Admiral's Honor [ThrawnXReader][Arranged Marriage]

Chapter 20

"You didn't hurt her or anything did you?" you asked Mush'kil, your Noghri guard, who was sitting next to you on the shuttle.

"No youur Highnesss. Meeerlyy siidetracked herrr."

"Perfect. Thank you." you gave him another smile and then took a deep breath trying to relax your shoulders. You weren't lying when you told Lilit that you were nervous. You have gone into every conversation with Thrawn hoping to talk about the impending marriage, and so far he has brushed you off every time. You were pretty sure his reason is at least partly due to concerns about someone overhearing the conversation, but there still was really no way for you to tell if he was also just really against the idea of marrying you. 

Not that either of you had any choice in the matter, you were just anxious to find out if you were doomed to spend the rest of your life married to a man who either didn't like you, or probably best case scenario, could at least be a decent friend. How does a person even go about talking about... this... whatever this is... 

You caught a glimpse of the Chimaera through the shuttle's viewport. Almost there. Of course The conversation probably wouldn't take place right away. As soon as you landed there would be a welcome committee. Thrawn would be there of course, but so would countless other random people. Probably Commander Faro. Possibly several squads of storm troopers. 

If Thrawn truly was as good at reading people as everyone claimed, he would hopefully not have anyone there to greet you, and instead just sort of gloss over the fact that you had arrived. But obviously that's not the way the Empire likes to do things. But upon arrival you were pleasantly surprised to see only Thrawn waiting for you a few steps away from the boarding ramp. The hangar bay was still occupied by the normal personnel running here and there, but they were doing their jobs and mostly ignored Thrawn and whatever it was he was doing. 

"No welcoming committee?" you asked him in place of a greeting as you stepped off the ramp.

"I did not think you would want one." He said simply.  He looked you up and down discreetly without saying anything more. 

"You're right. As, I'm beginning to discover, is usual." you sent him your, by now classic, small smile, that screamed 'I'm super nervous and trying way too hard to hide it from you.' Obviously he could see straight through it, but he didn't need to tell you that. Actually it was probably best that he didn't tell you that. 

He offered you his arm, like always, and when you took it he led you through the maze that was the Chimaera's corridors. You walked in silence for a while and just when you were beginning to think that you should say something Thrawn spoke. "Where is you're handmaid? I had assumed she would be with you."

"Oh-," you said, a bit to quickly, "Uh... She must have gotten lost on the way to the shuttle. When I turned around to look for her she wasn't there. I ended up just leaving without her."

Thrawn looked down at you as you both continued walking. Your eyes met and he narrowed his at you. Your eyes widened and you unconsciously bit the inside of your lip. "...What?" you asked him, looking away, unable to hold the eye contact. 

"You'll have to try harder than that if you plan on lying to me." he said, his voice as smooth and calm as ever. He didn't sound mad, but there was an edge to his voice that you couldn't read. Not that you could read his normal tone of voice either, but at least that was normal. This one was new. 

You blinked, "... I don't know what you mean..." you said it like a statement, but unfortunately it ended up sounding kind of like a question at the same time. Damn you really sucked at this whole lying thing. Your gut was twisting in knots.

"Oh but you do know." It was this moment that Thrawn stopped walking and turned to face you, your hand slipping off his arm when he did. You noticed that the corridor was conveniently empty for as far as you could see. He must have timed this question for when there was no else around. How convenient for him.

"I-" he held up a hand, cutting you off. You tried again, "But I-"

He interrupted you again, his head cocking to the side a bit and an eyebrow raised dangerously. "Do not  lie to me again." his voice still had that edge to it.

You swallowed nervously and tried to meet his eyes again, but still unable to hold his intense gaze. "Okay..." your shoulders sagged in defeat, "-But I did technically tell the truth." you added on. 

Thrawn shifted his weight, placing his hands behind his back, still staring down at you with his red eyes. "Just not the whole truth then?" he said. It sounded like a question but was actually more of a statement. 

"I wasn't trying to lie to you, I just... didn't want to say anything... yet..." you shrugged. You're not sure what to say to Thrawn. You couldn't tell if he was upset or what. He was just so difficult to read! And also kind of scary.

His eyes narrowed just a bit more, scanning your face before straightening. "You do not have to worry about security leaks when you are aboard the Chimaera." he said as his face softened. He turned slightly, and offered you his arm once again, leaving his second hand still behind his back. The pose was very military-esque, and did almost nothing to make him seem less intimidating. He must have figured out why you had hesitated. 

You swallowed down the nerves, noticing suddenly how your mouth had become unusually dry, and placed your hand back in the crook of his elbow. He continued on down the corridor. "My crew is incredibly loyal to me. I have the ship scanned regularly for bugs. And any issues we may have had with personnel being swayed by outside influence has been tempered by the loyalty of the rest of the crew. Any unusual activity is always promptly reported and dealt with." 

"That's good to know I guess." you said politely, if a bit more reserved than you normally would have been. You could feel Thrawn glancing down at you periodically. 

He could tell that he had done something wrong. He could feel you had pulled back. Somehow you had closed yourself off. He kept glancing down at you, trying to figure out what his mistake had been. He replayed the conversation over in his mind, and then he realized the moment that your demeanor had changed. It was when he had stopped walking and turned his body to face yours.

He had only meant it to be a conversation, and that is why he had pulled away to face you head on, but he realizes now how it would have made his words seem much more confrontational. Based on his own body language it had seemed more like he was correcting a subordinate than addressing an equal in a simple conversation. He had come across much more domineering than he had intended to be. This meeting was supposed to help their 'relationship', not hurt it. And how he had addressed that small situation, had somehow scared you. 

That's it! He had scared you. That was normally an easy emotion for him to read on the human species, but you had been trying very hard to hide it. And considering how terrible you had been at lying, it stands to reason that you had considerably more experience in hiding your fear than you had at hiding the truth.

He grimaced and mentally cursed in Cheunh. This would be so much easier with Eli to help him navigate the human spectrum of emotions. He didn't know what had happened to you in your past to make you so easy to scare, but regardless, he endeavored to avoid repeating that mistake.

Author's note: And back again. :) Thrawn screwed up, it was bound to happen, tho honestly it wasn't a huge mistake. But with Thrawn we have to take what we can get ;) 

Love you!!!!! BYE!!!!! <3<3<3<3