𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐃, aleksander morozova 1

Chapter Twenty-Five

I AWOKE THE NEXT MORNING TO MY HEAD POUNDING and, to Genya scolding me. "You smell like a decomposing pig," she tutted. I scowled up at her as I sat myself up against the headboard, feeling the sharp pain in my head. "Is this really what a hangover feels like? My skull feels like it's about to combust."

Genya swatted my hand away from my forehead, "Acting like a baby isn't going to help you feel better," she paused with a smile, "What would do you good is a bath." I snickered up at her, "Ooh please, you're only saying that because I stink."

"And you're not denying it either so... yeah." She gave me a pointed look, "Fine." I said, moving to get up. "Just give me a few seconds to try and compose myself."

Genya left the room a few seconds later as I finally got the urge to get on my feet. I tried to ignore the pounding in my skull as I made my way to the bathroom. I've never had liquor before— not even Vodka but with last night's events and the other Grisha girls persuading me to try it at least once— ended up being maybe ten shots, maybe more, I'd lost count after five.

I spent the next twenty minutes or so scrubbing at my skin in the bath as I had asked Genya if she would wash my hair in place of the maids this morning.

Training was starting back up today, which meant I had to go to Baghra. I hadn't seen her in a couple of days, but we had a conversation long overdue but, it wasn't that I didn't want to go and confront her about the fight; it was because she would probably force me to work harder into being able to create domes and I wasn't that far into my training to know how to do that— let alone strong enough. But I knew I was bound to see her again eventually so I kind of figured that day in age was upon me.

I got dressed and redid myself for the walk to the hut. I had to give myself some counseling before I walked out the double doors of the little palace, but once I was out. The nerves actually seemed to consume me more than ever. Why was I so nervous? It's not like she's going to try and kill me. Or maybe she would— stop it Maira, Aleksander would kill her if she ever dared to lay a hand on you.

I tried to walk as slow as I possibly could, but with each passing second, I seemed to just grow closer and closer to the hut and my nerves never faltered. At this point I wanted nothing more than to beg the saints to make the day speed up. To get this moment and time over with.

✦✧

I walked down the stairs and into the darkly lit room to Baghra who had her back to me, looking down at a note. "Why do you keep coming back?"

I furrowed my brows, "It's not really my choice whether I do come or not," I said calmly. Baghra hummed with her back still to me, I fidgeted with a loose piece of fabric on my kefta as I waited for her to talk.

"You have guts," she sneered after a couple seconds of silence. I furrowed my brows, "What do you mean 'I have guts'?" Baghra sighed and turned to me, "You really don't get it do you?"

I blinked at her, "Baghra, what are you talking about?" She huffed and looked me in the eyes, "You stick so closely to him." She said in a low tone. Was she talking about Aleksander?

I tilted my head at her, "What does Aleksander have to do with this?" I scowled. She looked at me with such hatred when I said his name, as if I had said something rotten. "He's even given you his name," she mumbled.

"But what shocks me most is that he gives you his real name." I shook my head, "What are you even talking about? Please do indulge me." I said voice filled with annoyance. "What makes you so special? So, what you can destroy a shadow fold and a human? It's almost like you two are exactly alike." She stepped closer to me and looked me up and down with a sneer.

"You may be a star summoner girl, but do not forget you can also cause destruction like him. Do not forget your place or you may just end up as bad as he is." Baghra grabbed me by the arm, securing my arm in a tight grasp. "Baghra, let go of me."

I yanked my arm away from her and glared at her, "What's your problem? I didn't come here to get treated like this, I came to officially apologize and train."

"Apologies for what? Yelling at me and telling me I don't know what loss feels like." She snickered. I closed my eyes and took in a deep breath, "Yes,"

"It's not even worth the apology." She said, turning away from me. "Why do you hate me so much?" I asked in exasperation. "I come here to apologize to you, and you can't even except it?"

"You'll understand one of these days." She said after a few seconds in a calm voice. "You can't always trust the people your around, not even the closest to you."

I didn't understand what she was talking about, she wouldn't even tell me no matter how many times I'd ask. "Baghra," I said. "I can't understand what you're implying. Who can I not trust?"

"Anyone." She turned back to me. "Not even yourself. But you still will trust him, won't you?"

"I— he's been so kind to me." I stuttered. "How can I not trust him." Baghra shook her head, "Of course you do, you're not the first girl to have gotten so close to him. What? he says your special and that you are the one he needs?"

I looked at the ground, "Your so naive," she said. "I can't stop you from being with him, but that doesn't mean I can't stop you from letting him take advantage of you."

"He's done too much damage in this world." She mumbled, "I won't allow him to do the same to someone who can stand against him."

"He's too powerful." She went on, "You don't have to believe me now, but when you see something in his demeanor change. Come to me then."

A few minutes of silence fell over us and I thought thoroughly on what Baghra had said to me. What did she mean? He's been with many girls. What does that make me then? Just another girl he's interested in. A sharp pain stabbed me in the chest, my stomach dropped. I felt my limbs go numb and I wanted nothing more than to leave and go back to my room.

No.

Don't believe anything that comes out of her mouth, she's just trying to make me feel weak. "What is wrong with you?" I said coldly. "You don't even know him, he's the kindest and genuine person I've met here. He's treated me with respect, given me a place to sleep. I'm not doing anything against my will. So why must you make up such lies about him?"

Baghra's eyes landed back on me, but they were yet again filled with hatred. "I know him better than anyone in this damn world. I raised him, I'm the one who taught him how to use his powers. I know him like the back of my own hand."

I scoffed, "Ooh really? Then who are you to him?" I said.

"A motherly figure." Was all that came out of her mouth. I blinked at her before going to open my mouth again.

"Bag—" I started, "Sit." She pointed to the chair closest to us. "Enough time talking, it's time to work."

I sighed looking to the chair and then back to her. Her brow was furrowed. I went to open my mouth again, "We are done with this conversation. I've said too much already."

I wanted to ask more questions but knowing Baghra that wasn't going to happen. I huffed, the pain in my chest subsiding.

I nodded my head, "Okay I won't ask anymore."

✧✦

After training ended, I went to the lake. I didn't want to go back to my room because I know if I did Aleksander or Genya would be there, and I didn't really want to be around anyone right now. I thought about everything Baghra said to me. I didn't understand. She spoke as if Aleksander was a bad person. Like he had done so many bad things. I didn't want to believe her, but a small part of me did.

I thought about Baghra telling me that I couldn't trust anyone. What did that mean? What did any of the things she said mean? I wanted answers, and I knew if I wanted them. I would have to get them through Aleksander.

And that's what I would do.

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