Regression

Closeted Regression

Before I say anything, I am NOT telling you to lie. I am NOT telling you to leave out details. I am NOT telling you to avoid conversations. However, desperate times call for desperate measures and, in some cases, a white lie doesn't hurt anyone. But do this at YOUR OWN risk.

Being an undercover little agent can suck, there's no way of lying about it. The constant worry that someone will see or find your gear, question your behavior, and barge in on your safe space is exhausting. While I can't help with easing that anxiety, I hope I can still help in some way.

Explaining Yourself

Behavior- explaining speech is simple enough. You accidentally bit your tongue, can't stop stuttering, forgot what you were going to say, were mimicking someone else, or anything else. Just learn to think fast. If you said something weird that could sound like another phrase, then go with it. Behaviors you can blame on old habits, OCD, anxiety, boredom, excitement, or any emotion. You could also say you didn't even realize you were doing it. Just learn to laugh it off and go with the flow.

Buying Stuff- Buying little gear can be difficult, and sometimes it's all about timing. Is it someone's baby shower soon or is there a birthday coming up? Buy your gear with their gifts and then just separate them later. Otherwise, just say that it's for a friend's sibling, or if you are shopping with a friend, say it is for a relative that stopped by.

Hiding Gear

Buying Stuff- Buying gear with other things is helpful. If you are buying something online, then buy other things too. That way if anyone asks to see, you can show them the other stuff. Some shops do discrete shipping, and you can find some that hide gear inside stuffed animals.

Hiding Spots- Knowing the area and people's habits is useful. For instance, is there a junk drawer that no one goes through that has a lot of stuff shoved in the back? Do you have a bookshelf, closet, dresser, or space under your bed? Hiding spots depend on the space around you so look around and think outside the box. Another thing to think about is how the people around you are. If you live with people that invade your privacy VS if you have roommates that forget you live in the same building. Very different situations.

Common hiding spots are in jacket pockets hung in a closet, inside shoes, opaque water bottles, stuffed animals, boxes, and dressers, and depending on how you fold your clothes (or if you fold them) you can hide them in the creases. Under your pillow is a very obvious spot but if your parents aren't super strict and invasive, go for it.

Subtle Things

Dressing Up- In most cases your little aesthetic isn't going to be different from your normal aesthetic but in case it is just say you're trying something new. If you have a judging family then stick to safer options like soft, baggy clothing.

Cute Accessories- Accessories are usually very small like hair clips, charms, or jewelry. If they are small, then just wait to put them on until you leave. If they aren't (like a bookbag) then just try to get by saying that it was a gift, or you ordered the wrong thing and can't return it.