The Heart of Fear

III

C h a p t e r T h r e e
of "The Heart of Fear":

For one and a half week, I had been helping Adam with his Biology. We met at the library every day after school, and I thought that Adam was starting to make some great changes with his grades.

Why he hadn't been working from the very beginning was something I did not know - Adam was intelligent, and he didn't seem to have any problems with the assignments at all. Maybe he just didn't want to, or maybe some of his friends didn't want him to, I thought.

It was now Wednesday, and I was on my way home after studying with Adam. I was feeling unusually happy, but I did not know why.

After getting inside my house, untying my shoes and taking my jacket off, I laid my backpack on the counter in the kitchen. I grabbed an apple to eat as I turned my head towards the fridge, where my eyes focused on a piece of white paper on the otherwise grey machine.

I snatched the paper off of the fridge, the sight of my mother's writing making me slightly nervous. Her writing was petite, but not as neat as usually, indicating the stress she probably felt while writing.

Dear,
Seeing as you're not home at the moment, I thought that I should leave a message for you.
My shift starts at five o'clock, but I need to get a present for your grandma, and I am leaving a bit earlier therefore.
There is leftovers in the fridge, and if you don't want to eat it - you can always cook your own food.
Kisses
- Mother

I was shocked, my mother hadn't left a message like this for me in years. Maybe she was changing after all; both the letter and the previous encounter with her almost coming late to her job because of a conversation with me, where proof that the change of place might have had some side-effects on my mother. Good side-effects, for the part of the bond between us.

While thinking about all of my mother and I's ignorant problems, and how much I needed so study for the mathematical test I had on Friday, I was walking towards the counter in the kitchen. When I came closer, something on the counter catched my eye briefly, and I walked faster to see what it was that laid on the smooth surface.

It was a pile of papers. My mother's papers. The papers she needed while working in the hospital. I turned my head around to catch a glimpse of the clock. 16:30. My mother's shift started in half an hour, I would make it in time if I hurried.

I knew that even if my mother would be angry if I came to the hospital without her consent - there wasn't any other solution.

She needed those papers, and I knew that her life was stressful enough as it was, and her work decided the destiny of other people's lives. She didn't have the time nor the opportunity to leave her work to get the papers, that would be risking too much. Risking too many people.

Stuffing the papers down my backpack, I threw it over my shoulder as I ran towards the closest busstation. Jumping onto the first bus that came in sight, I made my way to the hospital, hoping that I would be there in time.

○

The bus stopped fifty meters from the hospital, and I ran towards the white building. 16:57. Just in time.

As I stopped at the reception, I gave the papers to the lady behind the desk, begging her to give them to my mother. As I laid the papers down on the grey surface of the desk, I heard how something landed on the floor with a thud.