." I say.

I notice him pull his hand from his pocket and because of that, I push my chair back and stand up. My heart skips a couple beats as I step back as quickly as possible.

Four sets of eyes follow my abrupt action, nothing but confusion swirling in them.

"What's wrong, dear?" Mrs Miller questions, getting up from her own seat.

She takes careful steps towards me, but I step back, so she stops.

"I-"

My eyes drift back to Nick as he uses his hand to massage the sides of his head. My heart sinks at the fact that I had assumed that he'd hurt me. How could I think that of him?

"Isabelle?"

"Mh?" I turn my head to face the mother in front of me.

"What's wrong, why'd you-"

"It's nothing." I cut her off. "I'm sorry, I thought I saw a spider."

They all eye me sceptically as I continue to create a certain amount of space between me and everyone else.

Do they know I'm lying? I gasp. Oh no! Did I make them mad? Am I going to be punished?

"I'm sorry, t-that's a lie. I di-didn't see a spider. I just thought that- because you- I didn't mean to- I-"

"Isa?" James cuts my panicking self off.

He tries to step closer, but once again, I step back. I shake my head when he tries again.

"No."

A pain I recognise too well erupts within my chest as it rises and falls faster with every sescond. My mind decides to torture me with the thought of everyone not wanting anything to do with me.

You made them mad. They're gonna kick you out and you're gonna go back to your dad.

"Isabelle?"

They all try to get my attention, but the only thing that I can focus on is the different kinds of pain.

"Shhh. Mrs Miller speaks. "You're overwhelming her."

The room goes silent as everyone watches the broken girl as she starts to tremble.

"Isabelle."

My shaky hand finds my aching chest as I stumble backwards to create space between us. Nick asks if he should call the doctor and they all tell him to wait.

The room starts to spin which results in me falling onto my knees with my hands pressed tightly against the sides of my head.

"Look at me, honey." Mrs Miller places a hand on my shoulder when she finally manages to close the distance between us.

"Breathe."

She takes both my hands in hers and starts telling me about how everything is okay and that I need to calm down. Unwanted tears stream down my cheeks as I shake my head.

"I made you all mad. I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. What I did was selfish and wrong. Please don't kick me out yet."

"Why would we be mad, honey? You did nothing wrong." Her voice remains soft, and full of concern.

Unfortunately, that does nothing to calm my mind.

I feel Claire kneel down in front of me before I hear her speak.

"Sweetheart, I need you to listen to me, alright?"

She gently pulls my hands from my head and holds onto them. She tells me to breathe, but I shake my head.

"It hurts." I tell her.

"I know, but this will help it get better. I'll do it with you."

She makes me breathe in as she counts to four and out when she goes back to zero. We repeat that a couple times before she stretches out her hands and takes me into her arms.

She rubs my back gently and she tells me that all is well and that nobody is mad at me. She explains that they were all just worried about me because it was getting dark and I hadn't come home yet.

"Does that mean you're not going to punish me?" I ask softly, pulling away.

She looks at me like I've lost my mind.

"Punish you? W-why would we do that?"

"I didn't come home after school." I drop my head. "I didn't even spend the day at school."

"It's okay."

I look up at her.

"I hurt him." I confess, replaying the incident in my head. She squeezes my hands a little then looks up at the two behind us.

"Can you boys give us a minute?"

"Sure." James says.

"Alright." Luke answers.

They rush up the stairs, leaving me with Nick and Claire.

"Luke told us about what happened today." She starts off. "But I need to hear it from you. The boy says you attacked him for no reason, but I doubt that's true." She raises her eyebrows. "Is it?"

I hesitate. What if they don't believe me? Will they tell me that it was my fault?

Claire notices my reaction and squeezes my hand again, telling me to relax.

"We need your side of the story, Isabelle." Nick says.

"It's true." I whisper then drop my head so that I don't see how disappointed they are.

"Do you really want to take the fall for this?" Nick questions. "You can't even hurt a fly, Isabelle. You must have had a reason."

"There is no reason."

"Did he touch you in a way that you didn't like? Did he bully you? Did he say something?"

I shake my head.

"Isabe-"

"That's the truth." I whisper before I look up, biting my tongue to stop the tears. "It was all my fault."

He looks at me, disheartened.

"I'm sorry." I say then get up from my place on the floor. "But he is telling the truth."