Flashback

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-Hydra- 

**Italics = Russian**

"Do you really need to do this every single time?" You huff as you remove your leather jacket and roll up your sleeve. This had been happening for years and years now. 

"Yes..." 

"But what even do you mean protection? What are you protecting me from?" 

"Stop asking questions..." The scientist jabs the needle into your arm, sending a solution through your body. It stings a bit, makes your body feel numb and causes you cramps in your stomach area for a few hours but you were prepared for it by now. 

"So now I can have... what was it you called it?" 

"Intercorse"

"So now I can..?"

"Yes, now get the fuck out of my lab..."

. . . 

You pop out of a portal along a corridor only to bump into Rumlow. 

"Hey Brock my man..." you hold out your hand for a first pump, he stares for a moment then does it. "I saw it happen on the TV box in Pierces's office..." you explain. 

"You're an odd one..." he continues to walk and you try to speedily walk to the same speed. "haven't you got a winter solider to be bothering?" he eyes you, a glimpse of amusement in his eyes. 

"All the time but, he's having a medical..." you portal yourself a little head and look back "so I have a question." you look up at Rumlow who stops in his tracks and takes a sip of his coffee. 

"Shoot..." he says leaning against the wall. 

"Why do they stick that stuff in me everyday, the protection stuff? You know when I have ... shit .. sex that the word!" You look at him expectantly, Rumlow had now been here a while and whilst was used to your flimsy ways, it still caught him off guard on occasion. He nearly chocked on his coffee at the sudden question. He knew you were already decades old, despite you still being in your 20s.. at the very max 30s he wasn't sure... he'd seen the files but your age was vague but similar age to the winter solider seemed about right... but it was the current child like wonder on your face and how little you knew about the world that made him wonder, just how long you'd survive in the real world. 

"Well" he cleared his throat "its an experiment they've been working on for years.... a fertility serum.... they've got one for breeding and one for stopping it... you've probably been having the stopping it for years..." 

"Right" you nod slowly then narrow your eyes and look up "what...?" 

"Oh good lord..." he chuckled and then ran his hands down his face and then looks at you. "They're stopping you having a family Y/N..." 

"A family?" 

"Yes, do you know what one is?" 

"Duh, Zola was mine... " you scoff insulted that he thought you didn't know. 

"Hmm" It was at this point Rumlow's very tiny amount of humanity he had left slipped though. Zola wasn't really your family, he's stolen you, form some Sokovian/ Y/Nationality family and taken you in. Yes, he had cared for you like a father figure or so he heard but he felt this news might be too much for you so he stopped himself. 

"Yes so, when people have sex they make babies, you've seen a baby right?" 

"Yes I know what babies are..." you did know that some of the people that worked with Hydra were married, whatever that meant, and in love, which as Rumlow had said couldn't happen for you, and that they had kids, tiny versions of themselves. 

"Right well they're stopping you have them.." he says slowly waiting for you to realise. 

"Oh...." You don't know why but it made you feel strange. You could be a mother right? You could care for a tiny human? "Did the soldier say he didn't want any?" It was all you could think of, maybe he didn't want you to make tiny versions of him after all, Rumlow said he couldn't love you. 

"I don't think he gets a say in it..." Rumlow was astounded at just how in the dark you were kept but then, had grown up in the walls of hydra bases, would he be any different. 

"Why?" 

"New management new rules, Zola wanted to create a super being, you and Barnes..." you gave him a quizzical look "sorry the winter soldier" he corrected himself "were meant to ... I think he had a tesseract/super solider army plan in his head...no one knows if he started it or what happened but the moment he was gone and hydra was rejuvenated though the years the idea went..." he shrugged. 

"But an army isn't a family? Or is it because you guys are basically family right so...?" 

"Y/N"

"Hmm?" 

"Never mind... but basically I wouldn't dwell on it... you'll get into trouble..." 

"Oh right ok... well thanks for the heads up..." 

"You're welcome ..." 

"Bye" and with that you portaged yourself outside the med centre where the solider was, he'd been out the ice for a while but you hadn't been able to see him so you were excited. As the door swung open the solider matched out, on noticing you his face softened just the smallest amount. 

"How was it?" 

"I hated it" 

"But they're just making sure you're ok?" You again try and match his pace as you walk back to the cells. He looks at you briefly, he wasn't sure he agreed but you looked so worried about him he didn't have it in him to tell you that. 

"Hmm" 

When you get to the cell and sit down, waiting for a call to mission you sat in silence swinging your legs. 

"Do you have a mother...?" You ask the soldier.

"I don't know..." came the honest reply after a good few minutes of silence. 

"Oh...." 

"Why?" 

"I don't know mine either ..." 

"Right." 

"I'm not allowed to be one..." 

"Oh?" The soldier could tell something was on your mind, he wasn't very good at knowing what to say but he let you know it was ok to talk. 

"I guess, saving the world isn't a job you can have and raise babies..." you sigh, you'd not thought about it before but now you knew, it's all you could think about. 

"I don't know." You felt his gaze on you as you meet his eyes. 

"I guess heroes have to make sacrifices..." you smile and shrug. 

"I guess." 

"I hope one day I will be able to save the world, properly." 

"I'm sure you will." You hear a familiar voice in the cells "we have work to do" the voices says as the door opens. 



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