I wasn't enough.

Chapter 21

I wake up shivering on the bathroom floor. I push myself up off the ground and feel a sharp pain shoot up my left arm. I look down and realize the source of my pain was the stupid cut I did moments earlier. Great greif fills me and I try hard to hold back a sob. I don't deserve the pleasure of crying when I purposely inflicted pain on myself. 

Finally standing up, with the help of the bathtub. I wipe myself down and stumble out of the bathroom. My back aches and my head throbs due to sleeping on the hard bathroom floor.

I traipse downstairs towards the kitchen, with slow long steps. My eyes flicker towards a window and I notice it's dark out. When I reach the kitchen I turn the light switch on and look at the microwave clock which it reads 6:23pm. One does wonder how long I was up there.

Aslo where David is in all of this. I know I forced him out of the house, but I need human contact. More specifically him. I still care about him with all my heart and I don't think I could ever stop loving him. But what he did to me hurt like hell and I was just mad at him. 

Should I call him? 

I ponder on this thought for a while and decide that if the truly cared for me he'd show up or call. 

Looking around, I realize the real reason I came into the kitchen in the first place. Walking over to the pantry I reach up to the top shelf and grab some pain killers. I down them along with a glass of water and then turn on the jug. A hot chamomile tea would do me great. 

I stare the boiling jug, my mind off in La La Land when the click of it gives me a major fright. More than I'd care to admit. I walk over to the cupboard and grab my favorite mug. I place it on the bench and fill it with the contents needed to make this piquant tea. 

I grab my mug and walk around the house closing all of the curtains, minus the upstairs ones. When all of this is done I retreat into the lounge room. I sit down on the couch with my knees pulled to my chest and my hot tea clasped between both hands. I take a sip and the warmth fills my body. 

I place my mug on the coffee table and reach for the couch throw. I clutch onto the little fluffy blanket for a few seconds and then cover my whole body. I indulge in the great warmth this blanket has provided me with and rest my head on the top of the couch. 

Loud knocking interrupts me from this great feeling and I get up out of my warm cove and angrily stomp over to the front door. Swinging the door open, I hold back the urge to bite the head off the person who just pissed me off. He stands there. His features on his face soft. He offers me a small smile to which I return and clears his throat.

        "You have a haircut. It looks really good, Do you mind if I come in?" He asks in a tone so nicely that I just want to melt

        "Thanks Jerry and sure you can" I smile. What on earth is he doing here though?

I slowly turn but before I start to walk off Jerry grabs my hand. My LEFT hand, go figure.

       "Lucy... What happened?" Jerry asks, voice full of complete an utter concern

I turn back around anď pull my arm to my side. Feeling ashamed of the stupid human being I am.

        "I...It's nothing really. It's just a cut" I reply with a shaky voice

        "Okay. It is cleary not nothing. Did David do this to you?" He says, eyebrows furrowed

        "No. He would never hurt me!" well not physically. I reply, my heart feeling heavy

        "Well what happened then?" 

        "I'd rather not talk about it right now okay? Please Jerry just leave it alone" I beg. I really do not want to get in the details of what I've done.

        "Fine, I'll leave it. But am I still free to come in?"

        "Of course you are. Actually I'm glad your here" I say without registering what i'd just said in my mind

        "Really? Why's that?" He replies while following my into the lounge

        "Oh, I just was feeling a little lonely I guess. David's at work so I'm here by myself" I lied.

        "Oh okay. Well I'm glad that I could be here for you" He smiles.

To be honest I'm happy he's here but I really wish he was David. I crave a long, warm hug from the one person I know that gives the best hugs. Where is he when I need him? I fear he's never coming back as I had told him previously. Stupid move. I am so stupid. 

A/N

WHAT IS UP? I hope you all enjoyed this chapter I know it was more of a filler but I tried to make it as interesting as I could :) my next chapter will be better. Again I am so sorry for the slow update but I am hoping to be updating faster in the next 2 weeks.

Again thank you all for reading! And I hope you continue. Comment, Vote and Share! It means a lot

Until next time xx

OH MY GOSH GUYS I TRIED TO UPLOAD THIS CHAPTER AND IT OVER WROTE CHAPTER 20 I CAN'T RECOVER IT OH MY GOSH!