My eyes just watch as a crowd forms not doing anything as mattia keeps throwing punches. Shocked he has controlled himself this senior year. But he will always have his issues. I knew I shouldn't have shown up to this party as soon as I see the other guy pick up one of the broken pieces of a vase. I look away and turn around going upstairs. They're covering the door so I can just leave. Vic is hanging out with her friends while her boyfriend is being. Mattia.
I peak through his creaked door and my eyes widen as hugs stomach is all bruised. And bleeding from his side. I look back downstairs at the large crowd who seem to keep partying before walking into his room. His eyes find mine as I lock the door.
"You're hurt."
He ignores me. I know he hates me. And he thought getting with my best friend would make me finally admit how in love I am with him. But if we're saying the truth I'm terrified. We always had feelings for each other. But in the end I broke his heart by just turning my back on him. We haven't spoken to each other since last summer. Before junior year. Been so long yet I can't shake this life I have from him off me. And it hurts. But I don't trust myself around him.
And I'm not used to not being in control. Every relationship I see falls apart. I don't want that. I give him my hand. He just stares at it. The first boy I was able to make cry for me. And now I'm crying myself to sleep just because I can't commit to him.
He doesn't take it. Just stands up and walks to the bathroom, I follow him.
"Get out."
"Let me help you."
"You've done enough"
I don't have to argue with him. He just sits on the counter by himself. I roll my eyes behind his back as I start to clean him up. The entire time he is just tense. And quiet. He doesn't look me in the eyes once.
"Can you stop grabbing my hand." I state
"It hurts there."
"Because he stabbed you." I remind him with a smile. He rolls his eyes and I ignore the heat that flows through my body at his touch. He lets go of me and his head falls back as I continue stitching.
I sit next to him on his bed. The music still blasting downstairs.
"Are you even taking your pills." I just put the question out there.
"Do you always have to bring up the fucking pills."
"Yes because it's clear you aren't taking them."
"Why did you even fucking come here."
"With a friend. And I don't want to leave her here."
"Then why are you with me."
Because she's hooking up with a random guy. And I want to be in your company. Comforting you. I just stay quiet. There is so much tension and the air is thick.
"I don't take them anymore." He breaks the silence. I look over at him.
"They don't do anything y/n. I said it before."
"Because you never give them a chance. You take them once a week to do any good. But you love drinking and doing other harder drugs that you know make you angrier. And you still won't admit how you get panick attacks or have anger issues. You don't tell anyone. And I bet you haven't even told Vic."
