Karna: the lost prince

The Tale Continues

"I got married to your father and started a new life. But the thought of my first child never left my mind nor my heart.
But as soon as we got married your father went on a war to madra kingdom and came back with madri and later because of the curse on your father put on by maharishi kidam ,he decided to forgo the kingdom and go live in forest to atone for his mistakes.
Me and Madri also went with him , I knew that because of the curse ,we could never have children by the natural way ,and I already had a son, if I told your father about him and he accepted that child,he would be called son of Pandu and would belong to the kuru vans.
But again doubt griped my heart and I became so delirious in fear of society and people that I didn't told your father anything.
Then a news reached to us that maharani Gandhari was pregnant for two years and had give birth yet, this devastated your father because he thought that kuru vans might not have any heir, I could not see that look on his face ,so ,I told him about my boon and was about to tell him about karna ,when he told me that we would be evoking Dharmraj yamaraj first to get a son from him,he was very happy ,so I kept my silence.
In next five years you five brothers were born.
One day I was thinking about karna...my karna ,when your father saw me crying and wanted to know the reason,he was so adamant that I tell him what was bothering me or he would think that I was crying because of him.
So , I told him everything that I just told you guys.
He was angry at me but also understood my position as women in the society.
So, he told me that he would give me another chance and also accepted karna as his eldest son.
He was sad that I had not told him all of this earlier ,and he had missed eight years of his sons childhood.
He asked me how karna looked and how was he as an infant and would many times wonder about him.
Even though he had never met him ,he loved karna very much.
He also wrote a letter to Vidur and Mahamahim ,and they came to meet us, you guys must remember it ,first time meeting your pitamah and uncle.
They also accepted karna as their grandson and nephew respectively.
It was decided that no one else would know this truth apart from me ,your father,Madri,Vidur and Mahamahim for now, because it would not only put my honour at stake but also put eight years old karna in danger.
Mahamahim and Vidur. Promised me and your father to search for your elder brother in secret and when they will find him, he would be presented to the world as a Pandu Putra ,whose birth was kept secret to protect him from enemies as he was the eldest kuru prince and heir to the throne.
I was very hopeful after that ,I believed that soon I would be able to see my son and our family would be complete.
But alas ,destiny had played with me once again, your father and mata Madri died an untimely death and we had to go back to Hastinapur, even after searching high and low Mahamahim was not able to find and signs of karna.
And then Bheem was poisoned,you all were sant to Gurukul ,I had to go and live in Kuntibhoj, we met during kalapradarshan again, you fought your first war , Yudhisthira became Yuvraj and enemies tried to burn us alive.
All this was happening in our lives but the search for your elder brother never stopped but to no avail, it seems like he is hidden from me,like the gods are punishing me for abandoning him and though a mother's heart is unable to accept the unthinkable ,but there is also a possibility that we will never ever be able to find him.....may be he is lost forever to us...to me ."

Kunti broke down at this point , crying prefusely and waiting for her sons to curse her or punish her.

No one said anything for quite sometime and it was Arjun ,who broke the silence.
At this point all family members were crying and had red and puffy eyes.

"Mata , how could you be so cruel to abandon a new born baby in a river , did you not worried for his life? "

"Yes, even if you were worried about the society and your father's reputation, you could have sent that child to an orphanage or give him to a childless couple, you could have arranged something in secrecy." Said Nakul.

"You had a boon ,mata but by hiding it you have converted it into a curse...not only for yourself but for all of us also." Said yudhisthira.

"I can't even look at you right now,mata. My mind is going wild now thinking how much the child must have had to suffer and what could be the reason that noone was able to find him even today despite him having these divine kundal ,which can not be kept hidden." Shouted Bheem.

"Even, if we try to understand your first mistake as a teenager, and can't understand why you never told father about it ,if he had not forced you to tell the truth that day, you would have kept silent even until today."said sahadeva.

"I will not even try to justify my actions as I know I deserve all the disrespect and even punishment from you all ,I am just thankful to be able to get this weight off of my heart and that atleast you five are safe." Said Kunti.
"Come on, we are going back to Hastinapur." Said Arjun.

"No, no...you are not going back back there,you cannot ,I will not allow it." Pleaded Kunti hysterical.

"Mata, I want to go and search for my elder brother...we all do. And you have no right to stop us anymore." Replied Bheem.

"What makes you think that you would be able to find him ,when Mahamahim was not successful even after searching for so many years?" Asked kunti.

"May be we will find him or may be we will not but it is our duty to try and give him the love , respect and position that he deserves." Replied yudhisthira.

"Let us go ,mata." Said sahadeva.

"No, I forbide you from going back to Hastinapur and that's my order.you can behave in any manner as you want with me but I will not let you go back in harm's way anymore."

Before anyone else could argue , they heard a rustling noise from the nearby bushes.