Girlfriend Corporation

Girlfriend Corporation: Fifty Five

"I want to start anew." I started off sincerely. "I can't work with corporation forever. Not when I know how fucked up their system was. Not when I know that I will continue hurting people in the future. Not when I know that you're just fine being with yourself now. You're the main reason why I actually signed up, right?" I explained getting a little bit impatient. Ryujin just stared at me with her usual neutral expression when she's in deep thought. "Jin.. I've never spent a single penny on what the corporation gave me. I'm willing to return it to them in exchange of your freedom. Don't you want to be with Lia?" I frustratedly asked on the lack of reaction from her.

"I do and I don't. No. Let me rephrase that. I do but I can't." Ryujin answered right away.

"You can if you want to. Don't give me that bullshit. This is your chance to be happy, Jin. Are you willing to let this go? Lia? You obviously love her!" Ryujin slowly smiled. A bitter one.

"The last time I loved someone I ended up getting deeply wounded." I bit my lip and looked away knowing what she mean. "And what if I do? And what if love is not enough anymore?" Her smile was disturbing. It was the same smile she gave me the first time I talked to her after that night with Yeji. It was petrifying.

"Jin, I know what it did to you. I know what 'I' did before--"

"This is not about you and Yeji anymore because I've long moved past that, Ryeong. This is purely about me. You know damn well, out of all the people out there, why I can't leave the corporation. Zephora needs me. My sister needs me. I can't just.. turn my back to my responsibilities." I shook my head at how similar her answers was. It almost seemed like it was well rehearsed. Every time I try to knock some sense into her about the corporation, she would start talking about her responsibilities as if.. as if she hadn't done enough.

"Jin, when will you stop.. chastising yourself? Don't you think you've reprimanded yourself enough? It's time to choose yourself. Would you actually let this opportunity slip? What if you just wake up one day and realize that you really want Lia in your life but it's her that already gave up? Would you be willing to deal with that?" I kept on pressing. I just.. I can definitely see how better Ryujin was with Lia.  I just can't give up without trying my best to convince her.

"You shouldn't be chasing over love, Ryeong. It will find you or it will come back to you. For if they were to come or come back, they were yours. And if they don't, they never were." I brushed my hand over my hair in exasperation.

"You can't expect love to always come and comeback to you if you don't even know how to give importance in one, Jin. Lia is different. I swear, she would never crawl and beg you to be with her. That's plain absurd." I couldn't help but glare at Ryujin. She was just as calm as earlier and I don't like it. It almost seemed like she doesn't care.

"I don't expect her to be. She's a brave, cogent, compelling, courageous and undeniably beautiful person. There's no way that she would beg me, a damaged goods, to be with her. I know that--"

"You know damn well that's not what I mean." I cut off.

"I know, Ryeong. I know. But you also know why I can't. As much as I want to, I can't. We can't. Harming my family or her is not something that I would be willing to risk for a short span of happiness from my own selfishness." The corporation. It always has to be the goddamn corporation. If only we weren't so stupid back then, we could have been the happiest people around, Jin. She's aware with the corporation. That means.. "And Heejin Unnie. You know how much I love my sister, Ryeong. And 'my' daughter." We both became silent for a few minutes before I heard her sigh and stood up. "I owe Miss Myoui my life, Ryeong. I can't just abandon the corporation. At least not until I finish my seven year contract with them."