HIS OBSESSION

Part 4

AN: all mistakes are my own. Please comment and share and enjoy. 

4.

Megan

We drive back to my apartment in a white Audio TT, I don't think it's his, it screams Stark. There is silence in the car and it's nice and it's easy. Once we are parked outside he looks up and down the street. I do the same. He turns in his seat towards me. "Let me walk you do your door."

I shake my head. "No need, I'm ground floor, you can literary watch me go in from here."

He smiles. "Just want to make sure you get in ok."

Smooth Barnes, I chuckle and look at the building then back at him. "I'm not inviting you in James."

He moves closer to me in the car, his face close to mine. "I like my real name on your lips."

"Don't many people call you James?" I make a point of saying his name again, I like it too. Stop it woman, you can't have him.

He licks his lips and his eyes dart to mine, they are so blue. He sucks the whole of his bottom lip into his mouth and in that moment I am thinking of Ryan again. His dark mop of hair, his smile and his cocky brave attitude, always ready to save me. Bucky shakes his head and leans in.

I put my hand on his chest to stop his advance, we are both breathing a little heavy and I can feel the steady thump of his heart under my hand. "In the interests of fairness, I should probably tell you that I gave Steve my number." You can't have him either.

His cocky smile is back, so sure of himself, and i kind of love it. "That's ok, at least I know where to steal it from later." I chuckle at him. "I'm still going to kiss you though."

I raise my left eyebrow at him. "Are you?"

He looks momentarily unsure, thank you. "Can I?" I nod, permission man, permission. His metal hand cups my face, it's cool against my skin and feels sexual in some way and his lips brush mine, so very gently. I am lost as he kisses me. Ryan. He, kisses me as I moan, it feels so perfect, Bucky deepens the kiss, his tongue grazing my lips and entering my mouth. His other hand snakes up my thigh, I stop it quickly grabbing his wrist in my hand, just as it is about to go under my dress and find my scars.  There are six straight lines there. His kiss is dominant, but breathtakingly gentle at the same time, its so hard to describe. It's too much, too astounding for my brain to manage, too Ryan. I push Bucky away and smile.

"Goodnight you cocky bastard." I say as i ease myself out of his embrace.

He smiles taking my comment as a complete compliment and it is a supernova of a smile that lights up his entire being as I get out the car. I head into my building and straight into my apartment without a backward glance, as I shut the door I hear and engine rev and wheels screech as he leaves.

With the door shut I let it all wash over me again, leaning my forehead against it I hope Steve doesn't let him have my number. I would struggle to be able to look at Bucky and not see Ryan they are just too similar. Could I? Should I?  Definitely not, or Steve, I should run in the other direction or at least make them run in the other direction.  

Ryan was everything to me. No one will ever match up after everything that happened, I realise that it is because I've put him on a hero pedestal, it's unfair and unrealistic, but when you die like he did, for the reasons he did, how can I feel any other way.  He as my first love, the first to live me after being so damaged. He defended me, he saved my life and in the end he gave his life for mine trying to keep me safe. I should of kept him safe though, I should never of let him into my heart and I should never have gone to him that night, never cried in his arms and begged him not to leave me. I should of let him go. At least he would be alive. 

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End of Chapter 

AN:  Short one for you. Xx