𝘝𝘐𝘕𝘕𝘐𝘌 𝘐𝘔𝘈𝘎𝘐𝘕𝘌𝘚

insecurities

(tw: eating disorders/starvation)
y/n's pov- 5:57PM
i just woke up from my nap and noticed vinnie wasn't next to me, where he was when we were cuddling. i quickly stood up and ran downstairs.

"vinnie!!" i shouted. no answer.

"vinnie?" i said a bit quieter.

"sorry, y/n! i'm making dinner!" he shouted as i ran downstairs, sighing because i was worried.

"why didn't you answer me the first time i said your name? i thought you were kidnapped or something." i laughed.

"why would you think i was kidnapped? i'm 19 years old. i don't think anyone wants me." he smiled.

"i don't know, vinnie. some of your fans are psychopaths." we both laughed.
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vinnie made us dinner and i felt really insecure. my acne, my cheeks, my teeth, and just everything i was always insecure about. i didn't want to eat. vinnie actually just came back from seattle and he was gone for two weeks. i didn't eat those entire two weeks. he handed me my plate and i looked down and fidgeted with my fingernails and my leg started bouncing.

"y/n, what are you doing?" he looked over at me and put his fork back down on his plate.

"oh, nothing." i smiled weakly.

"i can tell something's wrong, y/n. we've been together for two years, i'm pretty sure i can tell when you're lying to me." he smiled.

"vinnie, i'm fine." i said a little loud. i gave in and began eating my food. after i ate a little bit, i started to feel sick.

"ok..." he said to himself.

i put my fork back down on my plate and crossed my arms over my stomach. i pushed the plate away from me because the smell of the food made my stomach hurt worse and made me want to throw up even more. vinnie looked at confused.

"are you okay?" he put his fork down and rubbed my back gently.

"uh, yeah. i'm fine. my stomach just hurts, that's all." he was starting to catch on and he was starting to get suspicious of me.

"you sure? you seem sick." he got out of his chair and lifted me up, bringing me towards the bathroom. he sat me down on the floor and as soon as i got there, i threw up all the food i had just ate.

"y/n, what's going on? please talk to me. was it the food, did it make you sick, what the hell happened?" he ran his hand through his hair.

"nothing, vinnie." i sighed and sat against the wall. he was starting to get frustrated with me.

"y/n..." he frowned.

"fine." i rolled my eyes and turned to face him. i didn't want to say anything, but vinnie wouldn't get off my back.

"i didn't eat the whole time you were in seattle. i thought you deserved a girl that was perfect and didn't have any insecurities, so i starved myself. and when you got back, i started to worry that you were going to worry about me, like you are." i said.

"you are perfect. don't ever tell me you're not. you're the most beautiful woman i've ever met and probably ever will meet. everyone's insecure about things, but starving yourself isn't going to help. sooner or later, it's just going to make you sick like you are now. i love you." he cupped my cheek, but didn't kiss my lips because i had just threw up.

"vinnie, but i'm not. i wish i was perfect, but i'm really not. i've dealt with things that i wish i didn't have to, i have so many mental health problems, and now this." i started to cry.

"yes, you are. listen to me. you don't think you are, but what i see every day when i wake up is perfection. you. you're so gorgeous and beautiful and you're so pretty." he smiled and wiped my tears away from my face, making me smile.

"i love you." i smiled. we both stood up and i hugged him tight and so did he. he hugged me around my waist while i placed my arms around the back of his neck. we stood there for a little while before we went to bed a few hours later.
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i just wanted you guys to know that you're beautiful. and no, not everyone is perfect and everyone has their flaws but if you ever need anything, please talk to someone or me. chances are i'll answer. i love you.

(9/16/21)

word count: 757❤️