Found by sin - Bokuaka

Chapter 1

“Go in peace”, the priest said.

“Thanks be to God”, the crowd answered.

Music started playing and most of the people started leaving the church. The priest began cleaning up the altar, when he was approached by a group of middle-age women.

“Thank you, Father Bokuto. It was a beautiful mass you delivered”, said one of the women.

“And your sermones were as insightful and inspiring as always”, said another.

Bokuto knew them from years ago. They were always the persons that appreciated his masses the most, and, to Bokuto’s thought, maybe even exaggerated how good his sermons were. But he always accepted their compliments humbly.

“You're welcome! In fact, I am the one that's thankful, for being given the chance to spread the word of our Lord. Thank you for your kind words, it is my pleasure”, said Bokuto with a wide smile, before wishing the ladies farewell. He watched them leaving along with the remaining people, until he was alone in the church.

He enjoyed those moments after masses, where he could think of his sermone, how people reacted, and how he could improve next time. He enjoyed the silence that came afterwards, too. All of this made him feel fulfilled. He had been the priest of that town for 5 years now, and he had never been happier.

When he started studying to be a priest, he always wanted to transmit God’s message in a way that really reached people, that meant something to them, but without making it a strictly serious matter. He was naturally kind of dorky and a really simple person, so he always managed to slide a joke during masses or talk with a charismatic tone, something that always took people off guard, but ended up being a change for the better. Being able to see the look people made when he said something funny during sermons was something he was really grateful for and proud of.

He put everything in order before getting ready for the confessions that may come during the day. Not that there were too many very often. It was a small town and he practically knew all the people that came to church, along with their stories, to some extent.

Although some priests may find it demotivating in that context, he was glad that some people came often to confess their sins. He didn’t feel disappointed at them, because he knew exactly how hard it is to face your sins and confess to achieve forgiveness. Bokuto felt like he could help give them peace, even if it was for a little while, and he would never think of that as a burden.

He remembered the woman and the elder man that went to confess their sins that afternoon. He'd met them before and listened to their confessions a few times. But he didn’t remember the young man that entered the confessional a few minutes later.

“Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned”, said the man, with a voice that almost sounded tired.

“My last confession was a month ago”, the man continued, looking at the floor, with his hands intertwined. “These are my sins. I…”, he paused, then took a deep breath. “I’ve been losing hope in God’s words”.

This took Bokuto off guard. He had never heard anyone confess something like that.

“I feel… Lost... I feel discouraged by the constant injustice in this world, and… That led me to think that maybe good actions don't matter that much to God… Or at least, it doesn't seem like it. And that thought scares me. I'm afraid of losing faith. I really don't want to lose my faith in God”.

Bokuto could realise the amount of mixed emotions those words revealed.

“It's all I have left”, the man whispered.