Finding Myself

• 2 •

We were walking hand in hand along the beach the only sound being heard is the waves crashing against the shore. I look over at her and smile but my smile fades when I see no one there I look down to see no ones fingers laced with mine. I spin in a circle looking around trying to find her but she's not there, not anywhere. The voices start and I feel hot tears making their way down my cheeks

"She's dead"

"And it's your fault"

"No! No it Ms not!" I scream covering my ears to block their words

"You could've stopped it"

"It should of been you" they say laughing

"No stop! Please!" I plead as I sink to the sand

"You should of pushed her out of the way"

"The bullet should of gone through your head" their voices screech

"NO!" I scream tears pouring out of my eyes

"CONNOR" some screams shaking me

I jolt up looking around frantically before relaxing seeing that I'm in my room

"Another dream?" Isabelle sighs

I nod the tears still sliding down my face. She wraps her arms around me as I bury my face into her neck sobbing.

"Shhhh it's ok. It's gonna be ok" she coos quietly

"She- I- I shoul-should've been the one t-to get sh-shot" I sob making my shoulders shake against her

"Hey hey shhh it's ok there was nothing you could've done, it's not your fault" she rubs small soothing circles in my back trying to calm me down.

After my sobs calm down and my breathing returns to normal I pull my head away from her neck and wipe my eyes.

"Sorry" I apologise sniffling

"You have nothing to be sorry for" she smiles slightly

"I woke you up and you have work tomorrow" I say looking into her eyes

"It doesn't matter I don't care as long as you're ok"

"You're such a good friend I don't know what I would do without you" I give her a hug

"Now you try and go back to sleep ok? Do you want me to stay?" She asks

I nod slightly feeling like a child. She smiles and climbs under the covers as I snuggle close to her setting my head in the crock of her neck. I close my eyes and soon sleep takes over once again.

I wake up hours later to an empty bed and a note tapped to my forehead. I chuckle and pull it off reading it.

'Gone to work be back around 6:30'

I sigh what am I gonna do until then? I'm not going over to Tyler's until tomorrow to film so maybe I can spend the day at Barns & Nobles. I nod to myself and climb out of bed heading to my closet. I pull out skinny jeans, my maroon sweater and white converse. After changing I grab my phone, keys and wallet before heading to the door.

I walk into the store and smile heading over to the café to get a drink before I start browsing through the books. I order my drink then head to a random section scanning through the books before I find Paper Towns by John Green I grin as I pull it off the shelf.

I make my way to an empty couch in the store and plop down on it turning to the first page of the book.

Hours later I am finish with Paper Towns, it was really good John Green is an excellent writer. I sigh and check the time 4:37 pm I mine as well go out for a late lunch. I decide to call Joey and ask him if he would like to join me.

- Phone Call -

J - hello?

C- hey Joey

J- oh hey Connor what's up?

C- just getting done at Barns & Nobel and was wondering if you wanted to go out to a late lunch with me?

J- I would be delighted. Where would we go?

C- how about this place called 'Eat' I heard it's pretty good and not very expensive

J- sounds good to me

C- ok do you want to meet there or do you want me to pick you up?

J- we can just meet there

C- ok you know where it is?

J- yeah

C- ok meet you there

J- bye

C- bye

- Call Ended -

I make my way to my car and drive to the restaurant. I make it there in no time and see Joey is already here as well. I hop out of my car locking it and making my way over to the bench Joey is sitting on.

"Hey" I say causing him to look up from his phone

"Oh hey!" She says standing up

We walk to the door and get seated.

- After Lunch -

"That was good! It was nice catching up" he says

"Yes it was we should do this again soon" I say standing up and walking outside with Joey hot in my trail.

"Hey how are you doing?" He asks and I already know what he's talking about

"I'm ok. I'm better than I was thanks to Isabelle" I smile she really is a good friend

"That's good. Hey you take care man I gotta go meet up with Shane" he says head to his car

"Ok bye" I wave heading back to my car as well

I make it home to see that Isabelle it there.

"Hey how was work?" I ask sitting next to her on the couch next to her

"It was good for the most part but Miranda wouldn't stop trying to eat the crayons" she groans. Isabelle is a kindergarten teacher.

I laugh and hug her kissing her forehead.

"What was that for?" She asks

"Just because. Now do you want to watch a movie?" I ask

She nods so I go to Netflix and scroll until I find The Perks of Being a Wallflower

"Is this ok?" I ask

Once she nods I hit play and grab a blanket wrapping it around me and her. She cuddles into my side and I smile as I wrap an arm around her.

I hear her yawn quietly and look down to see her eyes fluttering closed I smile and pull her closer before falling asleep myself.

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A/N: hey so here's a quick little update for you guys.

They are acting like a couple but they aren't they just have that kind of bond but not kissing and anything beyond that

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