One Step Ahead part I | Sirius Black

Chapter 109

{{warning: Mature!!}}

Gwen glances up at the awkward clearing of a throat.

James looks at her and Sirius pointedly, an exasperated look on his face. The Gryffindor table was incredibly tense. Sirius had reverted to his broody version of himself, the one Gwen was used to from before they started dating.

She flips the page of her magazine, smirking slightly when James smiles forcefully and says, "It's snowing. Isn't that nice, Padfoot?"

Sirius doesn't say anything, just stabs his dinner angrily. The poor silverware. James looks at Gwen again, pleading with his eyes. She crinkles her nose at her friend, reluctantly closing her magazine. The Veela reaches for the pumpkin juice, jumping slightly when familiar hands grab it before she can. Sirius wordlessly pours the drink into her cup, setting the jug back down once it's full.

She smiles gratefully and takes the cup from his hand, grabbing his wrist and settling his palm on her knee under the table. His shoulders relax and he slumps into her side, visibly more serene.

He hadn't slept much the night before, worried about Regulus and Gwen and Remus. And pissed. He was pissed that his brother hadn't come to him. Hadn't asked for help or considered the consequences. And a teensy bit irate that Gwen had been reckless in befriending his brother when he was still a recruited death eater.

They didn't know what this meant now. If Regulus still believed in Voldemort's rein, if he still wanted to be a death eater, at least then he would be safe. Sirius was certain that if he defected, left the Dark Lord....he'd be killed.

He hadn't seen his brother or Remus since the full moon two nights before. And it was getting to him, making him nervous. He didn't like feeling this way.

Sirius swallows roughly and whispers, "I'm going to get some air, mon ange."

Gwen looks at him carefully, nodding once. Sirius stands and quickly leaves the great hall before anyone can say anything more. He hesitates once he's outside of the large doors before heading in the direction of the Astronomy tower. He has a cigarette between his lips before he even gets there, patting down the pockets of his robes for his matches.

As soon as the frigid air hits him he lights up, sucking in tobacco like his life depends on it. He clings to the cold rail with one hand, staring out at the dark expanse of the Hogwarts grounds. His eyes lift upwards, subconsciously studying the constellations that decorate the night sky.

"There you are."

He jumps, whipping his head around to see unnerving eyes and blonde hair. He winced as he grunts, "I'm not very good company right now, love."

"That's okay. I'm never good company."

Sirius bristles at her self deprecating comments, but she continues, teasing, "I'm rather honest. Too blunt. Maybe a little too boring."

"Not to me," He says firmly, lips twitching when she smiles. He hesitates before extending his hand out to her, relaxing when she takes it. He pulls her to where he's standing, his eyes mapping her face instead of the stars.

She sighs at the stony look on his face. Brooding, dark. She didn't want him to feel sad. Or she at least wanted him to feel something, not be a shell of himself. She blinks before asking simply,

"What can I do?"

Sirius shrugs, jaw clenching. He tears his eyes from her and takes a puff of his cigarette. He's smoked it nearly down to the filter, but the slight burn against his fingers feels good. It feels deserved. He growls slightly when she plucks his punishment from his grasp and flicks it over the edge of the astronomy tower.

He scowls at her, disgruntled as she says firmly, "Be mad. If you're pissed or sad or scared, just...feel it. Let it out."

"I can't," He croaks, embarrassed by the emotion in his voice. He doesn't know what to feel. And he's reminded of the ball of tangled emotions that used to sit in his chest. Before her, he didn't know how to unravel it. Sometimes he still doesn't.

"Do something," She pleads, "Anything. Be mad."

"I can't," He insists irritably. "Because I'm fucking mad at you too!!"

Her lips twitch and his scowl depends. He was mad at her and she was smiling. He tries to yank his arm free from her grasp but then her grip tightens and she crashes her lips to his, swallowing the shout that threatened to leave his chest.

Sirius sucks in a shaky breath, his hands grabbing at her waist automatically. He groans when her tongue swipes past his lips, teases his own. He pulls her closer despite his anger telling him to push her away.

He mumbles against her sweet lips, his voice raspy to his own ears, "What are you doing?"

"Be mad," She replies, nipping at his lip gently. A sigh of pleasure leaves her when his hands slip lower, grab at her belt. "Be mad at me."

Sirius moans and walks them backwards, slamming her hips up against the wall and pinning her there with his own. Their actions are hurried, desperate. He pushes her blue sweater up over her head, doesn't bother with the buttons of her school shirt, just rips it open.

He's angry, carnal. He sucks the skin above her collarbone in between his teeth and bites down hard, relishing the whine that escapes her lips. Gwen let's him have it, let's him have her. Her skin burns everywhere he touches and she realizes how desperate she is for him, for this.

Her heart melts when he tugs her trousers and knickers off, peels off her shoes. But he leaves her socks, just like the last time they'd found themselves in this position on the astronomy tower. When he sees the soft look she's giving him he presses a kiss to her knee and mutters grumpily, "Don't want your feet to get cold."

She smiles when he stands and moulds his mouth to hers, punishes her with heart wrenching flicks of his tongue and nips from his teeth. She bucks her hips up, moans when she hears his belt clang open and hears the zipper from his trousers. A murmured contraceptive spell and then he's thrusting into her, hard and fast and desperate.

Gwen's head leans back the freezing stone of the tower, her air stollen with each harsh push into her. It stings deliciously, he stretches her wide and leaves no time for her to get used to it. She doesn't want him to. She wants this for him, even more that she wants it for herself.

He thrusts perfectly against her walls, hitting the spot that makes her cry out in pleasure, makes her toes curl and back arch. Sirius groans at the sight of her arousal filled face, kissing her jaw and neck and chest before biting down again, earning another wanton cry from the Veela.

He buries his face in the crook of her neck, laves her bruised skin with his tongue as he mutters, "Je t'aime pour toujours. Sans toi, je ne suis rien." [I love you forever. Without you, I am nothing.]

Gwen whines quietly and pulls his face up to hers, kissing him sweetly. It's slow despite his hurried thrusts, a kiss that she feels from head to toe. She gasps when his fingers brush against her clit, the familiar coil of pleasure in her lower belly tightening until it bursts. She holds onto him tightly, basking in the after shocks and the sounds of him whispering sweet words into her ear as he finishes.

Sirius leans his forehead against hers, panting and wiping away a sheen layer of sweat from her chest with his wandering thumb. Gwen stares at him calmly, her swollen lips quirking upwards as she whispers,

"Better?"

Sirius smirks slightly at her knowing gaze, a chuckle escaping him before he could stop it. His anger has faded and morphed into something warm, comforting. Love. He raked his fingers through her hair, smoothing back the white gold that brushes her shoulders.

Yes. Much better.