Ishq Kinara[Love Ashore] Complete

35. Losing Grip

A fond smile was on his face. He was looking into the nothingness and Zonish could see he was walking the lanes of the past reminiscing something that was now a phantom impression on those nooks and corners.

"When I first visited her grave after the burial, I added Calla Lilies in my assortment of roses. Got a few weird stares for it as well but I didn't care much. Yeah, her choice of flowers was unique and it didn't stop me from bringing those to her when she was alive so why would it do that when she was not? Love doesn't work this way. Just because someone isn't physically there doesn't mean love gets lost as well. The gestures should never stop. Because love is still there."

Zonish wiped a tear that was there at the corner of her eye for a while now.

"If you loved her this much then why did you move on."

Tabrez's face was still soft. Like he was expecting this from her.

"Moving on with life is inevitable, Zonish. Love doesn't fade away but it also doesn't bind you. It shouldn't be. It's not that cruel."

He sat down on the couch in front of her as if the conversation and the baggage behind it was weighing him down.

"Companionship is important in life. You can't always live on your own. That's against human nature. We need people to survive. Not in its entirety, but enough to give us the mere motivation to do so. I love Saima because she's been my perfect companion. We've been through so much together. Navigating our way through life. She was broken hearted and I had just lost your mother. Our shared grief had brought us together."

Zonish didn't know this. Saima auntie too had a past?

"Yeah, she had her heart broken and was in the process of healing when we got married. You can say we both were each other's idea of a new chance at life and love. And over the years, it proved that it was the best thing we did. My love for your mother never faded. It shouldn't have. But I came to love Saima as my life partner as well. Both are different and both are important."

"That's cute and all but you didn't see me and Hejab approaching it this way. We also had lost our mother but we didn't go around looking for a new one."

There was a challenge to her eyes.

"Zonish."

"Go on. I'm listening, Baba."

"How can you say you didn't look for a mother when all your life, the one after your mum you kept on looking for her in Hejab?"

"I didn't!"

"Really?"

Zonish took a sharp intake of breath. Yes, it was true she depended on Hejab like a child would on her mother and Hejab never hesitated from giving her that solace. Whenever people would see their interactions they'd comment on how Hejab used to mother her and Zonish never thought of it much because that was their normal.

"You gave your mother's place to Hejab, the reason why you never felt the need to form any kind of bonding with Saima. But Hejab never got to do that. She made Saima her friend, her confidant and someone she could talk to. That helped her cope with her loss. She didn't put restrictions on herself, Zonish. She accepted life as it is and made the most of it."

"And I didn't. I put myself in a box and refused to look around."

She thought back to how Saima and Hejab were like pals. Hejab never thought of her as her mother but someone she could rely on and Saima played that role so well.

Hejab made the most of what life gave her. Just like Hesham. That was similar between both the friends. They didn't get bitter on what was snatched from them, in fact they took the optimistic road and saw things for their beauty. Something Zonish was never good at. Self realization and assessment always felt too complicated, just like the notion of love and acceptance. But it wasn't. Love and acceptance were as easy as Tabrez, Hesham and Hejab made it look like and it could be as difficult as Zonish always thought it to be.