The October Amaryllis

Chapter 108 - May 19th, 2020 - 1:03 P.M.

My hallucinations returned shortly after my mother left. I know I've described some bizarre ones, but these were a whole new level of crazy.

The first hallucination was of a man getting his head blown off by a shotgun Fallout style. It would have been significantly more disturbing if it was in color. seeing the aftermath made me sick to my stomach.

The second was of me using my phone. I would repeatedly hallucinate myself texting something on my phone, only to snap out of it and realize that I hadn't actually done anything.

The third was a Reddit post on the wall that mentioned my username in the post title. I came up with the name Serpentsbreath64 after listening to the song Beware by Death Grips, with the 64 part referring to how many items you can carry in Minecraft. Fun fact about the song, it features an introduction by Charles Manson! Yeah, that Charles Manson. Anyways, the post had the strangest title I had ever seen; it was something like "Is Serpentsbreath64 Guilty of Being Human?" I tried reading what the post said, but, unfortunately, it disappeared before I could finish the whole thing. Here's where I got to.

As you all know, Serpentsbreath64 is accused of being human. Humans are responsible for the majority of the world's problems. Are we going to just let him destroy everything we hold dear? No, we will st-

The next hallucination was quite an odd one. I heard the chorus to Lessons Learned by Tracy Lawrence playing in an infinite loop. It's not a terrible song, but hearing the chorus fifty times can really drive you insane.

That wasn't the last hallucination I had. What I saw next was, uh... interesting. I looked at the walls again, and on them, I saw a young blonde girl, most likely in her twenties. We sorta stared at each other for a little while before she winked at me. Then she disappeared, just like that.

Imagine for a moment how I felt when I saw a doctor taking notes on the ceiling. He kept looking over at me before writing something down.

"Leave me alone," I whispered. For some reason, it drove me stark raving mad seeing him take notes; it was as if he was looking over every mistake that I had ever made. He ignored my request and instead wrote some more nonsense down before disappearing into thin air.

The subsequent two hallucinations were the most terrifying I had ever experienced. The first one was of my feet turning rotten and gangrenous as if I were some sort of zombie. I saw all of my toes fall off and nearly screamed because, for a moment, I forgot that all of this was a delusion; you have no idea just how realistic they were. You wouldn't be able to tell them apart from real life; I'm dead serious.

The second was even more horrifying. I hallucinated that I was holding a digital clock, and when I looked at the time, it read 6:66. As soon as I read it, I was filled with an immense sense of dread, and my bed came alive. What I mean by that is that it started rolling around the room like it was a gurney. I started deluding that it would drag me down to hell and prayed for God to save me from what was happening.

Eventually, the bed calmed down, and I took a nap to escape my nightmarish hallucinations. Oh, what a fool I was...

Inside my eyelids, I hallucinated myself texting Madelynn, and she replied with pure rage. I'm not sure what exactly prompted her to respond so harshly, but reading it gave me a sick feeling in my stomach. Here is what the text said.

How do you live with yourself, Clive? Have you seen how much damage you've caused? You're trying to save people, but you only make their lives worse. Why can't you be normal? You only ever do things when you gain something from it; you only care about yourself.

After that, I thankfully stopped getting hallucinations, which meant that I could finally nap in peace. I tossed and turned about a thousand times before relaxing enough to fall asleep. Then the strangest thing happened.

I had a dream about Maynard.