𝙎𝙩𝙖𝙮 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙢𝙚 // 𝙅𝙅𝙆

65 - Stay With Me

Heading over to where my stuff was, I grab a drink of water and sit up against the wall as she does the same.

Once we were sitting, I noticed her take a deep breath before she started talking.

Was she nervous?

"I've spent a lot of time thinking about what you told me from that night..."

I think I have an idea where this might be going...

"I was confused and angry at first and it just didn't make sense... but the more I thought of it, the more I realized that I couldn't stay mad at you."

This wasn't how I expected the conversation to turn out, but hearing these words calmed me down in some way. Maybe this wasn't going to turn out as bad as I thought.

"What made you realize that?"

"I remembered the night where I found you crying... Do you remember what you told me?"

She turns her view to me now and I give her a soft nod in response.

"I didn't think much of what you said but thinking back on it, there was a reason why you did."

That night I told her that I had a bad dream, but the real reason I was crying was because after going through the hundreds of possibilities of staying together, I couldn't find a single one.

That was the night that everything hit me and that I needed to let her go as soon as possible.

"What was that reason?" I tried to play dumb, pretending not to know, but something tells me that she figured it out.

"You knew what was going to happen."

With both of us looking at each other, I can see the hurt in her eyes, which ached me. I forced myself to look away.

"How long did you know?"

I debated on telling her the truth or not, but I didn't see a point in lying to her. Actually, I was tired of lying, but I knew I would hurt her more with the truth.

"Since before we started dating." It came out more as a whisper.

"You knew the whole entire time?"

"Yea..." Looking at my hands with my head low, I felt ashamed for hiding something from her while we were dating.

Everything became very quiet, so turning my head a bit, I noticed the way her facial expression changed. She was deep in thoughts, battling between what I just said and possibly her feelings.

Seeing this made me a bit nervous since I didn't want this conversation to take a bad turn, so I decided to speak first.

"I didn't want to ruin the happiness that I was feeling...that we were feeling. I thought that if I kept quiet and kept you close that things would magically go away..."

Even though I was being completely honest, I couldn't help, but let out a small laugh after hearing my thoughts being said out loud.

"In the end I guess I was just being selfish."

Everything went back to being silent and I was feeling like a huge ass.

"Do you regret it? Letting me go?"

I didn't have to think about this since I knew the answer very well.

"All the time. If I could turn back time and do something differently, I would."

I'm not sure what I would've done differently, but sometimes I thought that if we had never crossed each other's paths or started liking each other, we would've never been in this mess.