SEASICK

68- Why?

[[ Hello my friends, this chapter is sort of short so I am sorry if you are disappointed. I am trying my best. I am leaving for the airport in thirty minutes and life has been hectic. Anyway, I love you guys and hope you enjoy it. I will be writing more on the plane and in my free time. - L RANDY]]

"So, tell me." Kazumi crossed his arms over his broad chest. "Why do you wish to leave?"

Alana averted her eyes from him to the window, focusing on the morning sun peeking over the horizon, the cabin was still washed in the cool blue of dawn. She suppressed releasing a dreaded sigh and instead bit the inside of her cheek.

It was only the morning after the incident, and in truth, she would appreciate seeing anyone but the overbearing captain right now.

It was so early in the morning that the ship was deathly silent, not a boot-stomping in earshot or a brawl beginning on deck. The Scorched Bones swayed softly with the calm waves, barely noticeable on the huge vessel. Its slight creaking snuck into the thick tense silence between the two of them.

Leopoldo had just left from his 'shift' watching over the girl, another thing Alana could not quite understand. She guessed they were making sure she wouldn't try throwing herself from the window in an effort to escape, trying her luck with the waves than with them.

She wasn't far off, and the pirates weren't either.

Though it wouldn't be to escape them that Alana wished to give in to the tide. She hadn't been able to sleep at all after awakening in Kazumi's cabin. 'Stressed' would have been a gross understatement for the feelings swirling within her. She never intended for last night to go the way it had, but it was shedding light on her dreaded thoughts in the shadows of doubt.

Alana simply wanted a break, a moment of pure and true silence. For this all to stop, and if possible, go back to the way things were before she opened her mouth last night.

"I thought we were tabling this conversation," Alana muttered out, her voice still croaky and throat sore.

Kazumi's jaw clenched, growing impatient with the girl.

"Answer."

For whatever reason, Alana felt daring, as if nothing could be worse than last night. She knew better than to test the captain's patience, but she was finding it hard to bite her tongue.

"If we discuss this, then we have to discuss you letting me go see Ivo."

Alana fought not to cross her arms, she felt it would make her look like a pouting child who was not getting their way. Instead, she kept them by her side, fingers gripping the edge of the mattress as she stared out the window.

"No," Kazumi plainly but quickly countered.

"You seem to have forgotten your place here." He continued carefully, a pit in his stomach as if his words hurt him to say. "You are the prisoner, you have no say, you do as you are told. It is not wise to disobey me."

Alana's eye line fell to the floorboards, a feeling caught in her throat she couldn't swallow. Her eyes stung with the threat of tears and shame.

"Kazumi..." She had almost whispered and her voice cracked. "Please."

His golden-yellow eyes traveled over her figure almost in thought, pained to the woman he cared for so deeply look so saddened.

"Fine then," Kazumi huffed, giving up quicker than he ever has. "We can discuss Ivo after you answer my questions."

For the first time since Kazumi had entered the room, Alana looked straight at in his eyes, perking up at his words.

"Now, tell me- why?" The captain crossed his arms as he stood above her.

Alana shifted her eyes away again, taking a dry swallow.

"I just..." Do I tell the truth? "I wanted to be free."

Alana's gut twisted with guilt, still unwilling to be honest with the pirates.

"Free?"

Alana took a deep inhale through her nose, here we go.

"I know I haven't spoken much about my past, but... it is important you understand. I have been a prisoner my whole life." Alana glanced back up to Kazumi when she spoke her half-truth.

"Always, I have been told what to do and where to be, what to eat, when to sleep, how to look, how to sit- nothing I ever did was my very own decision until... until I left."

It was painful for her to talk, but she continued on quietly.

"I decided I didn't want to be a prisoner- a puppet- anymore. So, I ran, and in my naivety, I stumbled onto your ship within thirty minutes of leaving my old life behind. I was a prisoner again before I ever got to experience liberty. At first, I was okay with it, I was fine with being your maid or prisoner or whatever because I would get to experience life, a resemblance of freedom. Traveling and being with people I grew to... care for. But..."

Alana paused, realizing so far nothing she said was quite a lie, a few omissions but not a lie. This was the first time Alana was ever close to being transparent about her life before the Scorched Bones. It, in a way, made her happy for a moment, but the emotion was short-lived after she realized her truth was minimal compared to what she withheld.

"But I am tired of being a prisoner, Kazumi." Her eyes were begging. "I want to be truly free."

The captain had nothing to say at first. He stood silent and absorbed the girl's story, trying to process what she was telling him. She did not answer his question directly, but in a roundabout way, he feared she had. Kazumi couldn't leave it up to assumptions, he needed a straightforward answer.

"Do you wish to leave the scorched bones?" He finally said, fearful but not giving any tell.

"No, I only wish to have my freedom. I only said that I wanted to leave last night... to test you."

Perhaps at the end, I wanted to test you, but in the beginning, I just wanted a way to keep you all safe... safe from me. This all has gone too far, and I am the reason behind it all, me and my wretched blood.

"Test me?"

"Y-yes. The way you acted as if you'd keep me, prisoner, until I died, did not seem like something a kind person would do. I wanted to see if you... cared for me."

There was so much hidden behind the honesty she spoke even Alana was not sure herself anymore of what she wanted. The only thing she knew for certain was that her heart ached every time she met the eyes of one of the demon pirates. To her, they were the foundation of what she needed to become, the thought of them as children, suffering under the reign of her parents, is who she wanted to protect, and for them, she would burn her palace to the ground to atone for her family.
The plan she had come up with was a messy one, risky, and more importantly, if she were to fail, the pirates could lose their lives. That thought kept her awake most nights and terrified the princess to her core. To protect them now, in her way, she would say whatever she had to, convince herself of anything. She only wanted to keep them out of that and separating from them was the best she could come up with. That however did not go over well.

Kazumi stood stoic and as usual the look of no emotion on his face. Alana couldn't begin to guess what was on his mind or how he felt. He was as mysterious as the first day they met.

Without a word, he turned his back to her.

"Let's go."

Alana's brows pulled in, confused. "Where?"

"To see Ivo."