The Fire Within: Secrets

The Fire Within: Secrets- Chapter 1

Chapter 1

>Sierra's POV

I know what you're thinking. What happened now? I mean, I've been through so much, depression, cutting, suicide, what else is there? 

Believe me when I say, this is going to be something different, and shocking. I never would have thought it would happen, I mean who would? 

Slowly, I closed my journal and put the pencil down. Lately, I've been taking time to write my thoughts down. Cole had suggested it was a good Idea. So I did. 

The school year was still going on, it was about only November. Spencer and I were still together, Cole and Skylar were still together and Rae and Ryder broke up, but Jaz and Levi were now together. As things continued on, everything changed. I never thought it would change that much.

As I got up for school, as it was Monday, I had a huge grin on my face. It was the 16th, also, mine and Spencer's 4 month anniversery. I was so excited. I jumped out of bed and went to my closet, picking out a blue-and-white floral skirt and a plain white shirt, with a silver butterfly on it. 

Quickly, I got ready, getting dressed, make-up and everything else. It was 6:35 by the time I was done. I hurried down the stairs and went into the kitchen, grabbing a cereal bar. There, at the table, was my Father. 

After the incident, he's been so much kinder, and loving. Logan, well, he was more of a brother. Still a pain. But everything had gotten better and it was nice.

"Hey, Angel," Daddy said.

"Hi, Daddy," I smiled.

He looked at me. "Why are you so happy?"

"It's mine and Spencer's 4 month anniversery today!" I squealed.

"Oh, right. Well, you better get to school," he said, with a wink.

I rolled my eyes. "Alright. Bye, Daddy."

"Bye, Sweetie," he called after me as I ran out the door.

With my backpack hanging off on my shoulder and my shoes being not too comfortable for running, I was pretty slow. Thankfully, as I got a little farther, I saw Cole. I looked at him, confused. Something was wrong. His form was slouched, he walked slowly and he was staring at the ground. I frowned slightly and ran over to him.

"Hi, Cole," I said with a small smile.

"Hey," he whispered.

I frowned. "What's wrong?"

"Um... Why do you think something is wrong?" he mumbled.

"Well, you're not talking, you're staring at the ground, and you barely ever walk this slow!" I told him. I gave him a hard stare. He looked at me and sighed.

"Okay, you're right. But, I can't tell you. You'll figure it out later," Cole had said just as they arrived at school.

"O-Okay? Well, I'll see you later," I said smiling lightly.

He gave a false grin then walked to his first period. I shook my head with a sigh. Then I hurried along to English. It took about two minutes to reach Mr. Todd's room. Quickly, I took my usual seat and put my head on the table, thinking about what had happened this morning and what Cole had said.

He said "You'll figure it out later," I couldn't stop thinking of what he meant. He seemed so... sad, something bad is probably going to happen. Right? I didn't know, I couldn't know, I just couldn't stand seeing him like this. 

Soon my thoughts were interrupted when I felt someone place a hand on my shoulder. I lifted my head and saw the concerned face of Spencer. Seeing him, I felt instantly better. I gave a little hesitant smile. Then he gave a small smile back.

"What's wrong, Sera?" Spencer asked, worry started to fill his voice.

"Oh, nothing. I was just thinking of something Cole had said earlier," I replied. In the corner of my eye, I saw something flash in Spencer's eyes. Regret? Sorrow? Pain? 

"What did he say?" he asked in an almost whisper.

"It's nothing, it doesn't matter," I said quickly.

Thankfully, Spencer just gave a quick nod and took his seat next to me, and stayed quiet. I couldn't get over the flash of emotion that I had seen in his eyes. Something was going on. Something no one would tell me. 

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The three periods before lunch went by quickly. My mind was so focused on Cole and Spencer. I wanted to know what was going on. How wrong was I for that. But I couldn't not think of it. The glimpse of pain, regret, sorrow, something in Spencer's eyes, what Cole had said. I didn't understand it, I didn't know what was going on. 

Lunch was noisy, but no one seemed to notice me as much. I concentrated on the little details. I have noticed that Spencer was getting more distant, and was less around and I could tell he felt pained when he was around me. What was happening? Spencer changed since back in July. He seemed like he was trying to get away, while staying at the same time. Like a caterpillar from its cacoon. It was something so un-understandable. But what isn't. Life throws a bunch of curve balls at you, you just got to know how to hit them. 

I blinked. I was so focused on my thoughts, I didn't notice Skylar calling my name. Concern flashed in her eyes.

"What?" I asked.

She sighed. "I asked if you and Spencer wanted to come to the Game with Cole, Jaz, Levi and myself?"

"Um, sure," I replied, giving a false smile.

She shrugged, and returned to her conversation with Cole. Then, again, I felt the warmth of Spencer's palm on my shoulder. I turned and looked at him. Again, I could see a pained look in his eyes, but it had quickly disappeared, leaving his eyes blank. Concern had replaced the blank look, as he saw me gazing into his eyes. He could tell something was up. But I could, too. Him and Cole were hiding something. And I had to know what.

"Im serious, is everything alright?" he asked, his voice smooth, but filled with concern.

"Yes, everything's okay, I just have a lot on my mind," I admitted. 

He raised an eyebrow.

I rolled my eyes, and put my head on his shoulder. Pain flared into his eyes, but just as quickly disappeared. I lifted my head, and put in on my arms, on the table. He must have realized I had seen the pain in his gaze, because I felt him move a few centimeters away. When I looked up, I saw Cole gazing at me. His eyes full of sorrow and concern. He blinked, giving me a little smile, then turned back to Skylar. I could fell tears forming in the back of my eyes. I blinked them away. 

Soon, Lunch was over and it was time for Math. I quickly grabbed all my things and hurried to Mr. Ried's classroom. Again, the afternoon classes went by in a hurry, flying by. My mind just would not focus on classes or homework or friends, only on Cole and Spencer.

So badly, I wanted to know what was going on. But it seemed like it was going to take a while before I'd get to know what they were hiding.

I did it. I didn't tell her. I couldn't tell her. She is just so happy. I can't ruin that. But not telling her, pains me. She and I promised to tell each other everything. Anything that was on our minds. But if I told her, she'd be so sad, I can't do that to her. My mind was at constint battle about it. When she finds out, and she knows I knew the whole time, she'd hate me. I didn't want her to, I need her here. She needs me, just like I need her.