Once Hated - Levi Ackerman

Loss

My head dangled, staring deeply into the grass. My knees fell, the impact was slow. Tears rolled down my chin as I looked upon the grey tombstone shining from the sunset. The tall tree towering behind the grave was the same place I would run to for help. My special place is where he is buried.

"Erwin." I whispered, hearing footsteps crunch the leaves nearby. My head couldn't turn. I was so fixed on the words placed on the stone. Best commander and loved dearly. "You were like a father to me." A gust of wind pushed my loose blonde hair back, my tears falling into my lap.

"Nadette." I heard a monotone voice speak, keeping my eye on the grave.

"Yes, Lev?" I replied with a rasped vocal.

"I'm sorry." I could feel his presence drop beside me, him sitting on his knees. A touch grazed my shoulder.

"It's not your fault." My tears started to flow like a river, but I wasn't sobbing nor sniffling.

"Still, I feel like apart of me is to blame. If only I could've done something." His hand rubbed my shoulder slowly.

"It was only a month ago." My whisper was barely getting to him. "It was a mistake he made, but he fought well. My dad fought well." It was a remarkable feeling, calling him my father. I wasn't able to say it before, but I'm sure he can hear my words.

"And you can fight well through this." Levi added. My head cocked to see his eyes glare at the grave. He wasn't crying, but I could see that he was quite close to.

I pushed myself forward, feeling my head crash against his chest. My river would flow off my chin and onto his attire. His heart beat played softly in my ear.

"I can try." I spoke louder, sniffling finally. My hands wrapped around his waist, his connecting around me.

"It's alright. We'll get through it." Just hearing those words were enough to make me finally spill out my emotions. My sobbing wasn't too loud but the cries were aching to hear. The feeling of being held was so soothing, as well as being able to cry.

"Thank you." I cried softly, sniffling once more. "Thank you, Lev."

"Thank you, Nadette." His body leaned back, causing mine to follow. I continued to weep above his chest, my legs scrunching in towards my torso.

His hand released the hold, running up and down my back, calmling me. All I did was lay there, feeling his gentle touch. My breathing slowed, as the relaxing stage of sobbing approached. A smile fell upon me as I thought of the great moments I had with Erwin, and how comfortable it was to tell him about my parents.

"You ok?" Levi asked, his eyes looking down at me. My body stayed in place. I want to go to bed, but I don't feel like walking. In my mind, I laughed to my small plan. I'll act like I'm sleeping, then he'll take me to my room. So, I laid there while his chest would slowly rise then fall. It was nice, feeling one's breathing and hearing their heartbeat.

"I guess you're sleeping." His hand continued to rub my back slowly. My body felt warm, maybe embarrassed. "I know you'll pull through this. Erwin was one I truly respected, but now I faced this. It hurts, I know, but we'll get through it." It seemed like he was talking to me or himself. These words were coming from the heart. The way his voice sways with emotion, it's just obvious.

I moved my arms to his torso and my legs were still scrunched by his waist. I could hear the smile on his face, even though he wasn't speaking. When will he take me to my room?

"Alright, let's go." Immediately after my thought, he lifted my body bridal style and continued forth through the small green trees. My head would rest on his arm as my legs dangled off his elbow. "Thank god you are my height and weight." A smile almost appeared on my face, but I was able to hold the grudge back.

Eventually, I found myself in my room, being lowered into my mattress. Levi lifted the sheets and rested them on top of my body.

"Goodnight." Before he left, he pushed a chunk of my hair out of my face. His footsteps were quiet and faint.

My eyes stayed closed, attempting to sleep. The problem was that my mind went off about thinking of Levi and everyone here has has improved my life greatly. Erwin would order us around, but he deeply cared. Levi would cause fights, but he would risk his life for anyone. Eren is strong with a wonderful mindset. Hanji may be a crazy scientist, but she is an amazing friend at the bottom of it.

All these people have improved my experience here greatly, and caused me to stay upon this forsaken earth.

"Hey, Nadette." Hanji whispered. There were multiple footsteps crawling to my position. I was so close to drifting asleep, but they had to show up.

"She's asleep, lets leave her." Eren's soft voice rung in my ears.

"What?" My voice seemed hoarse, lifting my upper body to see their faces.

"Oh, well." They both approached me, settling themselves in the chairs nearby. "We wanted to apologize for Erwin's death." Hanji spoke, leaning forward onto her elbows.

"Yea, we weren't there to help him." Eren looked down, seeing a white gap in his eyes as bags were beneath them.

"It's not your fault. Eren? Have you had enough sleep?" I asked, his face looking somewhat sickly.

"I just feel as if I'm to blame." A small grin on my face watched him raise his gaze.

"Lev also said that, but he also said that we are going to push forward." I replied, looking at him eagerly.

"What?"

"Just know, it is a sad loss for everyone, but we can get through. We also have to get through the hundreds of other comrades." I acknowledged, keeping my eyes only on Efen.

"We can get through?" He asked, sounding slight like he couldn't hear what I said. My eyebrows furrowed, feeling sadness rise within me again, but I did my best to push through.

"Yes. Just let your feelings go when you can, then realize that Erwin has made a difference in many peoples' lives. We'll get our next commander who I'm sure will do the same." I beamed, looking at Hanji with my slightly forced smile.

"Thank you, Nadette." She nodded, standing up beside Eren. "I'm glad to see you are resolving. I'll leave you be." She began to walk away, leaving Eren behind in his chair.

"Nadette." His eyes dropped from mine, looking at his hands.

"Eren, it's ok. I'm honestly in alot of mental pain from this loss, but I'm trying to keep a good mindset." I articulated with a small grin, hoping this could get into his mind.

"Thanks." He sighed, looking back at me with a slight blush in his cheeks. "I'll add that to the list of things I'll work on. The first thing is to get over my feelings for you." He stood with a small grin. He quickly saluted, showing a determined face, one he displays often.

"You do you, Eren." I sighed in relief, the joy washing over me from letting Eren see the light.

"Besides, I already know who you like." My eyes widened, looking into his.

"What?" I asked, tilting my head sideways as if I was clueless.

"Captain Levi, ofcourse. Hanji told me." I face palmed to his words, he baring a small chuckle escape his mouth.

"So, whatever Hanji says is true?" I asked, knowing the feeling is true, but did he have to know?

"She is a scientist after all, so she kinda has to be right." His footsteps began to fade, opening the door. "But I hope he treats you well."

"Eren, you son of a-" The door shut. My presence felt so annoyed but then relieving from not having to deal with anyone. A grin reapplied itself, my head crashing back onto my pillow.

"Finally, sleep." My legs moved to a colder spot on the mattress, pushing one of my hands under the pillow for coolness. My eyes closed, feeling my mind drift off.

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