One Step Ahead part I | Sirius Black

Chapter 194

Sirius' heart seizes in his chest, his head whipping to peer over his shoulder down the hallway where he'd left her lifeless body.

Dead.

He was certain of it. He was sure.

Dorcas Meadows had been right when she said the world would know if Gwenyth Whitlock had died. He knew. He knew.

He can't feel his body, numbness spreading outwards from the place where his heart used to be. Hands shake his shoulders, fingers gripping tight at his blood covered jumper. Blood. Too much blood. She had to be dead.

"Sirius!" Remus calls, and Sirius hears it, he finally hears something, though he sounds far away. Like he's still underwater, the ocean tugging and pulling at his clothes, seductive promises of rest drawing him deeper.

Then he sucks in a breath, his lungs begin to work, and his head crests through the waves.

"Padfoot, she's alive!" James yells, the sound ringing loudly in Sirius' ears. He turns, stares at James blankly. If Gwen was dead, why was James smiling at him like that? Laughing through tears? James wouldn't do that, not if the world had lost the Veela. Not if she were dead.

Alive.

James was smiling because Gwenyth Whitlock was alive.

James and Remus jump back when Sirius hunches over and vomits in the now deathly quiet hall. The noise, the chaos. It had been him, his screams, his sobs of pain. He had been explosive, desperate, uncontrollable. Chaos. He was chaos without her.

Sirius heaves, clutching at his stomach and shaking his head back and forth. Alive. Alive. Remus quickly mutters a cleaning spell, his eyes nervous as he studies Sirius. James looks just as apprehensive, tempering his own excitement and relief.

"I-I...I cant.."

James' brow furrows in confusion. He'd just been desperate to see her, violently attempting to get to her. And now he could, he could go to her. But his feet won't move, his eyes won't open. If he opened his eyes, he might wake from this dream. A dream where she was okay.

Remus watches with sadness as Sirius' leans his hands on his knees, clearly nauseated and overwhelmed. The werewolf looks up at the sound of the door creaking. And then Sirius feels a hand on his back, the bile rising in his throat retreating when he quickly stands upright and throws his arms around his brother.

Regulus Black is shaking, his face pale and clammy as he tries to hug the happiness back into his older brother. He too tries to forget the image of the Veela on the brink of death. He never will. He's certain of it.

"She's okay?"

Regulus' eyes clench shut at the almost childlike desperation in Sirius' voice. The only thing worse than seeing Gwenyth Whitlock hurt, was listening to his brother's cries of pain. He sucks in a breath and says quietly, "I'm not sure what the healing will be like, I've never seen a curse like it."

Sirius' eyes burn with unshed tears, his chest heaving again when he hears,

"But, yes. Sirius, she's okay. She's alive."

Sirius clutches at Regulus' back, willing himself to never wake from this dream. Willing himself to believe his brother. Regulus was many things, but unlike their cousin, he'd never been deceitful.