Taste of Two Lips Rivera Series #4

CHAPTER FORTY-THREE [ Kianna ]

Chapter Forty-Three [ Kianna ]

“Of all the things you choose in life, you don't get to choose what your nightmares are. You don't pick them, they pick you.” I paused for awhile after reading that quote from John Irving.

I close my eyes, I breathe heavily, open my eyes again and look at the direction where the person I'm waiting for almost three years now, is lying.

Looking at her situation makes my heart clench in pain. I almost forgot to breathe. My eyes watered immediately. If only...if only I didn't let the two of them do the cleaning from three years ago, she is not supposed to be in here. In this hospital bed.

And he's not supposed to—

“Hey,”

My attention got caught by the man walking towards me. Pinunasan ko ang luhang bumagsak mula sa aking mga mata at pinilit na ngumiti bago humarap dito. Pero nang magsalubong ang aming mga tingin, mas lalo lamang akong nadurog.

His eyes are just like mine. No, maybe even worse than mine.

He gave me a small smile, kahit na alam kong pilit at peke lang rin iyon ginantihan ko pa rin. Sa totoo lang, pakiramdam ko naglolokohan nalang kaming dalawa. For how long? Almost three years? Gosh.

He sat beside me, wrapping his arms around me and kissing my head in the process. Those things he did just now, are the only moves that can make me calm. I am grateful for that, I am grateful for him.

He sigh, a deep sigh that carries tiredness and many more that I can't explain. “You should stop spending your break time often in here, I can replace you, you know?” he said after a not so long silence.

I shake my head in disapproval. “No, it's fine. I'm working in here, after all. Hindi naman makakasakit sa akin kung babantayan ko si Meredith ng ilang oras.” tugon ko. Siya nga itong dapat na hindi na pumupunta ng madalas. His work is a little bit far, nakakapagod rin kaya ang pagmamaneho.

“Yeah, right. But you're a nurse and not her personal nurse.” balik na sabi nito. I almost glared at him because of what he said. “I can be her personal nurse. I can request that to his father, either. I can volunteer, kahit walang bayad okay lang—”

“Here we go again,” I got silent.

“Look, love. I don't know why you're blaming yourself from what happened three years ago—” I cut him off.

“Because that is the truth, Blu. I am the one to blame, kung hindi ko sila iniwan—”  but he cut me off, again, before I can even finish my sentence.

“And what is the reason that made you leave them that night? Hmm?” he asked while looking straight into my eyes. I look away and bit my lower lip. Hindi ko sasagutin ang tanong niyang iyon dahil kapag sinagot ko, lalabas na parang sinisisi ko rin siya kaya sisisihin rin niya ang kaniyang sarili.

Pero wala, huli na. At sabi nila, nasa huli palagi ang pagsisisi.

Tumayo ako, he held my hands and I squeeze his big and calloused hands in return. I smiled at him. “Fine, I'm sorry. But I'm sorry again because I have to go, I have some works to do, hinintay lang talaga kita.” sabi ko sa marahan na boses.

He stood beside me and pull me in for a kiss.

“I know, it's fine. Go now, I'll handle things in here.” sabi niya at kaagad naman akong nakampante. Tumalikod na ako at lumabas sa kuwartong iyon, taking a last glance at Red, I smile faintly and continue from leaving.