Alluring Javis Leoniro

Chapter 29

The biggest mistake I did was I knew all along but I didn't do something to make things right.

All I did was add fuel to the fire and play with it until I got burnt on my own, and worse, other people got affected too.

I should have stopped when I got to know that Shantal was pretending to be someone just to be with me. 

It was so wrong but I allowed it. Pinagkasya ko ang sarili ko sa pansamantalang kasiyahan na naramdaman ko sa tuwing kasama ko siya. 

Hinayaan ko lang ang aming mga sarili na maging pansamantalang maging masaya sa kasinungalingang binuo naming dalawa. 

I was so happy with her, I was so happy with all the happy memories we both created.

I will never deny that I am happy with those road trips, night drives, hikes, watching the sunset and sunrise with her, watching the dark sky together, being with her in front of the calm ocean while talking random things and singing heartily, having her in the safe place I brought her where she made it feel like home every time she was with me...

And lastly, I will never deny that I am happiest when I am with her, even if it all started with a lie. It was a sin when I accepted all her care, attention, and love.

Then, after that temporary happiness we created, we were both messed up, especially her.

I came back to my own reverie when Jandro punched me in the face.

I was actually the one who came to his place, and this is what I received when he opened the door of his condo.

He didn't stop beating the shit out of me.

And I let him have his way with me because I deserved all those punches from him.

I was almost knocked out when he stopped, but I managed to properly sit on the floor and moved myself to lean back on the wall.

The physical pain I've received from him can't compare to all the pain that Shantal is feeling right now. 

"You look like shit. You are so messed up, bro," he started. He's just standing beside me, without any emotion on his face.

I never cry. The last time I cried was when my mother died.

But this time, a lone tear escaped my eyes as I remembered seeing Shantal looking so lost and lifeless.

She didn't even realize that I was always around her after the vacation when the news shocked us all, especially her.

I always followed her when she was alone. I don't want to look like a stalker, but I became one because I want to ensure her safety. But other than that, I still give her the personal space she needs. I just want to make sure that she's alright.

Her best friend and both of her parents died... and God knows how much I am willing to do everything just to have them back in her life again.

Because I know the pain she is suffering, I know it too well, remembering what happened to my mom... and her? It's too much for her to lose three important people in her life.

"Tulala ka na naman." Muli kong narinig ang boses ni Jandro. 

"Pumasok ka rito, gamutin natin 'yang sugat mo," dagdag niya pa at tinulungan niya akong tumayo dahil muntikan pa akong sumubsob.

"You are the one who gave me punches," I said like it was nothing to me.

I heard him chuckle. "Gago ka kasi, deserve mo 'yan. Kulang pa nga 'yan pero kahit tangina ka, binuhay pa rin kita."

Napailing na lang ako saka sumabay sa kanya sa loob at pumasok. 

Pabagsak kong inupo ang aking sarili sa malaki niyang sofa at pagod na sinandal ang aking ulo sa may sandalan nito.