The Cruel Side of Hearts [COMPLETED]

Chapter 3: Like a Moth to a Flame

     How can you adore the person who keeps you in the darkest corners of your mind? How can you  sit back and watch, helpless to do anything as you get taunted and ridiculed? 

     I watch and I watch, as Ethel's clear eyes become as dark as onyx. I look at her, and I am instantly reminded of our roles here, who is the predator, and who's the prey. She walks up to me, her perfume reminding me of an ocean breeze. She walks slowly, cautiously, savouring every bit of fear that has begun to bloom in my chest. I move my head away as she pins me down to the pillow. 

     I could feel It stirring. Biting down on my tongue so hard it bleeds I try to clear my thoughts from what begins to cloud over my mind. 

Kiss.

No.

Come closer.

NO.

Destroy.

     I close my eyes , gasping for air as I hear Ethel breathing. She does not know about It, Though I am assuming she has her suspicions. I reach out my hand to slap away her only to fall a few moments short...I fail to  breathe as I remember her tears. As if against my will my hand reaches up to her face and gently caresses her cheek, my fingers searching to brush off the tears that I have once caused. I open up my eyes, seeing shapes and colours as my own eyes  themselves have begun flooding. I feel the tears falling down my cheeks in streams as my chest tightens painfully. My heart is beating fast as the memories flood my mind.

The words.

The anger.

It.

I can feel It stirring, writhing with anticipation. Waiting for the right moment to pounce. I feel Ethel's hand on my neck, holding me down as she looks me in the eyes. My head is spinning. I know she is speaking but I can barely make out the words. The ones that need to reach me come through.

Lost.

Broken. 

Dependant.

I start to shake my head, the pressure of her hand still holding me down.

"Not.....lost..." I say, my voice straining "Just...waiting..."

"Shh" I hear her reply " guilt...no...redemption"

"No!..." 

     She leans closer, her lips just a breath a way from mine. She moves in, every second a torture. I feel her other hand wrap around my head. Her movements are filled with honey, and her words with acid. Releasing the hold on my neck she tightens her free arm around my hair, forcing my head up at an uncomfortable angle, to meet her gaze straight on. I feel her shift her weight as I cough blood up from my bleeding tongue. This seems to delight her, and draw her even nearer to me.

     One...two...three...I don't know how many moments passed but I can feel her lips on mine, drinking the blood inside of my mouth. I taste iron. Feeling lightheaded I try to move her away, but my arm refuses to cooperate. My mind Is screaming while my body is enjoying this entrancing daydream, or perhaps nightmare. I feel my body relax and give into her lullaby. I close my eyes and pretend that I am on a boat, sailing away at sea...slowly...I almost drift away before I feel a sharp prick on my cheek.She's leaning over me, swaying slowly side to side, watered down blood spilling from the sides of her mouth and down the front of her dress. My tongue feels numb. I meet her gaze a yet again

"I.....lost?.....find...me"

Ethel stops moving. She moves her face to level with mine, eyes sparkling dangerously. Her lips brush my ear as I hear her whisper.

"never"

I don't remember what happened afterwards. When I tried to wake up my mind greeted me with It. I felt a cold shiver move its way up my spine when it laid its eyes on me. I am quite puzzled as to how Ethel does not know of its existence yet. After all, she is the person who controls all of the creations in Omen, even if initially I created them. Perhaps it is just too complex of a thought. An entire book full of thoughts that decided to come alive and drown my mind. 

     I wonder how Ethel would react if she knew about it. Would she finally be merciful and help me wither it away? Or would she do anything in her power to make it's presence more suffocating and urgent? As those thoughts circle my mind  I see it standing by my side, coiling its body around mine. 

     Just to clarify- right now is a dream, or a hallucination of sorts. I know that I am awake, but I cannot open my eyes. Once I do I know I will be laying in bed with sunlight on my face. All I can see is what is happening inside my mind...sometimes It can become so urgent that just closing my eyes is enough. I imagine a light, feeling my closed eyelids tickle in the morning sun. I slowly breathe in and calm my pulse. My arms feel numb, and it feels as if someone is holding them too tightly, but as if that someone is a ghost. That someone is It, and I revel in a silent victory as I feel it fade to the back of my mind. A comforting smell of wood hits my nose as I am able to slowly open my eyes. I can see the golden glow cast shadows on the navy blue walls of my room. 

     For the first time in days I feel warm. Not searing hot in anger, or freezing over in fear. Simply warm. I snuggle my cheek to a pillow inhaling a stuffy smell of mint and lavender. Today is a beautiful day in Omen, but its not a time to relax.

    I throw off my blankets and march straight to a mirror, a thing I used to avoid ever since the appearance of It. It takes me a moment but I look at myself, with my dark grey hair and dull hazel eyes meeting my gaze. I smile, feeling my chest swell up with confidence, and march out of the room. I have a task to complete, a goal to accomplish, and a monster to kill.