Sinbound: Variants

Part 19

Author's note: I have some explaining to do. First of all, I have a full time job now that is sucking the life out of me. Second of all, it's supposed to be summer but all it does is storm... thanks a lot, Thor. Thirdly and finally, I am unwell after watching the Loki series. If you haven't seen it yet, I promise I won't say spoilers. Let's just say that Loki is the superior Loki over... all of them. Anyway.... now that I finally have a few ideas after some writer's block for this story, please enjoy this next chapter and a few more to come in the coming days. Love you all, for all time. Always.

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Loki struggles to wake me up from my nightmare. When I do, I find myself wrapped in his arms. He's shushing me softly, rubbing my back. "I'm here, darling. You're safe, come back to me. You're alright, I'm here...." He says gently in a gravely, tired voice.

I startle awake and snuggle in tight towards him. I can't help a few tears falling down my face, and I wipe them away on the pillow under our heads. "What was it this time?" He asks, knowing my routine by now.

I'll toss and turn, sometimes kick during my nightmares every night. They've been happening ever since I stole that stupid time stone and saw what could have happened. The destruction, the death, the loneliness. How I lost all sense of who I was, and became a monster that would have taken Sam and Dean Winchester an entire season to hunt.

tonight, it was specifically about finding Jarvis but instead of pieces of him surviving, he was completely mutilated and I was stuck forever in that apocalyptical world. My mind wandered from there to what it would be like if I had gotten stuck there.

Now, my face is buried in the warm scent of Loki's skin, a mix of cedar and orange with a little sweet rose. I don't know how he smells like that all the time, but I can never get enough of it. I want it in a candle. "Please don't leave me." I say, not realizing the words were coming out of my mouth until I had already said them.

"Why would I ever do that, my love?"

"Sometimes," I begin, wiping one more tear from my eyes, "sometimes I'm afraid that I've still fucked up somehow and I've just created the biggest illusion of the century and none of this is real. That I've ruined everything, but somewhere I'm just imagining a better ending."

"I'm real, darling. I promise." He responds, squeezing me tightly and pulling the blanket over my shoulders.

"That's exactly what I would imagine you'd say." I say to him, finally looking up to see his face. He's looking down at me, his hair tucked behind his ear. His eyes are soft and worried, but watching me carefully.

"I stormsvarte fjell..." He starts singing. I don't recognize the language, but it's not long before I realize it's Asgardian.

"Jeg vandrer alene.

"Over isbreen tar jeg meg frem, I eplehagen står møyen den vene.

"Og synger: 'Når kommer du hjem?'"

I stop him from singing by pressing my lips against his. "I'm real, darling. And so are you, and so is this world you're living in. I know it's nothing like what you'd assume it would be..."

"You mean like being a magical antichrist with an evil variant and married to the god of mischief?" I say, smiling up at him. He holds his breath, then lets it out harshly, smiling and amused by my poor description of my entire life.

"Sure... yes. That." We giggle together under the moonlight forcing it's way through the trees and into wild shapes across the floor and the blanket that shields us from the world.