The Heart of Fear

IX

C h a p t e r N i n e
of"The Heart of Fear":

"Lexie, how are you?" Adam's smooth voice filled my ears as he came closer.

"I'm okay." The truth was that I wasn't okay. Not at all. And it was something that Adam seemed to know, too.

"Stop lying, Lexie." Adam's tone was hard, and I bit my lip nervously. I wanted to tell Adam, but I was also embarassed of my feelings.

"Adam, it's nothing." He sighed.

"Lexie, you know you can tell me anything, right? I promise I'll listen to every word you have to say." I sighed, I couldn't keep things from Adam, I didn't like it.

"I'm afraid." My answer was simple, but it held a lot of inner meanings and thoughts that only I knew of.

"What are you afraid of?" Adam's question was as simple as my earlier answer, yet I didn't know what to say. It was so many things that scared me, and I didn't know how to tell Adam without making him confused. How can I make him understand?

"I'm afraid of how much you'll mean to me, I'm afraid of letting you come too close. I'm afraid that you'll leave me. I'm afraid that I will be l-... I'm afraid of everything." Adam nodded slowly, his mind trying to process the words I had just spoken.

"Lexie, I understand that you are afraid, but I won't hurt you. I know that you've been alone for a very long time, and that you're afraid of letting new people in too close, but I'm not here to do anything else but love you." I felt as if the air within my chest was making it explode. Love you, love you, love you.

"Adam..." Adam shook his head.

"I know that this will sound strange, especially after you just told me how you're afraid of how much I mean to you, but I am not afraid of how much you mean to me. And I am not afraid of saying it out loud, either. You are my world. My everything. My life is alla bout seeing you, touching you, being with you. My purpose is to make you happy, just the way the sight of you make my heart scream of hapiness." Adam stopped to caress my cheek, onto which I felt how my tears fell.

"I love you. I love you more than the moon and the sun, the stars and the sea, I love you more than you will ever be able to imagine, and I understand if you don't love me yet. But I know that you will love me, I promise you that. And I will love you the same way I know you'll love me; with my hart and sould and mind and act. I will love you with my whole self, and one day, you'll be sure enough to love me with the whole of you, too." I smiled. Adam was right. If not today, if not tomorrow, then the day after that. I will love him the wat he loves me, because I know that Adam is the only one for me, the only one who really matters.