i'll try to fix you | m.c.

eleven: happier

| sam's pov |

I'm okay. I haven't been okay in a really long time. To say Michael helped would be an understatement. Since that day at the beach, we spent together it was different. Everything changed, we've been getting closer and closer. I feel like we're best friends again but I won't tell him that. I won't express that either because I'm not gonna let him win, not yet.

He's fixing me, slowly. But he doesn't have to know that, but you have to be an idiot to not know that. Even Justin said something today. I walked with him to lunch, like we usually do.

"You've been happier lately." He spoke

"I what?" I looked up at him

"You are just better. I dunno you've been smiling a lot lately...it's good."

I blushed.

"No he's just a good friend."

"Did I not make you happy Sam?"

"You want an honest answer Justin?"

"Of course."

"You did but you didn't. Do you know the real reason I became sad?"

"Mike right?"

"Yeah he left and he was my best friend. And I needed him. And I dunno I got sad and lonely. And you, you did help. You took my pain away for a long time."

"But it wasn't good enough." He frowned, I grabbed his hand and gave it a squeeze.

"Please Jus, you helped me. You did but after those long sleepless nights, druken nights, crying all night, you were always there. You know you were, so why doubt yourself?"

"Cause Sam I wasn't good enough. I'm sorry."

I gave him a small smile.

"Sorry dammit. Your still my best friend and I dunno what I'd do without you."

He grabbed my shoulder and hugged me. He was taller but I put my hand loosely around his waist and hugged him back.

"Same here man."

I sat next to Sara at lunch and we had small talk.

"Do you wanna hang tomorrow?" She said and winked at me

"Where?"

"Park."

That meant weed. I've been craving weed, although I'm better, I loved weed. It made me forget just like Michaels kisses.

"Yeah we haven't done that in a while." I nodded

"Cool, and don't bring your lame ass boyfriend."

I scoffed.

"One, he's not my boyfriend. Two, he's sure as hell not lame, he would actually do it with us."

"Sure." She rolled her eyes.

~

It was around 11 o'clock at night when I started walking to the park, alone, when I heard my name. I turned around to see Michael running up to me. I froze.

"Hey, where are you going?"

"Um..to smoke."

"Smoke what?"

"Pot."

He stopped.

"I thought you were doing better?"

"I am but it's always fun to do it once in awhile."

"But-but Sam. It's only going to make things worse."