Silent Love

It's Time.

Allie

"17"
"18"
"19"
"20"

"Good job. Thats your third and last rep." I'm currently in Joe's home gym in the basement. I have been living with him for a year now , he's been amazing he's a great friend an amazing father figure and a hell of a trainer but I swear sometimes he's just trying to kill me.

Today's workout is called leg day or lower body training whatever you wanna call it. We've been doing leg presses, leg curls, leg extensions, squats basically everything that involves legs and my personal favorite the booty machine considering I have the flattest ass on the planet. Joe told me what its called but there's so many machines in here my brain isn't that big.

"That's it for today, you ready to go back?" I stand up almost falling face first due to my current shaky, jiggly jelly legs. Jeez who's idea was it to do leg day on my first day back to college.

"I don't think I'll ever be ready Joe. What if they remember my episode not to mention they think I've been in a mental institution for the past year and a half" Joe lets out a breath and starts walking towards me gripping my shoulders. "Allie if you want you can spend junior year just like sophomore year, it's not a problem for me, I do want you to get out of the house but I also don't want you do something you're not comfortable with."

I sigh looking everywhere but his eyes. He's been doing so much for me, he helped me pay the extra cash I needed for online lessons and one to one night lessons at college so that I don't have to meet students. I can do this. I need to this for him. I have to try. I put on the most believable smile I can muster, look him in the eye and say what needs to be said.

"I'll be fine Joe, it's going to be hard but I can do it, I know I can. It's time."

*

I just got out of the shower, the room and the mirror are all foggy due to the high temperatures I love so much. I wipe the steam off my mirror and stare into my dark brown eyes, sometimes they're so dark they seem black. They used to be so full of light I swear they used to have sparks in them. I wonder if that will ever happen again, I doubt it nothing inside me sparks anymore.

Not since two years ago.

Just like my eyes, my soul is black theres no light anymore. He took it from me. He destroyed me, the boy I loved for four years, I gave him everything...everything. I don't really regret it because at that time he was just like me happy and so full of light but then one day he was taken by the darkness and he took me down with him.

I let out a sigh, brush my hair, brush my teeth and go to my closet to pick out clothes for college.

What screams 'Hey I've just come out of the mental institution you all think I've been at but I'm back now, watch out I might just go psycho on you.'

Oh this is going to be a really long day. I decide to go simple with black skinny jeans and an oversized dark purple jumper. I'd wear everything black cause I mean most of my closet is black. Black's my favorite color, my go to outfit is anything that involves black, black jeans, black top, black trainers, black bag you name it but considering what they already think of me I better not add to the new names I'm probably going to get.

I put some light makeup, emphasizing on the concealer under my eyes my bags are terrible, I put on some mascara and lipgloss and head downstairs.

The smell of breakfast in the morning is something different I never get sick of it. Joe goes out all the way, its always something different but always something big. He has one rule 'Do not leave this house without breakfast. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day' He's so strict about it one time I was late for work and I rushed out without it, fifteen minutes later I see him coming up to the bookstore with a large cup of coffee and a breakfast bagel filled with eggs and bacon. He gave me a lecture in front of everyone it was so embarrassing I never forgot to eat breakfast again.

I know what you're thinking I said I haven't been out for a year and a half. Well I haven't been to college for a year and a half and places where the students hang out. I had to get jobs to help pay Joe for my college and for letting me stay with him I owe this man so much you have no idea.

I had three jobs this past year. My life mostly consisted of this breakfast, bookstore, lunch, daycare , home, dinner and sometimes I used to go help out at Joe's friend restaurant.

Lately I've been training with Joe in the morning before breakfast, I'm starting college so some things must change so for now its training, breakfast, college, daycare, I've got a couple of evening shifts at the bookstore some days and then dinner and sleep if I can ever get any but guess what that routine is going to change as of two weeks from now. Joe has to go to the UK for a couple weeks maybe months so he has assigned me to a new trainer I will be getting to work with everyday at eight at night.

I'm suppose to meet him tonight after my bookstore shift, I don't get why cause Joe is still here but he said he wants to see how I do with him. Honestly whoever it is I'm sure is fine but if he's not I'll just ignore it because there is no way I'm going to let Joe worry about me while he's in the UK. He needs a break.

"What's for breakfast?" I ask as I open the fridge and take the orange juice out and fill up two glasses.

"Chocolate chip pancakes, your favorite!" Joe says with a big smile on his face. "You didn't have to do that Joe I would've been fine with a piece of toast." I feel so guilty he's always so amazing. "Nonsense you had a pretty hard session today you need the energy besides its not everyday your little girl heads back to college after being away for so long."

His eyes are shining he's so happy and excited for me, wish I could say the same. Wait did he just say little girl? Am I hearing things? Maybe I do belong in that institution.

"So Allie don't forget you're meeting your new trainer tonight. Don't worry about it being overcrowded its a family gym and they don't take in a lot of clients due to the size, it still has everything you need but if you ever feel uncomfortable and want to come use the one at the basement I'm sure he wouldn't mind."

That's a relief, ever since I started training it's always been Joe and I at his basement gym, I've never had to worry about other people seeing my scars. Now I am a little skeptical about it.

"I'm sure I'll be fine but thanks, we'll just see how it goes." He nods smiling. "I'm sure it'll be fine he's a good kid. Eat your breakfast, you're gonna be late."

*

Joe dropped me off, I don't have a car so I usually go around by walk or use public transportation. Joe said he'll drive me in the morning until he's here, after that I can either use his car or use transportation. I haven't driven in so long I don't think I remember how so for now I'll just use the transportation.

The day care is only about twenty minutes by walk, I finish college at one today and I don't start at the day care till half one so there's time for a little exercise god knows I need it. I'm at the day care till four then I have a short shift at the bookstore from half four till half seven I can walk there too it's only a ten minute walk but then I'll have to get transportation for the gym cause it's at the very far end of town so yeah thats what my day is going to consist of after I enter this hellhole.

And as for whats waiting inside for me, I'm about to find out.

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That's the first chapter for you guys. I hope you like it, please let me know what you think.

I will try to update at least once a week but I have a very bust schedule so please be patient. Any input from you would be appreciated but please don't be rude, this is my first story and it has taken a lot for me to put it out there and give it a go.

What do you think happened to Allie?

-Taleesa