I am Not Meant for Him

625 40 18
                                    

We met the first time at Summer Camp. The best Summer I ever had because I found him at the right time and at the right moment.

If it was not for my bestfriend, Doyoung, who encouraged me to join that stupid Summer Camp, and if it was not him who were in charge to share the milk to the campers, he and I would not met. He and I would not love each other like now. Even though we were in the same campus, we study in different major as well as belong to a different faculty.

Kim Junkyu, his name is even cute? Isn't it? Just like his personality and the way he pouts when something is not going like the way he wanted. For example, when our date was cancelled due to the consultation for his thesis since both of us are now in the end of our study.

"Ruto-ya" he said as he played with my fingers, leaning his head on my shoulders.

"Hm" I answered him while inhaling deeply on top of his head. I could tell that he just washed his hair this morning because I can smell the fresh scent of his shampoo that we bought together last week. He is a clean freak anyway, ever since I dated him, I showered like almost three times a day, just like having a meal. Also, he cut my nails if he sees them long. It feels that I already have a wife who would remind me to take shower or to cut my nails.

"I'm sorry. We can't have our date today." He puts his chin on top of my arms which he leaned on before, pouting as he gave me his glossy cat-like eyes. If we were not at the campus park, I would have kissed that pout away but thank God I still have my senses with me. Instead, I pinched his nose which made him pouts more. He is the cutest.

"That's ok." I responded.

"Ok? That's it? I knew it. I'm the only one who is looking forward to this date. You didn't even get mad or anything." Junkyu pulled his hand away from me, crossing his arms and facing his back on me. I persuaded him that we can have a date tomorrow and finally he agreed.

The time went by, we graduated together but it was an online graduation because of the government rules where we still needed to avoid to be gathered in a place with a lot of people. He graduated online in his hometown, Chungju while I graduated online in the city where we study, Seoul. I sent him a bucket of flower at his home at the graduation day and received a phone call saying thank you from him.

I have planned everything in my head that we will be in the same city to continue our study again, our master's degree. Not until he messaged me to meet him in two days. It was not like him, his tone in his message were serious because when he usually messaged me, there will be emoticons or any kind of cute things followed, but this time, he messaged the way I usually do.

The news hits me like a thunder storm in the day light. My ears ringing, he kept on talking and crying but I did not hear a thing. My mind went blank, it was nothing like I expected. I am not ready to lose him. No, I will never be ready.

He was set up to a marriage by a best friend of his mom. His parents agreed, although he said that he did not want to be in this situation but as a good son, he tried to always be in the good terms with his parents.

I get my senses back when he bawled his eyes out on my shoulders.

"It's ok, we'll figure out something." I said as I started to soothe him, rubbing his back. I need to be strong here so that he can get the positive vibes from me, although my heart has crushed to the deepest. I clenched my jaw, trying to hold everything in, the anger, the frustration, the vulnerability, and all the emotions that I have in me.

"Y-Yes." He replied, nearly choking on a sob. I can feel his tears trickled down on to my shoulder while rubbing the back of his head and by other hand was on his back.

Harukyus' Oneshots [HARUKYU]Where stories live. Discover now