Incomplete love

Today

'Come on, go home now.' Hobi brought me to my feet and handed me the bag that was thrown away by Jungkook's force. 

'I don't want to.' I mumbled running a hand through my hair, feeling very anxious. 

'You have to explain it to him.' Jimin wound around my shoulders, repeating the line he had so many times before. But I could never muster up the courage.

'Do you want me to come along?' heads turned in surprise to the youngest bringing my scarf from another corner of the room. It was the same man that wanted to beat the shit out of me seconds ago. 'I will help you.' I considered, it could work but it could also backfire, but working sounded good, this way Jin had someone else to vouch for him and it was his favorite baby brother. 

'No Jungkook-ah, you cannot help him this time. This is a very serious issue for their marriage.' Namjoon shook his head, offering his two pieces and bursting the bubble. 

'Namjoon's right. It is a matter for a couple to solve amongst themselves. Hyung will actually throw you out of the house.'  Hobi vouched for Namjoon's words nodding. 'Taehyung-ah, you have to face him, only you can explain it to him the right way.' a heavy hand and an ever-optimistic voice felt like a mountain of responsibility. 

'But Hyung..' I sighed lost in complex thoughts. 

'No, Taehyung-ah. This has to happen.' Namjoon's warning was pert, he meant every word in absolute honesty. 'For the sake of your marriage, unless-' 

'No!' I exclaimed, not loving how the sentence ended. Yes, for them, for his love, I knew Jin the best. That sentence will never end in those words, ever again. I made a promise and swallowed the anxious thoughts before marching down to his car. 

But they resurfaced as the car pulled up to our apartment building. 

'Jin-ah, baby, I'm home.' I said with extra love. But there was no reply. I kept hoping for some divine hope that let Jin not see his phone. But looking at the state of his house now, it seemed less likely.   Usually, at this hour their home would be a flurry of TV blaring and the aroma of food drawling in the air unless Jin was gaming. Hence the eerie silence now was deafening. I repeated the mantra Jimin had taught me a few minutes ago - nothing to fear, it is just Jin, your husband, whom you love, he will understand. Tension swirled in the living room, it was so dark, I could barely see the floor. But there was a shadow sitting on the chair, with stiff shoulders, clenching fists, and his eyes shining in the city lights. I switched on the lights and regretted it the very next second. Fuck Fuck Fuck, he looks super mad, I am so screwed! Unblinking dark eyes focused on me and followed me, dark shadows under the. He had cried alone. His jaw clenched and his nose flared as he gulped hard. He grits his teeth waiting for me.

'Jin, listen-'

'Do you know him?' He asked, irises swirling with something.  I have seen it before, but it was never aimed at me.
'No! Absolutely Not!' I defended, speaking the truth. But he seemed unconvinced. He bang his hands on the armrests and tried to stand up 'He was just someone at the club-' I shuffled forward, instinctively to help him when he wobbled but was stopped by his hand. 

'Did you sleep with him?' he asked, voice crisp as a paper tear. His eyes gave away how hurt he was, staring straight at me. Drowning me in guilt. I was ashamed to look at them anymore. I  would have told Jin. Maybe a few years later. When I would have been prepared to handle how hurt he would be. 

'You did!?' he exclaimed, disbelief laced his voice. Did he expect me to deny it? Shit! I should have said no. But how would that help? He would be angrier to know I am lying as well. Then again, the video only showed me kissing him while we entered the apartment and then played me escaping the next day, in the same clothes.  The speck of dust on the carpet was much more appealing than Jin's blazing eyes. I desperately tried to recollect the words practiced with Namjoon Hyung but kept drawing a blank with my husband's hurt gaze on me. Staying silent wasn't helping, either, I could hear his heartbeat.
'Jin, I was really sad that time. They took me to a bar-no a club- and it was my birthday. I had a few drinks -I was really angry, depressed-' words simply tumbled out of my mouth aimlessly.