Just a Professor?!?

I don't know you

I felt her squeeze my hands a bit tighter I felt a bit better even though she doesn't know anything.

„Better?" I ask after some minutes.

„Yes. Thank you." she nod at me and I smiled back gently.

Before we could exchange any more words the door opened and I turned around seeing doctors and nurses entering.

„Miss visiting time isn't starting until 10 a.m." the nurse informed me and I glanced at the clock seeing it's almost 7 a.m.

„I'm sorry. Aubrey has some test to go through and some head CT's." the doctors informed me and I stepped back getting my things to leave.

„I'm sorry for stepping in so early." I apologize and glanced at Aubrey who looked confused at me.

I was about to say something but I changed my mind letting it slide because it's better for the both of us.

I left without saying anything and I could hold it together until I entered my car. I have never cried this hard about someone. The worst thoughts that's crossed my mind constantly while she was gone came true. She doesn't know me anymore.
It's like she's dead but she's still around. No a part of me died and It looks like I died in her memories because I don't even exist.

How am I supposed to process this. Will she ever remember me? Or is it better if she doesn't because we fell apart. Because of me.

Aubrey POV

Lizzie left out of a sudden letting me be alone with the doctors and nurses. I'm completely confused and I believe that she is someone I should remember. I don't know if I want to remember or if I should let it. Who knows what happened.

„So Are you ready for the tests and CT's?" the nurse asked me who gave me a sketchbook with a pen yesterday.

I nod slightly and she started to help me get up.

„Okay this won't be easy. How about we roll you with a wheelchair first? We can walking later." she offers and I shook my head wanting to try.

„No I'll try. I need to get up sooner or later." I answered and she nod rolling the wheelchair aside.

„Alright. I'll hold you up and we try alright?" she smiled gently at me and I nod once again.

I moved my body from the bed now leaning against the bed with my butt. My legs where shaking and my knees felt weak. I stepped forward but I couldn't hold myself u for long. Before I could tremble and fall the nurse caught me and leaned me back to the bed. She looked at me a bit sad and I only nod knowing what she was about to ask.

She helped me get into the wheelchair without saying anything.

„You shouldn't be so hard on yourself. It's normal to feel weak at first. You haven't moved in weeks and you lost a lot of muscle and weight. But we will get you back on track it just needs time." she encouraged me and I hummed her.

„Yeah. Thank you for helping me." I answered quietly.

„Of course." she added as we moved through the hallway.

The CT's were a bit scary not gonna lie. Laying in this small space was giving me a bit anxiety. I was supposed to not move at all and the sounds around me where really loud and noisy.
After that It was time for breakfast and it wasn't really the best food but who likes hospital meals anyway?

I had a nap after because I was still exhausted and they told me we would try some other tests later.

They asked me a lot about my life and I remembered almost everything. Except for the time before my accident. The most important event I guess. I have some gaps since I think of the last summer night. It's like a person is missing that linked everything with my events and I can't wrap my head around the fact that I think Lizzie is that person? But what was she for me?

A stranger?

A friend?

A lover?

Or just a professor?

I couldn't Figur it out yet but I'm not letting lose on this one. She has to have a meaning in life.
I wish I knew what she meant for me before the accident.

„sweetie hey." my mom entered the room smiling softly at me.

„Hi mom." She gave me a kiss and I leaned back into bed.

„Are you feeling better? Do you need anything? And what did you do with the doctors this morning?" she threw some caring questions at me and I had to process everything for a moment.

„honestly I don't feel better. I can't really move my body since I lost a lot of weight and mostly muscles. The doctors did some CT's on me and other tests but we didn't get any result yet. Other than that I don't need anything thanks."
I answered listing up all the things that happened today.
I let one thing slide and it was Lizzie. I didn't really want my mom to know. I don't know why but I feel like she shouldn't know at first. I want to remember her first so that I know in what situation i am since she is my professor.

„Aubrey how are you feeling today?"
The doctor moved in and asked before I could move on with my conversation.

„My body feels weak and i still can't remember some things other than that I'm fine." I answered the same thing I said to my mom.

„Did you get the results doctor?" my mother asked before I could ask myself.

„We did indeed. It looks like you have short term amnesia." she answered and I had to let it sink in for a moment.

„What does that mean for her? Can we do anything to help?" my mother asked.

„It's difficult. We don't know what she doesn't remember. We would usually let her go into her normal life routine and some things come back by curtain triggers."

„How will I react towards those triggers?" I asked sounding a bit anxious on what's about to come.

„well it depends on what you forgot. You can feel euphoric if it's a good memory you forgot or panic if it's something that your mind wanted to forget. We can't really tell what it will be." she explained and I understood what she meant. This won't be easy for me then.

„Okay. And how about my physical situation?"

I asked referring on the fact that I even feel to weak to walk myself.

„We will train you to everything the way you did before. It will take time. We will release you after some days and after that you need to come to physical therapy." she explained and I couldn't wait till I will be back on my feet normally.

„One thing is that you are not allowed to drive for a couple months." she added and I looked confused why she opened that topic.

„Why?" I asked perplexed.

„We found alcohol in your blood when you got to the hospital after the crash." my eyes grew wide and I didn't remember drinking that much.

„Wait? She did what?" my mother sounded slightly angry.

„Aubrey you where driving your motorcycle drunk. Good thing is that you don't need to give up your driver license and that only because you didn't hurt anyone else except yourself. Which isn't good as well but still. You will have to go to the police station after some months to get back your license." I glanced at my mother who looked a bit angry but mostly worried at me.

„Okay. I'll leave you to it so that you can rest some more." she added and left the two of us behind.

„Sweetie what was going on?" she asks calmly taking my hand.

„You have Never been so rational and careless with your life." she added and pulled back my tears because I can't remember shit.

„I don't know mom. But I hope I will remember so that It will never happen again." I gulped realizing that something messed up must've happened. I never drive drunk not even after a single sip and now I drove into the back of a car drunk?

I know for a fact that this isn't me. Well something or someone must've unleashed this rationale behavior.