chapter 18

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i hadn't been able to sleep all night, why did everything go so wrong, my life was great only a few days ago now i'm sitting in my bed trying to think of what to do about luke. he truly did mean so much to me but i can't just take him back with open arms. it wouldn't be right. 

✧・゚: *✧・゚:*    *:・゚✧*:・゚✧

lukes pov:

i don't know what i hate more, this situation or myself. i haven't spoken to anyone except y/n since this all happened. brianna completely ruined everything for me, i could barley remember what happened except for the image that i'm reminded of everytime i close my eyes, her face. how her eyes looked swollen within seconds and how her lips trembled. how hurt y/n was hurt me because she didn't deserve it, any of it. i can't just go around saying that this was all brianna's fault because i was the one who took the drinks, and i was the one who stupidly enough thought that she was being friendly, but after she made me down nearly 8 drinks she made it clear that it was just to get in my pants.

i couldn't sleep at all last night, i tried to talk to y/n but it didn't work. i just want things to go back to how they used to be, performing and having a blast and having her by my side. it's only been a day but i feel empty without her, she was all i had, she was the only thing that could make me feel human again before i became one. she was the one who taught me how to live again and she made me feel happy again. and more than anything, she taught me how to love agin because my god i am in love with y/n y/l/n. everything about her i was in awe of, her laugh, her smile, her eyes that i would get lost in, her voice. even the things she hated most about herself i loved. so how will i ever tell her this if i can't even speak to her properly.

i sit up from my bed scratching my head and letting out a loud yawn before wiping the dry tears from my eyes that burned from last night. i reached for my phone before seeing 5 missed calls from brianna. i rolled my eyes before getting out of bed and stepping past alex and reggie who didn't even acknowledge me. i opened brianna's contact before pressing call.

"finally you answered!" she giggled which made anger boil through me. she was the complete opposite of y/n, fake. nothing about her was real, from her lip filler to her fake laugh. she was the person people wanted her to be not the person she wanted to be, i think thats what drew me to y/n so much, the way she was always herself and never changed for anyone or anything.

"cut the bullshit brianna!" i snap.

"ouch, don't be so rude to me, babe." those last words made every last straw in me snap.

"no, this isn't how this works. you don't get to call me babe after all this hell you've put me through!" i shout, i couldn't give a shit who hears me now.

"relax luke, it's not like y/n or any of your lame friends would want you back. so i'm pretty much all you have."

"after what you've done to me? i'd rather be alone."

"don't be such a dick."

"i thought you were trying to be nice brianna! i thought you were being my fucking friend, but i was wrong. you made me drink all that shit till i couldn't think, talk or see straight then you fucking told me you were y/n! that's the worst part."

"you should've known, everyone knows too much alcohol makes you like that, so why didn't you?"

"because i-" i couldn't finish my sentence, i couldn't just blurt out 'oh you know because i've been dead for years!'

"say it luke."

"what?"

"i know your secret." no words could come out of my mouth. 

"wouldn't it be a shame if everyone found out who you really are." deny deny deny.

"you don't know anything about me."

"oh really? what do you think of when i say sunset curve. any memories?" fuck, i can't think at all now, how did she find out?

"i don't know what you're talking about!"

"don't lie, babe."

"i, i've never um i've never heard of that!"

"drop your friends, get with me and no one has to know. bye for now."


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