Jisung was sitting on the sofa, all of the other members doing their own things. Chan and Changbin were recording, Felix was sleeping. Minho and Hyunjin were doing dance practice, Seungmin and Jeongin were playing video games. Jisung was normally alone on their free days like this. It was obvious none of the members actually liked him. He was loud, he was clingy, he was annoying. He wanted to stop being like this but it was his personality. And then being the only introvert in the group didn't help his feeling of being ostracized either. Despite the member's negative feelings towards him, he still loved and adored all of them. He never spoke badly about any of the members, he was always respectful, and he did as he was told. He even did whatever Jeongin asked despite him being the youngest member. He did whatever he could to get on their good sides, but nothing ever worked. He was always the odd one out, he was always yelled at for the simplest things, he was always pushed away and hurt by everyone around him. And even though it hurt, he hid his feelings and kept a smile. He kept up his bubbly personality, scared that if he changed the members would say something about it and only hate him more. He just wanted to be tolerated at least, but the members couldn't even give him that much.
"Jisung! Have you finished the recording yet?" Chan asked as he walked out of his recording studio.
"Huh-?" He asked, having spaced out a little.
"God, you never pay attention. Get it together. Did you finish the recording or not?" He said, his tone annoyed and cold.
"Oh...I'm almost done. I was going to finish it when you and Changbin hyung finished up in the studio. I know you don't like me there bothering you," He answered, fumbling with his hands as he spoke.
"Whatever. Just get it done soon. We'll be out in a minute then you and your annoying ass can finish what we've been waiting on for a week now," Chan said before disappearing back into the studio.
Jisung sighed a little and slumped down onto the sofa. He closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths. He tried so hard to put up with everything but it was difficult. He often cried himself to sleep, and as the days passed he grew quieter and quieter. At this point, he didn't even eat with the other members. He woke up after everyone was asleep and ate then. He was getting skinner and skinner by the day because he ate so little. He didn't have much of an appetite considering the harsh things that were said about him. He was losing sleep, he wasn't eating enough, and his motivation for everything was gone.
His head snapped up when he felt a slap on his shoulder. He flinched and looked behind him. "Chan hyung-"
"Yeah, go get that recording done before you ruin our schedules with how behind you are," The older said before walking back to his room.
Jisung caught a slight cold glance from Changbin before the older man walked into his own room. He quickly made his way into the studio and shut the door behind him. He sighed and flopped onto the chair, his head falling onto the back of it.
"Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry-" he muttered over and over to himself. He slapped his face a few times and shook his head. "Let's just finish this before hyungs get mad..."
He stayed in the studio for hours perfecting the song he had been working on, and finally at around 12 am he had finished. Bangchan and Changbin were still awake and making themselves a snack in the kitchen. When he walked out of the studio he tried to go unseen but of course, the two spotted him before he could make it to his room.
"What the hell are you doing up?" Bangchan asked, frowning at him.
"Oh- I was finishing up the song. I just wanted to make it perfect so it took a while, you know. Sorry, I was just heading to my room," He answered, trying to retreat back to his room.
"I bet it still sucks...did you send it to us so we can fix all of the stupid mistakes you made?" Changbin asked him.
"Y-yeah...I sent it as soon as I finished..." He muttered, his voice quieter than before and he was on the verge of tears. "I'm gonna head to bed. Goodnight, hyungs," He said and soon dashed back to his bedroom and locked the door behind him.
He changed into his pajamas and crawled into bed, curling up into a ball and closing his eyes. As soon as he did, he was sobbing. He cried into his pillow to make sure no one heard. He was so ready to be done with the whole idol thing. It was stressful and the people he had to deal with every day for the rest of his career hated him. He would always be associated with Stray Kids, and he hated that. He didn't want to be associated with the people who couldn't stand the sight of him. All he wanted was to be liked. Not even that, he wanted to be tolerated. He wanted to be able to walk around the dorm without having to fear being spotted by another member. He wanted to feel safe in the place he lived. However, he knew the likes of that were little to nothing. He eventually cried so much he tired himself out, and he drifted off to sleep
YOU ARE READING
Just a Little Kindness || JiLix slow burn
Fanfiction"if all I can do to make up for it is be there, then to make up for it all, i'll give you just a little kindness." Han Jisung is a member of Stray Kids, Stays everywhere thinking he is loved and cherished by all the members. but is that really true...
