Shadow Of The Past (Harry Styles Fanfic)

Chapter Four- "You want me to be honest?"

Chapter Four

The movie dinner had gone okay. It was really quiet and it got a little awkward a few times but neither one of us wanted to break the silence that had taken over, I think even the people around the table Harry and I were sat in felt uncomfortable. Harry had some steak whilst I just a had a simple spaghetti and it was delicious but as much as I loved my food I couldn’t focus on the taste or even on the movie as much as I focused on what just happened with Harry.

In all honesty, yes, I was afraid but I didn’t want it to stop. I hated being with Harry but kind of admired the feeling I got when I was with him at the same time it was just complicated to explain. It's like diving with shakrs kind of, You love the thrill but you're always scared if the cage breaks and something happens to you; You really want to give it ago but you're to afraid to put your heart on the line. 

Harry and I walked around the brightly lit, beautiful streets of London to get to the car but usually he would hold my hand or at least to talk to me, this time, none of that. It felt weird. I wanted Harry to hold my hand. He was usually so lovely and warm towards me but right now it was like he didn’t want to be near me. He really did think I was afraid of him? So afraid to the point he just wanted to get away from me. I told the guy that we weren't a couple, and we weren't but deep down I wanted to be. I wanted to say yes to him, I wanted to be proud to enough to say yes Harry’s my beautiful boyfriend but I couldn’t, it’s not like he even asked me to be his girlfriend all he said was one date and here I was..

... I don’t want a broken heart.

I don’t know where I stand; I don't know where Harry stands. Harry's that guy that just sleeps around and I'm the girl that hates to even go clubbing let alone sleep around, that night with Harry was a first. I didn't want to be one of those girls he would forget about, I didn't want to be another addition to the list. 

'Stop thinking like this!" I thought to myself. 'stop lying to youself. be honest. '

“Harry” I whispered he just stopped in his tracks and turned around to look at me.

I had broken the silence, it was a big leap. The wind blew his curly hair to the side as the lights from the street made him shine like that god I thought he was. How could I be so rude and so mean to someone that was so kind to me. That made me feel this way? A Feeling I couldn’t explain. I feeling that I just wanted again and again and again. “I.. I’m sorry” 

“Sorry for what?” He asked me confused as he he just stood there. 

“You brought me on a date and all I have been doing is acting weird and making you think that I hate you” I admitted.

“At least your honest” He sighed as he just looked down. “Come on, you’re going to get cold and your jackets in the car” Why was he so caring towards me? Did he really care? 

“You want me to be honest?” I spoke as Harry just stood there not knowing what to say. It was usually me who words failed against, guess theres a first time for everything. “Yes or no?” 

“Thats all I want... I just want you to be honest and I’m glad I know now; You don't like  me, thats it, Let me just take you home please. You might hate getting into that car with me but I just want to take you home, just make sure you’re safe” 

Before Harry could say another word I slowly smiled to myself. I had to be honest with myself and I had to be honest with Harry. I couldn’t just keep lying and pretending like deep down that I didn’t like him and that I was scared of him just like he thought. It time to drop this act.Lately I had been so up myself and hearing him say that he wanted to make sure I was safe bursted that bubble that was around me blocking these feelings I was having from coming out. 

I thought I would get hurt, I forgot that if I just spread my wings and just believe that I could really fly away and things might have not been so bad. That maybe even if I did fall, I had someone waiting down there to catch me. I had to take risks and I had to see how things would work out and thats exactly what I was planning on doing. 

I felt my feet carrying me forward at a really fast pace and by Harry’s face he was shocked towards what I was going to do. I smiled cheekily when I saw his reaction but I couldn’t stop. I had to be honest with myself and with Harry and to me this was the only way I could tell him without saying to much. 

I was running towards him as fast as I possibly could. As I reached Harry I jumped up into the air my legs wrapping around his strong body whilst my arms done the same thing as they wrapped against his neck. Everything was happening so fast. I felt Harrys large, warm hands around my side and bum as he caught me, his fast twitch muscles being put to test. My lips hit Harry’s lips as soon as he caught be without giving him a second to react; At first Harry was surprised about how I just lunged straight at him but immediately he reacted by kissing me back as I smiled through the deep , passionate kiss that was currently taking place. His soft, pink lips moved hungrily against mine, his tongue entering my mouth sending me shivers. I could feel Harrys hands playing with he ends of my dress where his hand sat on my bare thighs. This kiss was the best kiss of my life - I felt like our souls were deep in this kiss. We moved in unison, we were one and nothing could separate us. We could both feel the sparks in the air from this kiss as our hearts finally united. I finally told him or in this case showed him what I have been feeling for a long time. The way we moved together and the way we kissed, it’s like our bodies were programmed as one, were programmed just for each other. Every second in that kiss was absolute perfection and the only reason it was so magical was because the guy who was kissing me back wasn’t just some guy but I guy that I really did like. 

Harry and I both pulled away at the same time, both breathless with large, pink swollen lips. Huffing and puffing I looked up at Harry, still held in his arms as he rested his forehead against mine. 

“You asked me to be honest” I whispered slowly in between my breathing. Harry stayed silent but almost instantly after I said those words a large smile took over his face making me sigh in relief. “I’m sorry I was a bitch... Sorry for saying I want nothing to do with you. You’re so kind and... just know that I’m sorry ” I explained. "I really do want you"

His Lips violeted my own as they took control sending my body once again into good feeling mode as Harry dropped me to my feet. Kiss still going and your lips still intact.

“How about round two?” Harry asked the cheekiness in his voice easily being heard. 

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