Can't Help Falling in Love

61

"I'm sorry," she sobbed. "We're seeing our baby which is a good thing, it really is. I'm so happy that we're pregnant, Derek. We're having a baby, which is amazing. But I can't...I just can't..."

"Can't what?" Derek murmured.

"I can't get the image of her shooting herself out of my head," she sobbed. "She was always so calm and quiet. And the next thing I know, she's holding me hostage in my own classroom, and the way her body just dropped...I don't now that I'll ever get over that."

"I don't think you can," Derek murmured. "You just have to learn to live with it. It will fade. We'll have our baby Eventually you'll be able to get through the day without thinking about it."

"How?" Meredith whispered, tears staining her cheeks as she looked up at him with wide eyes.

"Well, you've got a lot going on," Derek said with a soft smile. "In a couple months we're going to have our house. It's almost done. You know what the painters told me today?"

"What?" she whispered.

"The rooms are done," he murmured. "So the carpeting's going in next week, and then we can start moving in."

"Really?" she whispered.

"Really," Derek promised.

"Will it ever stop hurting?" she whispered.

"Yes," Derek nodded. "And our baby will help that. He or see will be amazing. We're going to watch him or her grow, and pretty soon you'll be worrying about nursery colors and baby names."

"I can't wait," she whispered.

"Me either."

"Thank you," Meredith whispered, leaning her head against his shoulder. "I'm happy about our baby, Derek, I swear I am."

"I know you are," Derek smiled, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. "I am too. It's amazing."

"Is everything okay?" Dr. White asked, poking her head back into the room. "Are we ready to continue?"

"Yes," Derek smiled. "Thank you."

"Alright, Meredith," Dr. White sighed. "I'd say that the conception date was around the 4th, probable due date would be July 5th."

"A fourth of July baby," Derek smiled, squeezing Meredith.

"Hmmm," she nodded.

"I heard that you were at the high school shooting," Dr. White said sympathetically. "I don't see any problems with the baby, and fortunately you weren't physically injured. But I'm noticing that you're understandably emotionally upset."

"I'll be okay," Meredith murmured from her spot in Derek's arms.

"Meredith," Dr. White said. "I'm speaking as your doctor, concerned for your baby, as well as an attending concerned for her resident. You're going to be pretty traumatized by this. And it might be helpful if you went to talk to someone. We have a very effective psychological staff right here at the hospital."

"Derek," Meredith whimpered, curling closer to him. "Can we...home?"

"Sure, Mer," Derek sighed, smiling at Dr. White. "Is there anything else we should know?" he asked.

"I'm going to write you a prescription for some neonatal vitamins," Dr. White sighed. "And I know it might be hard, but this is the name of the head of our psych department. There's not pressure, Meredith, but if you're not taking care of yourself, you're not taking care of your baby. That's my main concern in this situation."

"Thank you," Derek said, taking the offered papers. "We'll make an appointment for a few weeks?"

"Please do," Dr. White smiled. "You'll be able to hear the heartbeat in a few weeks."