One Step Ahead part I | Sirius Black

Chapter 34

The Potters were undeniably lovely people.

But they made her feel ill. So loving, so kind, so encouraging. She was sick to her stomach over it. Gwen hadn't been around anyone that truly resembled a parent for sometime. She'd been passed around to distant relatives and friends until she was old enough to understand how the world really worked. Then she packed up much like Sirius and ran away.

No one came to look for her, not that she truly minded. And she, like many other beings on the ministry's list, just slipped through the cracks. Human, but not human enough to warrant any exertion of care or resources. She didn't mind, didn't miss holidays. Not until she came here.

She feels like she's suffocating without the sounds of the ocean lulling her to sleep. She doesn't look away from the ceiling above her when the door swings open and shuts quietly. She smiles a little when a gruff voice mutters,

"Scoot over."

She does as she's asked, finally looking away from the ceiling to see Sirius Black looking soft from sleep. She lifts up the covers and he crawls under, laying an appropriate distance away from her as they both look at the ceiling now.

"Can't sleep?" He asks the darkness, hearing only the gentle sounds of her breathing. She swallows past the lump in her throat and whispers,

"No."

"It's hard to be here sometimes. Hard to see what you're missing," Sirius murmurs, turning on his side to watch her instead of the motionless ceiling above them.

He was right. She missed her mum.

Her eyes shut tight as the waves in her mind crash harder and harder, pushing her mother's lifeless body across the beach. Gwen didn't know how she could miss the water so much, not when it was so scary now. Her mother hadn't drowned. But turning her over, her wet clothes and hair sticking to Gwen's hands as the tide tried to suck her back out to sea made it seem like the water was at fault.

The gap between her and Sirius closes and something small and cold presses into her hand. She runs her thumb over it, tears threatening her eyes when she realizes what it is. A shell, one he'd brought with him.

She opens her eyes to find him much closer, propped up on one elbow as he hovers over her. He searches her face silently, his brows furrowed with concern when he notes the sadness in her gaze. He wants to take that sadness away, like she did his at the beach.

He sighs and gently pushes her hair back, stunned by how beautiful it looked fanned out across the pillowcase. This feels intimate, far more than friends they realize together. But neither pull away. His fingers move on their own accord, tracing the collar of the tshirt he gave her to wear. It's too big, but she looks good in black he decides.

"Are you charming me?" He wonders honestly. That was the only explanation. The only reason he could find for how much he wanted to exist in tandem with this girl, with her mysteries and secrets and her intuition that kept him on his toes.

She laughs quietly, her eyes lingering on his crooked grin that appears.

"I was about to ask you the same thing," She teases, smiling when a chuckle rumbles deep in his chest. She has things she's curious about too. Like why it's taken her so long to realize that Sirius Black isn't some boy that likes to pick on people and shag girls just because he can. He's constantly seeking out something, and she wants to know what it is.

"Je peux t'embrasser?"
[can I kiss you?]

Gwen reaches up and brushes back his hair with her free hand, sighing as she mutters,

"That's probably not a good idea."

He frowns, his eyes tracing her face. She's right, it was probably a terrible idea. He wasn't sure what the hell they were, where they stood. Because he'd never been a relationship person, too scared to get too close. But then again, neither had she.

"Vous pouvez," She whispers
[you can.]

He grins, looking both smug and disbelieving as he peers down at her open face. She shrugs, because the truth is she wanted to kiss him. She wanted to be close to him. He was magnetic, the most attractive boy she'd ever seen. And wickedly smart and brave. But she wasn't sure where this was going, wasn't sure where she wanted it to go.

They both want to protect their hearts, so when she whispers, "Friends, right?" Sirius isn't offended or mad. He's relieved. Because being friends with her, even if that means they might not kiss again, it gives him more time to figure it out. Himself and her.

Sirius leans in and brushes his lips lightly against hers. Once, twice, and then when her eyes flutter shut he seals his mouth to hers. Gwen sighs before she can stop it, tangling her fingers in his hair. His kiss soothes her soul, drawing out all of the negativity that was clouding her mind.

Sirius groans quietly, grabbing her hand that's holding the shell he'd given her and pushing it above her head. He intertwines their fingers, the souvenir from the beach pressed firmly between their palms. Gwen smiles against his lips, teasingly nipping at them. He squeezes her hand, cheering internally when she parts her lips. He slides his tongue against hers, her free hand coming up to rest on his bare chest above his heart.

He's slow and wicked in his ministrations, his teeth stinging her lip before he gently licks away the burn. It makes her dizzy, light. She feels like she weighs nothing when she kisses him, the heaviness from her heart earlier fading away. She pulls back, sliding her mouth from his cheek to his jaw, tracing a faint line to his ear with her tongue. He's delectable, dominant. He's broody and soft at the same time.

Sirius groans throatily, "Fuck, Gwen."

She laughs quietly, gently biting the lobe of his ear before sucking on the skin below it. She doesn't know what comes over her, what is guiding her. She just knows that she really really likes making Sirius Black moan.

She pulls back, resting her head against the pillows as she teases breathlessly, "I bet you say that to all of the girls."

He smiles wryly, pressing a few hot kisses to her pouty lips before moving to her throat. He parts his lips, growing hard at the sight of her skin glistening after each kiss. He sucks roughly on the hollow of her throat, his eyes nearly crossing when she whispers his name. Gwen moans softly, her senses overwhelmed by his sinful lips and teeth and tongue. And the feeling of his arousal against her leg. He was turned on by her, and it made her insides feel like they were going to explode.

Her skin aches beautifully when he pulls back with a satisfied look on his face, his wide pupils making his charcoal eyes look sexy and dark. Their chests bump into each other as they rise and fall rapidly, Gwen briefly wondering if they weren't here—if they were still in her house on the beach—if she would beg him to continue.

He pecks her lips again and again and then she's laughing quietly, making him smile wide. He lowers their joined hands holding the shell and lays back on the mattress, pulling her into his arms.

"I'll go swimming with you someday. If you want," He whispers, gently running his thumb across the back of her hand.

She smiles slightly and nods, her heart practically in her throat as she whispers,

"Someday."