Yesteryear

How and Why

"As if I would avert my eyes from this. I love him. I deserve the truth."

"I could provide you with the same truth," Seungyoun tried again. His voice broke off when Wooyoung pushed his sickly body off the bed and marched over to the bathroom.

"We're going to the institute in fifteen minutes. Don't you dare bring this up again." The glare Wooyoung gave him was far weaker than Wooyoung had hoped, but it shut Seungyoun up. Troubled, the man was left in Wooyoung's bedroom while Wooyoung took a shower and got dressed in a sweater and some jeans. He shivered despite his hot shower and the warm clothing, but he doubted those shivers would stop soon.

The time he had spent with San wasn't as long as many other relationships. But the meaning those weeks had for the two of them resonated far more profoundly in Wooyoung's heart than any other relationship ever could. Wooyoung wouldn't let go of him easily. His heart would yearn for San for a long time.

When Wooyoung got out of the shower, Seungyoun wordlessly accompanied him to the door. He looked glad to have got Wooyoung moving, even if he hadn't succeeded in his solo mission.

Prague's post-Christmas air was crisp. Snow lined the sidewalks prettily and clung to the roofs and trees. Wooyoung would have loved the shine of the city lights on it if his heart hadn't got carved out of his chest with a dull knife.

As Seungyoun halted their walk next to a bakery, Wooyoung glared at him impatiently.

"You have to eat," Seungyoun appealed to his stomach. Wooyoung hadn't been hungry in four days. Everything he forced into his body, he wanted to throw right back up.

"Leave it and let's just go."

Despite Wooyoung's ignorance, Seungyoun reached into his coat and pulled out his purse.

"Give me a second, I'll be right back." Quickly, he dipped inside the store. From time to time, he glanced through the window to check if Wooyoung was still there. Upset feet kicked at the snow, ruining its perfect blanket.

Seungyoun returned and shoved the bag with delicious pastries against Wooyoung's chest. Some of them were still warm and wafted deliciously. Against his better judgment, he peeked inside the bag. The sight of a raisin roll among a few other of Wooyoung's favourites had his stomach twist.

With trembling lips, Wooyoung cradled the raisin roll that reminded him of Yeosang so much. He could barely eat through the lump in his throat, but he fought through it. Seungyoun's soft smile was worth his struggle.

It had been a while since he had seen Seungyoun smile.

By the time they arrived at the institute, Wooyoung had eaten all of his snacks. Seungyoun stopped bugging him to let him prepare in peace. Tense and uncomfortable, Wooyoung's stiff fingers put on the uniform again.

Should he just run off? Should he just return to Victorian England to spend the rest of his life with San and conveniently destroy his remote? Yongguk would get in huge trouble for this, but maybe being selfish would be worth it.

With a gulp, Wooyoung put in the date he had learnt a few days ago and that he hadn't been able to forget. 16th January 1944. The worst day in history. The day all happiness and hope ended.

Wooyoung needed a moment before he dared step through the door. He knew what awaited him. Trenches, bullets, tanks and the pungent smell of death. As grim as these sounded, however, the imagination of San amidst it was the absolute worst.

Wooyoung exhaled, trying to reassure himself. First, he needed to find San and make sure he didn't get caught in trouble along the way. Out on the battlefield weren't a lot of doors. Wooyoung had to stay vigilant.