HIS OBSESSION

Part 13

AN: warnings. Talk of suicide, angst, smut, fluff and love

All mistakes are my own and the devil dyslexia xx

13.

Bucky.

Walking into the main kitchen area, I can't stop myself from picking up plastic cup that has been randomly left on the side and hurling it at the nearest wall. I sigh heavily. Shit. Standing with my hands on my hips I glare at my bare feet in an attempt to calm myself down. I usually do better at this, Jesus I am the epitome of calm normally, I have to be but then Megan has more than a small effect on my emotions. Which should make me smile, and it does, but I haven't ever let anyone in like I have her, except Steve.

I know that Steve is stood behind me, I can feel his gaze on me as I turn and I give a slight shake of my head in an almost apology before walking over the far wall and picking up the small pieces of plastic that are now strewn across the floor. "Sorry."

Steve gently takes a glass out of a top cupboard and pours some orange juice in it from the fridge. As he was putting it back in the fridge, he smiles at me. "Don't worry about it, it's not like I don't want to do the same."

"But you're not, your calm. I don't understand how you can be so calm after what we just watched. I literally want to murder someone." He frowns and i hate that slight exasperated 'dad' look he gives me at times like this. "I stood behind Megan and I could visibly see her body shaking from watching her younger self almost get killed." I open my mouth to say more but I actually have no words past my anger.

I shut the lid of the bin a little more forcefully that I intend after dropping the plastic bits in there and I can't help but smile a little at Steve as he hands me the glass of juice he just poured. Didn't realise he was pouring it for me. I drink it down in one, savouring the flavour that is my favourite and enjoying the way the cold slowly travels down my insides. It is calming, and damn, Steve knows that. We know each other better than we know ourselves sometimes.

But there is one question that I need answered, I need to know if it's just me. "Don't you want to kill Parsons?"

He raises his eyebrows at me and looks a little taken a back by it, but he nods. "I shouldn't." He shakes his head. "Watching that guy put his hands on her like that, the pain she was in..." This makes me feel a little better, even though he hasn't actually said it. Steve is the better person and he always has been, but if he feels this way too then I feel a little better about it.

"Yeah I know. I have a need to kill him. Slowly." Thing is I know it wouldn't be slowly, my rage and hurt and desperation for Megan to be safe and free of him will take over I will simply snap the man's neck. "How are you keeping a hold of this?"

He shrugs and throws his hands up a little. "What do you want me to do Buck? Shout and scream?" he gestures towards the wall that I threw the cup at. "Throw stuff?" he chuckles and so do I. "It won't help right now."

"It makes me feel better." I pout slightly and frown. It doesn't.

"We need to work out how we are going to keep her safe and find him, let's put your energy into that instead." I watch him frown. "Tony is looking for links through Rumlow, he maybe the way we find him or at least get close enough to re-capture the prick. And Nat is reaching out to a few contacts to see if there is any underground chatter." He meets my eyes. "We have to keep her safe Bucky. I dunno what I'd do if..."

"I'm right there with you pal. It's ridiculous, I don't know how she has ended up meaning so much to me so quickly and you." It's true, she has somehow made so much difference to the pair of us. "We could take her to Wakanda?" Steve looks at me and raises his eyebrows. "What they have so much tech to keep her safe not to mention the Dora Milaje as well as the N'Charu Silema."