Rodrick Rules! - A Fanfiction

Chapter Sixteen: The Drunk Mistake

"Are you drinking? I thought you were driving home" I ask.
She shakes the cup slightly "pineapple juice and sprite" then takes a sip. "I can tell you've had a few drinks. That or you're mad."
"Eh, both. How can you tell?"
"Both beer and anger make your face turn red"

Oh boy, hopefully I haven't been blushing all night.

"So, did you make your move?" She asks hopefully.
I scoff at her question.
"Get this: he's not even into me. He's totally hitting on a bunch of other girls he invited. He's been asking for lady advice from me all night."
I huff and roll my eyes. But I am definitely more heartbroken than annoyed.

I reeeaally wish I didn't care so much.
"Oh, Val, I'm so sorry. He wasn't worth it, you're way too good for him" she gives me a hug. "Here, we can still make the most of the night. Plenty of cute guys here, huh?"

"I guess..." I try to hide the fact that I'm actually really hurt. It's not fair. I didn't get a chance to be close with him, and now it's all over before I could even do anything.
"I'm gonna go get another drink" I say and walk away.

I feel my nerves subside with yet another beer. And another. And two more. I chill in the kitchen, thinking to myself. Once again, Anya's right about something. I still can have a fun night. I'm at a party, I should be having a good time. I was invited and I showed up. In fact, Rodrick should feel lucky that I'm here. I am a fucking pleasure. More than some random girl from math class. I'm an actual friend. I'm cool, I have a car, I listen to good fucking music. God, why can't he see that?

I can tell my is face getting hot with anger. I'm suddenly aware of my harsh breathing and how hard I'm gripping the bottle in my hand. I try to shake it off and go back to the living room.

It looks like Greg and that Rowley character seem to be livening up the party. A lot more than you'd expect for a couple of middle schoolers. Everyone else joins in on the fun when they start dancing wildly to the music. Rodrick doesn't look too happy about it, but who cares what he thinks? Yeah, who cares... I down my drink and go find Anya to dance with her. When I get to her I grab her hand and start spinning her around. "You seem to be feeling a lot better" she laughs and dances around with me. We do a terrible version of the tango. Leading our clumsy dance, I start to feel more and more loopy. "You can thank the funny ha ha juice" I say as I dip her, and she cracks up. I love making her laugh.

As the night goes on, I get even more reckless. If Anya weren't here I'd probably end up embarrassing myself more than I needed to. I drink a little more and start to lose my filter. I start flirting with practically everyone (except Rodrick) and singing along loudly to the music.  I don't even know the words to most of the songs.

Nature starts calling so I make my way to the bathroom. When I'm done doin' my business I look in the mirror. Yeesh, my face is so red. I flick some cold water on my face. I take the time to stop to think for a second. I could be having a nice night, but Rodrick is just lingering in the back of my head. He's such an idiot. I wish he could feel as pissed as I do right now.

I then proceed to get the worst idea I have ever come up with in all my years of living.

After I leave the bathroom I go digging through some drawers in the kitchen. It takes me a while to sift through all the junk to find what I'm looking for. Sticky notes, paper clips, pencils, tape... aha!

Out of the drawer I pull a thick, black permanent marker.

Let's see how cool your party seems now, Roddy boy. I make my way back to the bathroom, hiding the marker from anyone I pass. Now, I wonder what I should say. I could be blunt and make it a big, literal "FUCK YOU". But that's not creative. I have a better idea. You can't get mad when someone compliments you.

I make sure nobody's watching when I uncap it and start to scribble right on the bathroom door: "RODRICK RULES". I stand back and admire my work. Mwah, perfect sarcasm. Who's to blame when shit like this gets out of hand? Not me.
I go throw the marker back in the drawer and continue with my night as if I did nothing. It'll be my little secret. If Rodrick gets upset then that's his fault. Don't see myself regretting this one, asshole.

My brain is really fuzzy at this point.

I find myself talking with Katy, Anya and Andy (who showed up a few hours late), about everything that's happened tonight. Andy only has like, half of the information so he's visibly confused at everything I'm saying. Me being shitfaced didn't help.

Katy is also a little tipsy. "Damn, Rodrick? More like Rod... dick! Yeah, haha" she says in response to my story. "Yeah, exactly! You know what? I should go talk to him" I say, slurring my words together.
"NO you should not" Anya says firmly, but I'm already gone.

I find Rodrick trying to flirt with some blonde chick. Rachel Louis, I think her name was? Damn she's like, really gorgeous. I waltz up to the both of them.

"Hey" I say to Rachel "you know, between you and me, you can do a lot better than that" I gesture towards Rodrick. "He's a toootal wannabe. Plus, he's wearing eyeliner like, who does that?" Honestly, I don't mean most of what I say, but I just can't stop myself. She kind of chuckles at my comment and tells Rodrick "I'm gonna go find my boyfriend" and leaves.

I laugh so hard at Rodrick, right in his face. A little too hard. He certainly seems less than pleased. "Val, what the hell are you doing?" He's genuinely pissed. Oops. "You're just mad nobody here wants to sleep with you" I tell him. That one went too far, I'll admit it. He looks a mix of pissed off and sad.

"I thought you were gonna help me, but instead you're just being an asshole!" He tries to get my attention but I can tell I'm totally out of it by now. I stumble a little and I can feel my eyelids half closing. Also I think I might be drooling a little.

"Val-" he grabs my shoulders and tries to get me to look at him.

"Hey buddy at least buy me dinner first" I giggle and bat his hands away.
"What?" He's perplexed.

"But then again, I kind of like it aggressive" I growl and corner him. I put my hands against the wall on both sides of him. Nothing intense, but it definitely makes him nervous. His face turns red as a tomato and he looks down at me, arms pressed to his sides. It probably looks funny, this short girl pinning this significantly taller kid against the wall.

"You- you're drunk" he finally realizes. A relieved, yet amused smile creeps up on his face.

"Your mom-" I fall face first into his chest and black out.

I don't actually really remember what happened after this, but this is how Anya explained it to me the next day. Rodrick awkwardly peeled me off of his body and guided me to the stairs. He gave me cups of water and stuff but I kept spitting it at him. Apparently, at this point, I said a lot of dumb shit to him. A lot of dumb shit. Most of which that didn't make sense.

"Stop giving me water!"

"I drank too much bread juice and now I'm seeing sounds."

"I think my skull is vibrating."

"Woohooooooo!!!"

"Who are you, I hate you. Also you're ugly. Bitch."

"Look I'm gonna do a cartwheel" followed by Rodrick not letting me do a cartwheel.

"Why do you keep giving me water, that's the shittiest birthday present."

"Oh my god I forgot what the capital of our state is" I then proceeded to cry about it.

"Anya and I are gonna get married and move to Canada, you must be so jealous."

Eventually, Anya had to take me home. She said Rodrick wasn't mad at me at the time, he just wanted to make sure I got home safely. Those were his words, apparently. I still definitely think he's mad though.