twelve

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"Isn't it ironic how we tell others to stay strong, yet we can't do it ourselves?"

"Isn't it ironic how we tell others to stay strong, yet we can't do it ourselves?"

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***

We walked into a house, and I saw poor, beaten Rick. Something then came to my mind. The last time I saw him, he was looking for Rick and Judith, but now I only saw one of the two people.

"C-Carl. Where's Judy?" I quietly asked, afraid of his answer.

He just stayed silent and didn't move his gaze from the ground.

I placed a shaky hand over my mouth to cover the gasp I was anticipating to come out. Judith was so well protected and loved, and I didn't understand how someone would've let it happen.

He angrily stormed upstairs, leaving me to mourn. I cried for the loss of the innocent baby. She didn't deserve any of this, and now there was nothing we could do.

***

For the first time in a few days, I woke up well-rested. I could hear Carl talking from downstairs. He just walked in the house, and I was guessing he must've been on a run.

"I killed three walkers. They were at the door. They were gonna get in, but I lured them away. I killed them. I saved you! I didn't forget while you had us playing farmer. I still know how to survive."

I walked downstairs and put my hand on his shoulder.

"That's enough," I sternly told him. He shook my hand off and continued talking.

"Lucky for us. I don't need you anymore. I don't need you to protect me anymore."

"Carl. Drop it," I said, a little more firm. He turned and glared at me.

"You probably couldn't even protect me anyway. You couldn't even protect Judith! You couldn't protect Hershel, or Glenn, or Maggie, Michonne, Skylar, Daryl. Or mom."

I couldn't believe what he was saying. He was hurting, but this was no way to react. He shrugged my hand off his shoulder, and I took a step back, not quite sure how to respond.

"You just wanted to plant vegetables. You just wanted to hide. He knew where we were, and you didn't care!"

"Please!" I screamed at him, and he didn't even flinch.

"You just hid behind those fences and waited. They're all gone now. Because of you! They counted on you! You were their leader!" He sat down and sniffled.

"But now...you're nothing. I'd be fine if you died."

He stormed off as I sat down in defeat, and at that moment, I almost wish Carl hadn't saved me.

I stood up after calming myself down and wiped my tears. Rick was in horrible condition, and Carl was a mess, as was I.

The least I could do was try to help Rick. I got water from a pond and boiled it. When it cooled down, I undressed Rick leaving him in his boxers (not in a sexual way). I cleaned his body with some soap I found and got him new clothes. I found a first aid kit and started to work on Rick.

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