Finding Myself

• 4 •

I explained to Luke everything from meeting Mekayla to falling madly in love with her to that God awful night to where I am now. Right as I was finishing up my pathetic sob story a very familiar voice invaded my hearing. It was the last cover she had sung before she was cruelly taken from this awful world. Hearing her voice again brought tears to my eyes as flashbacks of being with her took over my thoughts. It wasn't until Luke waved his hand in front of my face that I realised that I was staring intently out the window as warm tears made there way down my face.

"Hey, hey it's ok" he cooed in a soothing voice

I violently wiped my tears angry with myself that I was crying over her again.

"What's your story" I asked desperately wanting to change the subject

"Well it started about a year ago when my parents abandoned me, I was always their least favourite but I didn't think they would kick me out and ignore me as if I didn't exist. I was living on the streets for awhile until the guy came along he had bright pink hair and emerald green eyes and went by the name of Michael, he took me under his wing until I got a job. We were best mates for awhile until Ashton and Calum got in the way, they tricked Michael into participating in a drug deal and then they somehow turned the blame on me. Michael was pissed and he kicked me out of the house we had been sharing. I dropped out of school and as soon as I got enough money I got on the first flight to California. I got at job working at a local coffee shop and eventually made enough money to get a flat, which is where I'm currently living, about a month after moving here I bumped into Calum and Ashton again we get into a fight which didn't end well and I guess here I am now all I know is I couldn't stay in Australia" he finished

"Wow" was all I said

"Yeah not much of a sob story but whatever" he shrugged

"I can see why you wanted to leave"

"Yeah" he yawned

I stared at his face taking in every detail. His pale skin, new eyebrow piercing, lip piercing resting on his soft plump lip, his- wait no I can't think this he's a guy!

But look at the way his icy blue eyes shine or they way he plays with his lip ring with his teeth- Connor Stop.

My eyes trail back to his and I notice the large bags that cling underneath his eyes. I take a full look at his face again and notice how tired he looks.

"Hey Luke?"

"Yeah"

"Are you tired?" He looks confused by my question

"No?"

"You look tired"

"I- uh- can I tell you something?"

"Yeah of course anything" we had only just met but I feel like I can trust him and I want him to be able to trust me

"I have insomnia, I only get about 3-4 hours of sleep each night if that" he says looking down as if he were ashamed

"It's ok, can I tell you something now?"

"Yeah"

"I have depression and anxiety" I state

"That's ok" he says as if he didn't know what else to say

"Do you want to come back to my apartment?" I ask

"Sure"

"Ok my roommate won't be home till 6" I say sliding out of the booth which Luke following closely behind

We make it back to my apartment and decide to watch a movie- the Perks of Being a Wallflower- to be exact

I don't know how but somehow I ended up with my head on his lap and his hands playing with my hair. I feel my eyelids get heavy and sleep pulling me into the darkness

• Luke •

I look down at the boy who I'd only just met a couple hours ago. I don't know what it is but something about this green eyed boy has me feeling things inside me. It's weird I've never felt this before but I don't want this feeling to stop.

I continue to run my fingers through his soft brown hair while he sleeps on my lap. I smile he seems so sweet yet broken at the same time.

Around 6:15 a girl steps through the door.

"You must be the roommate" I say

"Yes? And who are you?"

"Luke Hemmings" I say

"Ok are you a friend of Connors?" She asks as she looks down at the sleeping boy on my lap

"Yeah"

"Oh well I'm going to make dinner for when he wakes up" she says before heading to the kitchen

"Connor" I whisper in his ear

"Connor" I say again a little louder resulting in a groan from him as he rolls over

"Connor" I shake him gently

"What" he whines keeping his eyes shut

"Your roommates back"

He sits up and rubs his eyes before looking at me tiredly. He looks so cute when he's tired.

"Do you want to stay for dinner?" He asks

"I would but I really have to get to work" I say

"Oh ok bye- WAIT! Can I get your number?" He asks with a small tired smile

"Of course" we swap numbers and I head out the door. Before I'm fully out I turn around to see Connor laying back down pulling a blanket up to his chin, I chuckle before shutting to door and making my way to the old coffee shop