Do you worry that you're not liked?
How long 'til you break
You're happy 'cause you smile
But how much can you fake?
-Superman's Dead by Our Lady Peace
Exams were in four days and you were an absolute wreck.
Almost three weeks of Mikasa shutting you out, and though you were ashamed to say it, your relationship problems had greatly affected your studies. You could hardly focus on the material at hand; only absorbing maybe 20% at best. You'd sit down at your desk and crack open your textbooks, start reviewing and boring the chapters, then your mind would wander over to Mikasa and how delicately she would hold her pencil or how she'd lean into you, sharing her warmth, whenever she had to explain a concept to you. The moment your thoughts drifted to the dark beautiful angel, your heart would ace and you lost all motivation to keep studying; opting instead to lie on your bed in the dark listening to music.
It was a Friday afternoon and you had escaped from your last class to cry in the bathroom. Mikasa had been particularity cold the last class, and your heart was ripped and cracked at the thought.
You were on there for about a good 15 minutes already, and you felt exhausted enough that the tears stopped flowing. You stepped out of the bathroom stall, grateful that you were still alone, and headed over to the sink, trying to make it a little less obvious that you had been crying.
Your head was bent over the sink when the door to the bathroom clunked open. You whip your head up to see who came in, only to be met by the blue eyes of queen bee Historia Reiss.
She looks at you as if you are a piece of gum stuck on her shoe, but you scoff and turn your head back around, rolling your eyes as you straighten yourself out as quick as you can.
You knew someone like her would jump at the chance to tell all the other preps that you, the emo kid, was caught crying in the bathroom.
"What the hell is your problem?" Her soft yet commanding voice breaking the awkward silence. You grab another handful of water and splash your face, trying to cover the last of your emotions.
"Go away Historia. Find someone else to laugh at" you hiss through your teeth as another wave of sadness washes over you at the thought of not having Mikasa around to protect you. (Mikasa was a lot tougher than you were, and she had an easier time of standing up for herself against the preps.
"I don't know, you're sitting here crying in the bathroom you might as well tell me what the matter is" her voice gets bratty and her hip just out as her hands are rested on them.
You didn't know what made you do it; maybe it was the desperation at having someone else talk to you, or the overflowing emotions that were about to burst out, but before you could stop, half of the story poured form your mouth.
"An old friend of mine kissed me out of the blue and my girlfriend saw and now she's ignoring me and I can't get through to her" you slap your hand on your mouth as soon as your done.
"Girlfriend?" Historia cocks her head as her expression changes.
Fuck. Fuck. You were absolutely fucked. You just admitted to Historia fucking Reiss that you liked girls. You were over. Your life was over.
Terror gripped your insides and your hands start to mildly shake as you are frozen in place, eyes locked on the floor.
"My girlfriend and I fight sometimes too" Historia's voice, quieter this time, breaks the silence as she steps over to the sink beside you, looking in the mirror.
"Huh" the only sound you were able to make as you looked at her profile as she applied more lipgloss. Girlfriend? Ha should heard her properly?
"Yeah; me and my girlfriend argue quite often actually. She's a real piece of work, but I guess I can be too" she said as she remained facing the mirror, topping up her makeup.
"You're gay?" Was the only question that left your mouth as you kept your eyes glued onto her.
"Yeah, and you're never gonna speak about this to anyone or I will fuck your life up so bad" she said, voice cold as she turned to you, face morphed in anger. You shake your head signalling that her secret was safe with you, obviously being in the same boat, and you manage to choke out a "who".
She looks at you in silence for a few seconds, hands on the sides of the sink.
"Ymir"
You stood in stunned silence as you pondered this new piece of information. BIG information. Historia Reiss, the queen of the school, is gay and is secretly dating Ymir. You were really surprised. (Not about Ymir being gay though, you could just tell about her). Historia shoots you a quizzical look as if to return the question.
"Mikasa" you mutter out, turning around to face the mirror.
"Not surprised" you hear her mumble out as she roots around her makeup bag. Your hands tighten their grip around the sink.
"Well look, y/n" her voice, though still bratty, was a lot softer and more vulnerable than before. "Whenever me and Ymir fight, which is quite often, we just sit apart for a few days, let each other cool down so we don't make things worse. Though it seems you've had enough time to cool, it's important that you two talk it out, and even if both parties don't want to be there, you have to talk to keep the real tip ship going. It's shit work but you have to do it, or else you will ruin everything for the both of you."
Her advice bounced around your head as you pondered her words, still shocked that you were getting lesbian dating advice from Historia Reiss.
"She won't talk to me though, no matter how hard I try" you counter.
Historia stops her makeup retouch and turns to you. "Look, you have to just corner her as best you can. If she really cares about you, she'll stop and let you talk and explain, and if she doesn't, then just leave her".
Your head hurt at the thought of leaving Mikasa: something that you could never fathom doing. You stood there in silence, unsure of what to say.
"Well, good luck with your girlfriend I guess" her makeup kit snaps shut as she packs away her things and adjusts her hair. "God know you don't need to be any more, uh, emo" she looks at you, but not with malice.
"Yeah, thanks" you say, nodding in her direction as she leaves the bathroom.
Checking yourself one last time, you make your way quietly back to class, as you think about Historia and Ymir, and how you were finally going to make amends with your own girlfriend .
♡ ♡ ♡
A/N: HEY!!! I almost forgot that it was Friday and I had to post so good thing I was so bored out by the goldfinch that I remembered.
Anyways yesterday I got a few new piercings and I fucked one of them up while I was sleeping and I've been pulling chunks of dried blood from my ear and my hair all day and holding a tissue so that it does not drip on my shirt. I look very sexy tho.
YOU ARE READING
➕Gothic ➕- Mikasa Ackerman x fem reader
Romance"So don't go worrying about me, it's not like I think about you constantly" Its 2008 and a new year of high school. Y/n is hardly ready to face another year of being an outcast, but at leas...
