when harry met harry

494 21 16
                                    

"Maybe the journey isn't so much about becoming anything. Maybe its about unbecoming everything that isn't
really you, so you can be who you were meant to be in the first place."
- unknown
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Barry and Ralph stood at the counter of CC Jitters, getting their coffee as Barry paid. "Owe you for the java, rookie. Can't believe I left my wallet at home," Ralph said as he picked up his cup.

"Don't worry about it. It could happen to anyone...five times in a row," Barry said before he and Ralph turned towards the door. "And could you please stop calling me rookie?"

"Sorry, uh old habit from when I was your superior officer. You know, before you got me fired, ruined my career destroyed my life," Ralph said as they walked out of the shop. "Crushed my spirit, left me alone — without a friend in the world."

"Don't forget how I turned you into an amorphous, stretchy blob," Barry said.

"Actually, that's the one good things you've done for me," Ralph said and Barry nodded annoyed. "Course, you didn't do it on purpose, so you don't get credit."

"Both of you, hand over your cash, now!"

The two looked back to see a desperate man behind him, holding a gun at them. But Barry started smiling to himself, pointing at him. "Hey," he said and the man stared at him oddly. "Uh, pardon us, okay? One second." He and Ralph then turned their backs to him again so they could talk in private. "Okay, this is perfect. I've been teaching you, right? Muggers are like Superhero 101."

"Ooh, Ralphy like-y," Ralph said.

"All right, what's your plan?" Barry asked.

"Okay, I was thinking about this in the shower this morning: How sweet would it be to turn into a giant slingshot?" Ralph asked.

"That's a weird plan, but okay-"

"Oh, I got an even cooler idea-"

"Hey!" The two looked back at the man again, to see he was fed up. "I'm still robbing you guys!"

"We will be right with you, sir! Please!" Ralph yelled before the two turned their backs to him again. "Okay, what if I did, like- a human Slinky thing? Maybe wrap him up, throw in a few on them puns?"

"Whatever, Ralph. We just gotta hurry up a little bit," Barry said.

"Relax, rookie. I've seen a lot of thugs. This guy is no shooter," Ralph said but right then, the man shot Ralph in the back.

Seeing as how Ralph was different than regular people, the bullet stretched through Ralph then popped right out of him, hitting the man in the leg.

When the man screamed out in pain, Barry and Ralph turned back around, Barry in shock, and Ralph smiling. "My leg!"

"Well. Our work here is done," Ralph said before he tried to walk away.

"Hey, hey, what are you doing?" Barry asked pulling him back. "We can't just leave. You just shot him."

"I didn't shoot him. He shot him," Ralph said.

"Well, I-"

"Do you feel like I shot you?" Ralph asked the man, but then he shot at Ralph again.

The bullet stretched through Ralph's hand then shot back at the man in his ass. He screamed more in pain as Barry freaked out. "Stop shooting him!" Barry yelled.

"I am not shooting him!" Ralph yelled back.

"Oh, they shot my ass!"

"Okay, so, he's a little banged up, but we caught the bad guy. Isn't that what superheroes do?" Ralph asked.

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