Teach Me How To Love

Part 22 ~ Michael's 'Little' Secret

I take off my shirt and toss it to the side. She puts her beautiful hands on my chest, smiling shyly. I love her face . . . she's so goddamn beautiful. I get on top of her and start kissing her chest area . . . I slowly put my hands on her breasts and start squeezing them over her bra. She's biting her bottom lip, enjoying what I'm doing. . . . . .

"Michael . . . what are you doing to me? . . . hmmm . . ."

"I wanna love you . . . . you know?"

I pull up her shirt and start kissing her belly. She lets out a soft moan, putting her hands on the back of my head. I slowly and gently unbutton her jeans and pull them down . . . .

"Honey. . . . . what are you doing?"

"I'm showing you how much I love you . . . I know you're not ready for the real deal yet . .but I got something else that I know you'll enjoy"

I take off her jeans and throw them to the side. I'm looking at her soft pink panties . . . I'm getting so hard right now just looking at her. . . she has no idea how hard this is for me . . . knowing I can't get in there . . . but I respect her feelings . . . I love her. I pull her panties aside and start licking her . . . . . she throws her head back in pure bliss, letting me know she's loving it. I'm circling my tongue around on it . . up and down . . left to right . . . making her wet. . . . she enjoys when I lick her . . . but there's something I wanna do now that I haven't done before . . . .

"Michael . . . uhhh . . . oh my god . . . I love you . . you're so great"

I wet my finger and slowly push it inside her . . . she sits up and pushes me off the bed.

"What are you doing??"

"I wanted to use my hand . . . ."

"Michael I told you . . . I'm not ready for that! . . . ."

"I put my FINGER in you . . . my penis was nowhere near!"

"I wanna WAIT! . . why is that so hard for you to understand??"

"Well I'm sorry . . but it IS hard for me to understand . . . all I'm trying to do is make you happy . . I'm not thinking about myself here . . I'm thinking about ways to pleasure you without using my d*ck . . and it's not good enough! . . . . I've been licking you for the past 2 months . . . sorry for wanting to go a little further than that!" I say, putting my shirt back on.
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It's the next day and I slept terribly . . . Destiny went home to her place after our little argument yesterday. She hasn't called me back yet . . it's already late noon and there's still no message from her. The question I'm asking myself is, am I mad at her? or am I mad at myself? . . . I don't know . . I really don't.

I'm at work taking a break in the teacher's office lounge. I don't know what to do with Destiny . . it seems to me that we've come so far and yet we've gone nowhere. . . I don't wanna sound like a jerk . . but I'm a man . . I have needs. . . . and she can't fulfill them . . . we wake up in each other's arms in the morning but nothing's happening . . . all we're doing is kiss and a little touching . . . whenever I make ''a move'' she gets angry. . .

"What's troubling you, Michael?"

I turn around and smile. That question just came from my friend Carolina. She teaches spanish here at this school. She's funny and always in a good mood. We often spend our morning and afternoon breaks together. She's interested in fast cars and so am I. There's always something to laugh when she's around. All the teachers at this school adore her and so do the students. . . . her accent is the funniest thing.

"Michael . . . you seem down . . . wanna talk about it?"

"Oh Caro . . . there's a lot on my mind and you're sweet for asking but I better not talk about it . . I wouldn't even know where to start"

"Come on . . . you look like you could use a shoulder . . let me be your shoulder"

"I don't need a shoulder . . . I need a therapist . . . *sighs* . . ."

"A therapist? . . oh boy . . sounds serious . . ."

"It is . . . ."

"Come on Michael . . . you really look like you could use someone to talk to . . . let it all out:)"

"Alright . . . . I've been with this girl for over 4 months now . . . I really really like her . . she stole my heart the first day I saw her but there's something wrong in our relationship"

"What?"

"There's no sex happening . . . ."

"Doesn't she have a vagina?"

*laughs* . . "She has a vagina but she's not letting me in"

"What's the matter with her?"

"I wish I knew . . . . she says she wants to wait and all that . . but for how much longer am I supposed to wait, you know? . . I wanna be with her . . I really do but I feel like this ain't going anywhere . . . she keeps pushing me away and it hurts . . . . . ."

"Let me just tell you one thing, Michael . . . it's definitely not you . . there's something wrong in her head . . . you're a great catch and she's stupid for letting you wait . . ."

"Thank you . . . . but you know what? . . I'm no saint either . . ."

"What do you mean, Michael?"

"She doesn't know about my daughter . . . ."

"You never told her her about Zaira? . . why?"

"I don't know . . . we had such a rough start to our relationship, you know? . . my crazy ex girlfriend made it really hard on us . . . and when our relationship finally got to a point where we both felt good about it, I never had the guts to tell her . . . I was afraid she might leave me . . . . she's really complicated and easily hurt . . . . . so I just . . . never told her . . ."

"Oh boy . . . . Michael you digged yourself quite a hole here . . ."

"I know . . . . and you have no idea how much I miss Zaira . . I haven't seen her in 6 months . . do you know how much that hurts me? . . she lives so far away and I am always so busy working . . . and her mother is too . . . . it's hard to be a great father when you can't be part of your kid's life, you know? . . she was born when I was 18 years old. . . back then I was too scared to be a father and now that I wanna be a father, I can't. . . my little girl lives so far away from me . . . ugh. . :( . . there's so much stuff in my head right now, I could seriously cry . . . so much is going on . . . I don't even know what to do anymore. . . and I'm cranky . . . because-"

"Because you get no sex. . . ."

"Darn right . . . . .this is so embarrassing, why am I even telling you all this?"

"Because you can . . . come on Michael, there is no shame . . . it's not your fault that she doesn't wanna sleep with you . . . if you really like that woman then you will have to wait for her to come around . . I guess . . . . but if you feel like you can't wait, you gotta do something about it . . . ."

"What are you talking about? . . . what should I do about it?"

"You guys are not engaged, right?"

"No . . ."

"Exactly . . . . so live a little . . . she's not your wife . . . don't feel like you have to wait in a cage until she's ready . . she's not being fair to you . . . it's not ok to keep you waiting like that . . . I say, and this is coming from a 38 year old woman, you should have a little life on the side . . . . . now don't get me wrong, I'm not the person to support cheating . . . not at all . . but in this case, I don't know what else you could do . . . you have to think about yourself for a change . . . . you're a teacher to students 5 days a week . . . now it's time for you to be a teacher to yourself . . . . learn how to live a little . . you're still young. . . ."

~ to be continued ~