Leave Before You Love Me (COMPLETED)

14

Hey,

Finn and I skipped school today.

And not because one of us is sick, but because we wanted to. We never got to hang out outside the school, aside from the park, so we decided to skip school today. 

And it was one of the best decisions I've made in my life. Not that I have a lot of good decisions I've made.

We went to the movies. To the arcade. We ate ice cream. We ate almost every street food we could find.

We had fun.

After spending the rest of the morning and afternoon eating and playing, we sat on the swing at the park and enjoyed the silence and the cool breeze. But I noticed how Finn's eyes look sad today. I stood up and asked him what was the problem. He was very hesitant to tell at first, maybe he's afraid to ruin the good day we've had. But I forced him to say it. For the past few months that I knew him, I always do the talking when it comes to life problems, and he forces me to do it. I'm just doing the same thing.

But after he told me, I felt so guilty. I am such a bitch.

Today is his parents' death anniversary.

And coincidentally, today's the day my father left me.

But I didn't tell him that. I didn't want to make the conversation about me. He told me how much he misses them. How much he still wishes they didn't die. How much he loves them. What he told me next made me cry.

His parents died with his little sister.

It was a car wreck. He was out with friends when it happened. He never even got to say goodbye. His last words were I'll see you later.

But he didn't. He didn't see them...alive. They all died. Everyone was taken away from him in just a snap. 

I wrapped my arms around his shoulder and gave him a hug. He didn't cry, but I could tell my gesture comforted him. That's why I let him hug me for a few minutes. 

After the hug, and awkward silence, he asked me a question I never expect he will.

Do you think of death?

I do. All the time.

That's what I told him. My answer made him curious and I can tell that he wants me to elaborate on my answer. But I didn't. I only smiled and rubbed my arms when the cold wind blew. 

He caught sight of my bruised collarbone, one that I was trying to hide the whole day. He asked me how I got it. But I didn't say anything. I didn't want to make the conversation about me, and most importantly, I don't want to ruin our day. Because if I told him the truth, I don't know what will happen. 

Or is something will happen.