One Step Ahead part I | Sirius Black

Chapter 174

Sirius is certain that he's dying.

His chest hurts with every breath, his heart feels like a chunk of ice. He can't be living. No one could live like this.

He feels like he's underwater, the ocean tugging at his ankles and sucking him deeper and deeper into the depths of panic. He shakes his head, jumping when he hears loudly,

"Sirius."

He quickly turns and finds Regulus staring at him uncertainly, dirty plates in his hands. He's not sure how long Regulus has been speaking to him. Sirius exhales harshly, trying to gather himself. He'd excused himself from dinner and had yet to return. He didn't realize how long he'd been gone.

Sirius forces a smile, hiding his hands behind his back. He'd been relentlessly picking at his cuticles, his fingertips bloody from anxiety. They all knew. They all knew he was panicking.

James had told his parents about Dolohov as soon as they'd gotten back to their place. Fleamont had immediately apparated to alert Minerva McGonagall in an attempt to somehow contact Gwen and Dumbledore. But there was one rather large problem.

No one knew where they were.

The Headmaster and the Veela were both secretive in nature, especially when they were trying to remain safe. Their location was a mystery to all, even to McGonagall.

Mia had found Sirius the same night if the run in with Dolohov, packing a bag and mumbling to himself. She'd tried to stop him, had grabbed his arm and yelled at him to stop, that he would get himself killed. In the end James, Remus, and Regulus had heard her screaming at Sirius and had to intervene.

"You don't know that she's hurt,"

Sirius blinks at his brother, swallowing past the lump in his throat. He shakes his head, his brain throbbing as he asks, "Why hasn't she written? Why hasn't she used the ring or her patronus?"

"Because she doesn't need to," Regulus offers, his face stony. He'd never seen Sirius this distraught, this angry and volatile and emotional. Even when he'd found out that his little brother was a death eater.

Sirius just looks away, his eyes lingering on the sun setting over the Potter's garden. He hears Regulus set down plates in the sink, silence falling between them for a few moments.

Regulus finally sighs and Sirius listens to some rustling before something appears in front of his eyes. Beads. A bracelet with small wooden beads the color of sand.

Sirius' nose wrinkles and he grunts, "The fuck is that, Reggie?"

"They're from Gwen," He replies, smiling slightly when Sirius instantly reaches out and takes them. Sirius runs his thumbnail over the wood grain, his heart suddenly stirring to life in his chest. He eyes them hopefully, briefly glancing up to ask Regulus, "What do they do?"

His little brother snorts, shaking his head and replying with mirth, "Absolutely nothing."

Sirius' brows furrow in confusion, twisting one of the beads with his thumb and pointer finger. He can't resist asking, "Then why did she give them to you?"

"Because," Regulus answers quietly. "They're muggle beads."

Regulus' throat bobs when Sirius' eyes grow glassy, forcing past the lump in his throat, "She...she wrote to me. After I'd been marked. When she sent me the beads she wrote that muggles have something that we don't."

"What does that mean?" Sirius questions, his voice nearly desperate. He was desperate for a glimpse of her, a glimpse into her mind. Maybe he could help her then, maybe he could do something if he just understood more.

But Regulus just smiled wryly and shrugs, musing, "I haven't figured it out yet. I'm not sure I ever will."

Sirius looks down at the bracelet laying limply in his hand, his heart aching for pale blue eyes and the smell of jasmine. She had to be okay. If Dolohov got to her, Sirius would never forgive himself. He would never recover. And everyone knew it.

He smiles weakly and holds out the beads to Regulus. His brother just smiles and shakes his head, saying firmly, "Keep it."

Sirius looks at him in disbelief, his lips twitching when Regulus chuckles and explains, "I'm loaning them to you. I don't really need them right now anyway. Haven't had a nightmare since—"

He suddenly cuts himself off, cheeks flaming as he realizes he's just nearly said something sappy to his older brother. Sirius chuckles, the first hint of laughter Regulus had heard from him in a week. Sirius can't resist teasing, "No nightmares since you've started shagging Remus?"

"Fuck off," Regulus mutters, rolling his eyes when Sirius ruffles his hair. He doesn't miss that the muggle beads are now resting on Sirius' wrist, deciding against mentioning it. Sirius needed them now, far more than Regulus did. He needed all of Gwenyth Whitlock he could get, and the beads were the only physical thing that Regulus had to offer his brother.

Regulus hesitates before pulling his brother in for a hug, his arms tightening around Sirius despite his awkwardness.

"Uh, Reggie?" Sirius says nervously, his hands hovering over his brother's back. Regulus mutters irritably, "It's a hug, Sirius. Not a sodding stink bomb."

"It's just that we don't ever do this," Sirius replies uncomfortably, his hands coming to gently pat Regulus' back.

"You're sad," Regulus retorts, mumbling, "Fucking idiot."

Sirius softens and he finally hugs him back, squeezing his eyes shut as he whispers, "If she gets hurt—"

"This is Gwenyth we're talking about," Regulus interrupts, smiling slightly at the thought of the Veela. "I doubt anyone could get the best of her. I'm sure she and Dumbledore are watching out for each other. She's going to come home, Sirius. We just have to wait."

Sirius nods numbly, sighing before he separated himself from his brother. Regulus mutters pointedly, "And don't tell Remus about this. His kindness is turning me into a bloody—"

"What's wrong with Remus?"

Regulus jumps, quickly turning to face his boyfriend with pinking cheeks and an irritated expression.

"Must you sneak up on me?" Regulus demands, earning an amused grin from Remus. The werewolf shrugs, teasing, "You're cute when you're scared."

"I am not scared," Regulus scoffs, swatting at Remus' hands as he moves to grab him. Sirius bites back a laugh when his little brother unsuccessfully avoids Remus' long arms, Regulus suddenly tugged into yet another hug.

"Talking about me, Little?" Remus mumbles loud enough for Sirius to hear. Sirius bobs his head up and down, even as Regulus retorts, "As if I would ever talk about you, Lupin."

Remus chuckles and nods, replying simply, "Sure."

Regulus squirms out of his boyfriend's grip, swatting him upside the head and saying firmly, "You can do the dishes."

Remus groans, his head looking back as he pleads to the ceiling, "Please don't make me do this."

Sirius' heart warms when Remus quickly grabs Regulus' hand and pulls him back into the kitchen before he can escape, the two of them laughing as Remus walks them over to the sink.

Sirius can't hear what Remus says to Regulus as they both move to start cleaning the dishes from dinner.

All he knows is he envies the loving look shared between them, and all too easily can he imagine himself and a girl with icy eyes cleaning together instead.

She has to be okay. She has to.

{{I love dragging this out hahahahaa. Okay evil time is over—your suffering shall end soon!}}