Yellow - SBI Fanfic

Chapter Eleven

TW: thoughts of suicide, alcohol mention

It had been two weeks since his injury. He still had his normal routine of things but he needed more help with them. Usually it was making food or something but, his needs were starting to annoy Wilbur and Tubbo even more. He would try to ask them for help but they just brushed him off. It hurt him. He just wanted his brothers back. He wanted them to love him. He just wanted it all to be normal again. 

"Hi Wilbur." Tommy said, walking into the kitchen. Wilbur was standing there, drinking some water. "Whatever you want me to do, I'm not doing it. You can do it yourself." Wilbur said, turning back to the window he was looking out. Tommy lowered his head and walked to the cabinet. He was thirsty as well. He opened the cabinet and reached for the glass but, it was too high for him to reach. He jumped for the glass and missed. Wilbur stood there, watching Tommy try to get the glass. He knew he could grab it for him, but he still held a grudge against him. Tommy tried to climb onto the counter but he lost his balance and fell. He landed on his side without the injury and it didn't hurt this time. He heard a door slam shut and footsteps follow it. 

"Tommy?" He heard Phil yelling his name. Phil ran into the kitchen to see Tommy on the ground while Wilbur stood there looking out the window. "Tommy, are you okay?" Phil said frantically. "Yeah, I'm fine." Tommy replied. Phil noticed Wilbur, staring at him with disgust. Wilbur quickly turned around once he saw Phil staring at him. "Hey Tommy. I'll bring you some water. Just go upstairs for a minute." Phil said as he helped Tommy up. Tommy nodded and walked upstairs.

"What the hell, Wilbur." Phil growled. "Why didn't you help him? He's your brother for crying out loud." Wilbur shot his head up. Phil was mad. "He's not my brother, Dad. I can't believe I liked that kid. He's just a useless shithead who thinks since he's injured he gets whatever he wants." Wilbur shouted. Phil's eyes widened with more fire. "You do not call your brother that. He very much is your brother. I bet if that was Tubbo there, you would've helped him immediately. I can't believe you." "For the last time he isn't my brother!" Wilbur yelled. He picked up his glass and chucked it at the floor. Phil looked down at the broken glass. Wilbur stared at him, breathing hard. Phil slowly looked up at him. "Why do you hate him so much, Will. What did he do to you? He has done nothing to you or anyone." Phil whispered. "He's the reason Techno left! If he had never came here, we would still have him. It's all his fucking fault. I hate him so much. But you don't understand because you love him more than me." Phil looked shocked. He looked back at the glass on the floor. He felt shattered. " Wilbur I-" "Save it dad. I know Tommy is the reason and that's my belief." Wilbur left the kitchen as Phil sat there still in shock.

Phil fell to the floor. He knew that Techno didn't leave because of Tommy. He started to cry. "I'm sorry Techno. I failed you once again. I can't be the best dad for these boys and I'm sorry." He yelled out in pain. He fell to the ground and sobbed. He hadn't felt pain like this since the day she left. All he wanted was for his boys to get along again, for them to be a family, but it was gone. The love was gone. The brotherhood was gone. They were just individuals sharing a house, not a family. Phil wiped away his tears and locked himself into his study, like he usually did. The sound of muffled crying from behind those heavy doors was heard throughout the house.

Tommy had heard everything. He heard every word, sound, and breath. He couldn't handle it anymore. He grabbed his shoes, his coat and a case as headed for the door. He saw Wilbur walk by. "Oh, finally you're leaving. Good." Wilbur said. Tommy lowered his head and walked outside. He walked into the fluffy snow that laid on the grass. He walked by the hay dummy that had been neglected for two years now. He put his hand on it. "It must suck being left alone out here. I bet you're used to having Techno come out and practice on you." Tommy said. He walked away from it and sat by a tree close by. "I remember coming here with Wilbur when he would tell me about his new ideas for stories. They were always the best." He smiled. He sat there for awhile as he hummed a tune. He finished the song and got up. He walked into the forest to see the colourful trees covered in snow, the flowers still blooming, and the foxes playing around in the snow. He kept walking until he found a nice little pond with two abandoned tents. "I remember this place. It was where Tubbo and I first met." He sat down by the pond and set down the case in his hand. He took out the violin that was in it. He put the violin to his shoulder, put his bow up, and started to play

a/n: song recomendation for this part! changes- hayd | timestamp 1:00

"i'm going through changes. but i swear i'm the same" He sang as he played each note.

"could you show me some patience, along the way?" His mind started to slow from his thoughts.

"i'm going through changes. but i swear i'm the same." He started to feel tears form in his eyes but he let them fall this time.

"could you show me some mercy, if i start to stray?" He paused to take a quick breath and continued to sing. He put his bow back up and played the notes.

"i've been chasing after feelings, most of which are fleeting." His voice started to break as he started to cry.

"i still feel empty." His tears stopped there and he paused. He sat there with no emotion. He took a deep breath and continued.

"and i've been trying hard to fit in, but how come i'm so different from everyone i see?"

He broke down there. he put his violin down and cried. He wanted Wilbur and Tubbo like him. He was never able to please them no matter what he did. They would never love him unless. They wouldn't care about him until he died. He wanted them to love him so maybe dying would be the way that would happen. Maybe that would work. "I'll do it later. I want some last moments with them." Tommy thought. He continued to cry for a while. He felt it get colder. It was getting late. He packed up his stuff and left the pond. He saw the house lights in the distance as he approached it. "Tommy!?" He heard the faint yelling of his name. He saw Phil notice him and running towards him. 

"I'm sorry Phil. I just needed some fresh air." Tommy said, emotionless. Phil nodded and walked back with him to the house. Tommy took off his shoes and his coat and walked upstairs. He laid down in his bed, not feeling anything. He just felt empty. There was a knock at his door. "Come in." He said. Phil walked in. "Hey mate. I just wanted to check on you. Are you okay?" Tommy looked over at Phil in the door way. "Is it true that I'm the reason Techno left?" Tommy sighed, looking back up at the celling. Phil stood stiff. "He heard the whole thing. He heard the glass. He heard the yelling. He heard it all. I can't fulfill Techno's promise ever."  "Uh, of course not, Tommy." Phil said. "You hesitated, Phil." Tommy replied. "Why?" Phil walked over to him and kneeled beside his bed. Tommy look sick. "Tommy, Techno loves you. He told me that himself. He left to protect you. That isn't your fault." Phil whispered. Tommy nodded. "I'll let you sleep now, Tommy. Sleep well, bud." Phil said, walking out the door.

"There's no way someone like him could love me. I'm nothing compared to him."

1437 words

a/n: thank you guys for 120 reads! as more angsty and closer to the end im getting, the longer the chapters are lmao. anyways, stay safe and eat if you haven't already today!