Rodrick Rules! - A Fanfiction

Chapter Twenty One: The Mall

It's Saturday afternoon and I've spent pretty much the entire day staring at my bedroom ceiling. I mean, not counting the tv breaks in the living room. The weekend so far has been pretty dull now that I don't have anyone to talk to.

I could talk to my dad, but then again, what's there to talk about? I love him, but all he has time for now is work. I've never really felt like I had a family, not since I was little. It's just me. Me and my dog I guess.

I literally cannot even imagine what Rodrick is thinking right now. I'm sure he understands my disappearance though. I feel kind of bad about ignoring him, but I had to do what was best for myself. He even asked me if I needed space, so he probably got the hint anyway.

But sitting around moping all day isn't really helping me feel better. I sit up on the edge of my bed and look in the mirror across the room. Ugh, I look like a goblin. My hair is all over the place and I've been sitting in the same dirty gray hoodie and shorts all day. Not hot. I decide to go shower and change. I don't really know what for, but it feels like the right thing to do right now. After I'm done drying off I put on jeans and and a dark blue Henley top. I don't actually have plans to go anywhere, it just feels nice to pick myself up and get ready. But I might as well do something with my weekend. Maybe I should call Anya and we can g-

Right.

I'll just... go to the mall. By myself. That could be nice.

I pass my dad in the kitchen on the way out. He's sitting at the table, in front of his computer and a lot of papers.

"I'm going out" I say as I grab my keys. Normally this would be when he either says 'have fun' or 'be safe' and that'd be the end of it. But this time he stops me.

"Hey, hold on for a second" he walks up to me "Uh, could you explain why the photo box was sitting out in the hallway yesterday?" He asks.

Shoot, I forgot to put them away.

"Oh... sorry, I was just looking at old photos, it's for a class project-" I try to lie but he interrupts me.
"It's okay, I just didn't want Ritchie getting to them. Why do you need photos of your mother for class?" He asks. But he's not mad.

I sigh. There's not really a point in lying, is there?

"Um, actually... it's not for a project." I say as I tangle my fingers together "I just wanted to look at the pictures of our old house again. Our old life. I don't really know why." I look down. "Seeing mom felt really weird..." I pause and look back up at him. He doesn't say anything, he just has a sympathetic look on his face.

I sigh again "Dad... do you think she left because of me?" I ask. We never talk about her, so this comes as a shock to him, to say the least.

"What? No, of course not! Sweetheart why on earth would you think that?" Most dads would probably try to hug their kid at a moment like this, but he doesn't. We don't do that here.

"I don't know, it's just that recently I've felt like I can't keep any friends or people I care about in my life at all. I figured since mom didn't stay, it's just because of me." I'm really sad now, but I'm not crying. It just feels like utter disappointment.

"Listen, Valorie, your mother and I had a very complicated relationship YEARS before you were born. Everything that happened between us was between us. Her giving up and moving out was never your fault. Is that what you've thought all these years?"

I nod. I'm glad I finally feel comfortable enough to open up to my dad.
"It's just that, I keep screwing up. Even with my other friends, it's starting to get worse." My dad raises an eyebrow at me.

I continue. "Something bad happened. If I tell the truth it could hurt someone, but if I don't it could hurt somebody else. I feel like I don't even know how to be a good friend anymore. Or even a good person. That's just how it's felt for the past eleven years." I admit.

My dad looks at me for a few seconds. You can tell he's a little lost because he doesn't have to go through one of these tough parenting moments often. But he cares and that's all that matters. That's all I need, is for someone to care.

Dad puts a hand on my shoulder. "Well... I can tell you that you're a wonderful, beautiful girl. And I want what's best for you. If you want to make the right choice, all you can do now is trust your gut. Because... it's our choices that make us who we are. Right?" He shrugs. "We can talk about it more later, but I have a lot of work to do right now. I love ya kiddo, be safe and be home for dinner." he hugs me and then makes his way back to his work.

"Love you too" I say, and then I'm out the door.

•••

I spend a good few hours at the mall tonight. Bought a cute top, and it was on sale so that's a plus.

But it's not as fun shopping or doing anything here without Anya. I really need to think of a way to make it up to her.

Honestly, she'll probably be happier if I fix the whole Rodrick door thing. It's probably better to just tell him about it and get it all over with. But at the same time, what would he think? Would he be that mad? I don't think so... He didn't even get any heat for the party, so what harm could come from it?

My dad's words from earlier ring through my mind. 'Trust your gut.'

My gut is telling me that I'm too much of a coward to make a decision right now. Avoid Rodrick at all costs until I can move to Canada it is, then.

Obviously that's not a realistic plan, but I'm gonna hold off as long as I can and nobody can guilt trip me into doing otherwise. I will simply stop thinking about Rodrick and it won't be a problem. Easy.

Suddenly, the most cosmically ironic thing happens.

I hear the sound of sneakers squeaking across the floor from the opposite direction. I whip around quickly to see Rodrick and his brother booking it through the mall.

'What in the world???' I think.

They both look very panicked and highly amused. Faces red, hair sweaty. Jesus, I wonder what has them running so fast.

Just as they pass me, they both catch a glimpse of me. Rodrick, with a look of surprise, stops quickly as his brother keeps running. He almost falls over completely. He looks at me with a really hyper expression, eyebrows raised, smile wide, heavy breaths.

"Red! Fancy seeing you here-"
"Rodrick! We gotta go!" Greg interrupts as he stumbles back over.
"Right... anyway, about the phone call! Wanted to make sure you're okay. Sorry about that. Got no time. Coach Malone chasing us. Talk to you later though, bye!" Greg grabs Rodrick by the elbow then they start sprinting away.

Weird, but okay. Not out of character for them though.

That encounter did make me feel some guilt. There's no way I can keep this secret from Rodrick forever. And I wanna be friends with Anya again. Ugh. Stupid gut, telling me to do the right thing.

Okay fine whatever. I'll tell him on Monday.