I wasn't enough.

Chapter 18

"I'll close my eyes, then I won't see. The love you don't feel, when you're holding me." - I can't make you love me - Bon Iver

Lucy's POV

It feels like someone has thrown chlorine into my eyes, leaving a feirce burning sensation. I just want to dig a hole and bury myself in it. I don't want to see anyone or hear from anyone. I want to be alone.

David is a despicable human being who should not be allowed to walk on this earth. I hate him so much! How could he do this? But I hate myself even more for letting myself be fooled by him. I hate how much I love him. No matter what he does I will always love him. And I guess that's what it all comes down to right? Love.

He must love Emily so much that he would sneak around behind his own wife's back to be with her!

A ringing sound cut off my thoughts. I opened my eyes and a few tears fell out. Wiping them away I picked up my phone and answered

"Uh, Hello?" I croaked

"Hey Luce, it's Amber! Are you okay?" Amber replied wearily

"Um, I'd rather not talk about it" I spoke softly, waiting for her reply

"I'll be over in an hour with ice cream and chocolate okay? You don't have to go whatever it is your going through alone Luce. I'm here and will always be. See you soon love you"

"Yeah okay, love you too" I replied smiling into the phone.

As much as I wanted to be alone right now, I could really use the ice cream and chocolate. Plus Amber is great to talk to, when I eventually get the courage to talk to her about what happened. I hope I don't turn into a blubbering mess.

*1 hour later*

"Hey Luce!" Amber says excitedly whilst bringing me into a tight warm embrace.

"Hey Ambs" I reply with a half smile

"So here's the ice cream and chocolate. But I also bought some classic romance movies because you used to love watching them when you were sad" Amber genuinely cared for me, you could hear it in the way she spoke and the expression her eyes held. But right now I don't think I'm up to watching romance movies, I mean I don't want to watch something that shows exactly what I don't have. Maybe once upon a time I used to have a relationship like the ones in the movies, even if it was only for a little while. "Thanks Ambs, but I don't think I want to watch anything to do with romance" I watched her intently after I finished my sentence.

At first she was shocked but then worry etched across her face and she soon became frantic. Running to the kitchen and placing everything on the counter she quickly scurried back to me and wrapped me in her arms. She rubbed my back up and down, when finally I gave in and hugged back. Tears started to roll down my cheeks and my nose became runny, I sniffled a bit and wipe my face trying to hold back to rain storm forcing itself out of my eyes. Amber let go of me and we walked to the kitchen in silence. Amber grabbed the ice cream along with two spoons and sat down at the counter next to me. She placed a spoon in my hand and open the ice cream tub, she looked at me signaling to eat first to which I abliged. The taste was sensational, chocolate ice cream with caramel swirls yes please! It was like heaven in my mouth, if that was possible. I couldn't contain my delight so I let out a great sigh which Amber smiled at. Shortly after she dug into the ice cream as well letting out a sigh too, "this is delicious!" She exclaimed I giggled a little and continued to eat.

About an hour later Amber and I had moved from the kitchen to the lounge room and were sitting on the couch with a huge warm blanket and the chocolate between us. I decided I did want to watch a movie so Amber put The Notebook on, I loved this movie so much I think I could recite all the lines of the movie. The movie ended and both Amber and I were wiping tears from our eyes, we looked at each other and started laughing. I really need to be happy right now but my heart still hurts so I couldn't or wouldn't be happy. As much as I wanted to be happy I just couldn't. "So are you ready to talk about it?" Amber asked cautiously, I slowly nodded my head and drew in a deep breath "David's been cheating on me" I felt sadness cover me like a thick blanket.

Amber was overcome with shock, anger and sympathy. All three of these emotions she had displayed on her face. I gave her a small smile and looked down at my hands. Focusing on my nails so hard just to stop me from crying. I've shed enough tears on him for one day. Hell I think I've shed enough for a whole year.

She placed her hand on my shoulder and rubbed softly "Lucy. David is an asshole. He's just a stupid prick to throw away such a beautiful flower" Amber spoke in a sympathetic tone "he obviously is fucked in the head if he thinks cheating on you was a good idea. I mean who the hell does he think he is? Some God who gets to do what he wants? I don't think so. He doesn't deserve you Luce" Ambers eyes were inflamed with anger as she spoke.

I could tell she cared about me a lot and I loved her so much for that but he speaking like this isn't going to help my situation. I mean is he fucked in the head? Hell yes! Does he deserve me? Fuck no. Am I going to continue to cry over him? Probably. Did he ever love me? Probably not. Will I ever let go of him? Eventually. Is he even thinking about me right now? No he's probably fucking Emily as we speak. But all I need right now is someone I can pour my heart out to. "Thanks Ambs" is all I could muster up without bursting into tears. I know crying over someone so much is pathetic but what if you thought they were you life long soul mate. You're one and only. The one you'd drop everything to be with. The one you thought love you back as much as you loved them. Possibly more. I'm 100% positive you'd feel the same. "No problem hun. He's not worth your tears okay? Just be strong and know that I love you" Amber said as she placed a kiss on my head "I love you too" I smiled "I'm so sorry love. But I have to go now so call me later and maybe I'll bring the kids around for dinner?" "Sure" and with that she'd left.

It was good to have her here but it's even better now she's gone. A big weight was lifted off of my chest when I told her and right now I was feeling semi okay. I know I'll have to face him eventually and I don't know how it'll go but I'll think about that when that time comes.

Whoop whoop! Another chapter! Hope you guys enjoyed this and I hope to have another one within the next week or so.

I apologize if there are any spelling mistakes but I did go through it a few times so there shouldn't be any.

But I would really love it if you went and checked out Mailboy by foreversmilin because it is a really great book. There are a few grammar issues but it's fine you'll get over it because the book is just so good!

Love you guys and thanks for reading xoxo

P.S you should all go and watch Leroy Sanchez' cover of I can't make you love me it's honestly so good. Unless you don't like trills.